what to have safely packed away?

[mouseymummy]

If you were advising someone who was planning to leave their husband/partner. What would you say were essential paperwork and other items to take?

2 children (soon to be 3) with a house in their name but husband refuses to leave or tries to leave with the baby, claiming she isn't reaponsable enough.

The elder child is 9 and is starting to be the one on the recieving end.

She's at her wits end but needs him to fuck up.

What should she pack away so if she needs to,.she can get away?

[Vivacia]

(Hmm, even more confused by KatieScarlett's post now).

On the mouse theme, how about TheMouseWhoRoared?

[mouseymummy]

Viv, I like that, is very high up on the maybe pile (ok, only idea so far!)

Berkshire, I hope it was good tears! Mumsnet has been a lifeline and I will pm you my new nn, as and when I get round to setting one up... I keep forgetting I can go on the computer now!

I have been looking into doing an open uni course as I can't get funding to actually go to uni, I've been thinking maybe physcology (excuse the spelling) or something similar, I might actually request the brochure.. once I've worked through my list and hopefully my head is a little clearer.

I've actually misses him today, baby has been really restless and teething and I've hardly been able to put her down. Even the eldest couldn't soothe her. I'm now wondering how the hell am I going to cope with 3 on my own? I know I shouldn't miss him but at least when he was here I'd get to go to the toilet!

Tomorrow is another day and I just need to keep going.

[BerkshireMum]

Love that name Vivacia!

[BerkshireMum]

Amongst all the things to do, I'd suggest adding getting a referral to your local HomeStart. And I know you have some RL support available, so don't be afraid to ask for help - minding your youngest for a couple of hours is do-able if you ask.

[Lweji]

So he left his wallet and phone at home?

He is likely to go back for them.
Could you arrange for his family to get them? Or hand them to the police?

Yes, do be careful and extra vigilant. Do not open the door to him and keep your distance.

[raisah]

Please get the locks changed in case he has made copies of the keys. Leaving the keys behind could be a deliberate trick in making you feel safe and secure.

Could you get family/friends to stay over or drop by for a few days? If he is having the house watched then a constant stream of visitors may prevent a surprise visit.

For your teething baby, try dentinox as that worked wonders for my dd.

Can you speak to your hv about your new status as she will be in a good position to refer you for practical help & give you information about local support. Speak to Womens aid, CAB (they can help with benefit
entitlement, budgeting advice etc) and I think Gingerbread is the charity for lone parents.

Please keep us updated.

[LoisPuddingLane]

Hello - just another thought. If you know the names of the people he assigned to follow you, it might be worth giving them to the police. Your husband may not be allowed to approach you but he could instruct his creepy friends to do so.