what to have safely packed away?

[mouseymummy]

If you were advising someone who was planning to leave their husband/partner. What would you say were essential paperwork and other items to take?

2 children (soon to be 3) with a house in their name but husband refuses to leave or tries to leave with the baby, claiming she isn't reaponsable enough.

The elder child is 9 and is starting to be the one on the recieving end.

She's at her wits end but needs him to fuck up.

What should she pack away so if she needs to,.she can get away?

[Charlesroi]

Good work mousey (and whoever phoned the police). Make sure you tell the police everything he's done and accept any help they can offer re keeping him away from you.
When you feel better see about getting legal aid.

[mouseymummy]

No idea who called police, still shocked tbh.

The police took him into another room, spoke to me and then arrested him.

First day off to a good start, baby slept all night til 7am lol.

So tired though. Going to have a lazy day I think.

Police said he'd be bailed to not come near me or kids so he can't come back. If he does j need to phone 999. Probably be bailed this morning.

No one knows yet but I'm going to let everyone know later on. When I feel ready. Just want to be on my own with the kids right now.

Again, thank you all for your help and ill post later when baby is asleep.

[MadameLeBean]

Might sound obvious but can you get the locks changed on your house? Did the police take his keys?

So glad he was arrested. This is a new start for you and your kids.

[turbochildren]

That's just fantastic! Ring 999 if anything, however small, should happen. If he breaches bail conditions it's straight in to prison for him.
My only peice of advice would be to tell everything and not try to protect him. I did, and it came back to bite me in the butt. Stay safe with your children. Yes, see if you can change the locks, or fit bolts on the doors.
Enjoy your lazy day!

[KatieScarlett2833]

Sorry your JCP person was so crap. Ask to speak to another advisor as you can get a DV exemption if you take along some proof ( police?) for 13 weeks which means you don't have to look for work. The idea is that you obviously have lots on your plate at the moment and you need your money.
Or, you can now claim IS as you have a baby and no longer live with the abuser.
Bloody well done in getting free. If you need any benefits advice, pm me.

[mouseymummy]

Madam, he didn't take keys or anything actually, no wallet or phone so I don't have to change the locks. His phone is switched off and mine is constantly on me, just in case.

Turbo, I won't be protecting him but I won't be shouting it from the roof tops either! I'm thinking if I tell a few of the local gossips,.it'll get around quick enough n its not like I've gotta cope with the school run or anything in the next few weeks!

Katie, shall be applying for is on Monday so I no longer have to job hunt. Not like anyone is going to hire ne anyway (put on my cv that I am pg so I'm not even getting interviews). It's so nice to be able to chill out and relax. I didn't even do the washing up last night and I've had a burger for lunch and baby had fish fingers... So very naughty of us!

As he knows my email and mn name, I'm going to start by changing my email and my mn and starting again. Even on the net!

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.

[turbochildren]

Sorry, no I didn't mean it like that :) it was more if you do a statment to the police.
Hardly anyone knows around where I live, not even that I'm single parent now. I only told when pressed on why we were not together anymore.
But that's by the by, enjoy the rest of your day!

[BerkshireMum]

You sound like a different person from yesterday Mouse - and you definitely need a ballsy new name!

If you can, I'd change the locks anyway, you don't know for sure what he might have done with keys. I'm sure you'll get support if you need it from SS and the police now. Glad they acted so quickly yesterday. Bet he had a shock when they turned up.

[mouseymummy]

I'm not sure who was more shocked, me or him tbh. I've seen people write on the mh boards that someone should get the address of mnhq and call the police but didn't think they would... Obviously wrong!!

Police said I'd probably get a visit from ss next week and to not worry about it. The officer said it'd be a case of them coming round and making sure we were ok and probably doing some form of assessment should he go for access to youngest and baby. They will also help with anything we need regarding safety in the home and probably moving too, I need to move anyway as I'm in a 2 bed and ill have 3 kids soon,

My sil called me today and her and my brother are coming over tomorrow to see us and probably to shout at me for not telling her. I almost felt guilty for telling her iyswim... Really didn't expect that.

Tomorrow is the eldests first full day at home so time to tell her he's gone. Not sure what to say bit I'll come up with something.

Just put on a dvd for eldest and taken youngest to bed. Hoping she sleeps tonight too. Really need an early night!

[CheeseFondueRocks]

I'm so glad someone phoned the police for you. I bet it was the jc person. Do change your email and nickname now. Do you know otbt on here? You could start a thread there just to be sure.

[Sparrowlegs248]

It may well be the JC person, they may have thought about it afterwards or mentioned it to a colleague who said they should have done more. Hope it all works out for you.

[BerkshireMum]

Not sure if I should say, but I sent Huddersfield police a link to this thread......

[CheeseFondueRocks]

BerkshireMum, whether it was what you did or the JC person, well done you!

And I do think the JC person thought about what she said to the OP afterwards. She was in a position where she could have offered help and didn't.

[BerkshireMum]

I hope it was jc person as well as me - and maybe others - I can't imagine someone NOT reacting to a plea like that.

[gingerchick]

So glad you're safe mouse and well done berkshireMum what a fab idea

[KatieScarlett2833]

I would have called SS

[Vivacia]

Why did you post that KatieScarlett?

[primallass]

Did you phone them KatieScarlett?

[nectarini1983]

Ding dong the bs gone! You go girl! X

[sillymillyb]

I've been lurking, but just wanted to say how thrilled I am for you mouseymummy def second the idea of a ballsy new nickname!

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

" he didn't take keys or anything actually, no wallet or phone so I don't have to change the locks"

Please don't assume that he won't try to access the home. He repeatedly attacked you, had you imprisoned, held your baby hostage and he had you followed in the street. This is an unstable, violent and irrational man and he has friends that thought it was OK to follow you. He may be shocked and evicted at the moment but please take extra precautions and stay vigilant.

[feelokaboutit]

mouseymummy, I am so glad the police came for your h.

I second what cogito has just said - please don't relax until you have moved house (to an address unknown to your h and any of his family / friends) in the second. This is urgent. Could you stay somewhere else (also unknown to your h) until you have a new place to live? Your husband has severe mental health issues and may be seeking revenge once he has got himself together.

Please go for the full force of the law against your h - he needs to know there will be immediate consequences if he comes anywhere near you or your children.

I wish you the best of luck and send you lots of love.

[mouseymummy]

It was you berkshire!! Thank you so much!! I know it had come from here as they said "from some woman's site" so I presumed mnhq had phoned them!

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. I think.I might even love you lol xxx you seriously saved my life and I will never be able to repay that.

Sorry I've not been OM, trying to readjust to life.... He did feck all around the house but I'm still trying to figure out my place again

Kids are so much more settled already... No jumping to attention every two seconds for any of us.

I've been considering this moving business, right now he has to stay away, until at least tomorrow. (court dates etc), hopefully the court will grant a restraining order, if they do then it gives me breathing space, if not, the sw will try deal with getting us into a refuge.

I have applied for the ha in the next town over and for school places for eldest, I need to go to drop off.my proof of pregnancy and then I get placed somewhere on the list.

Got loads still to sort but I will get there. I've been given a list and I'm working my way through it very slowly!

Still need that new nickname so all thoughts on that greatly welcome.

[BerkshireMum]

I'm just glad I knew how to find email addresses for local area police teams - and glad they took it seriously. I didn't get a reply - and didn't expect one - but I was on edge waiting to see if anything happened.

Reading your message just now made me cry. I hope that, as well as giving you and your DC the space you need to live the lives you deserve, it also shows that we can all do something to make a big different to other people - you never know when the chance might come.

Take care mouse. Looking forward to reading about your progress. If you do decide to name-change, can you make sure I know who you are?