Dating - The Thread. Come and Share Care and Cheer!

[AWarmFuzzyFuture]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. They should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop

I'm bloody hopeless on a bouncy castle sober. With booze I would probably do better.

I wouldn't necessarily take any notice of me anyway, I'm the kind of person who had contingency plans for which A&E we were going to when we went ice skating...

And Twinny you wicked woman, you made me buy a dress this afternoon

Lovely things happening on here at the moment! Have been reading but not posting for a couple of days as I've felt a bit quiet, but really pleased reading all the good news on here. This is going to be a bit of a long me-me-me post, so apologies in advance and thank you to all of you who've posted the lovely supportive messages, really appreciate it as I am feeling a bit low at the moment.

Juliette I put that very suggestion to him (and very bluntly, no ambiguity at all, very unlike me) but he thinks that if we go to bed things will get very involved very quickly as we already like each other an awful lot, so he wants to wait so that if things turn out badly it will be easier for me to walk away. Lots of ifs and buts about this scenario, but I've talked to a close male friend about this, in detail so he knows what's possibly involved, and he can entirely understand this. Personally I would just go for it, but it is his decision as well as mine, obviously, and when it comes down to it there's no real problem in waiting a few weeks to see what's going on. He's really lovely and I'm hoping that this one will all work out well. He went out yesterday and bought a coffee machine (he doesn't drink coffee) and a toaster (doesn't have toast) for when I stay over at his, got plans for next month and September, so once this bloody thing is out of the way we'll be right. He thinks I'm wonderful, I think he's wonderful and can't believe how happy I am feeling with this man at the moment.

He's on holiday this week and when he gets back I think he will be in hospital soon after, was supposed to be this week coming but he postponed it due to his holiday.

I am really glad that he's told me what is going on. It can't have been at all easy for him and he's not told anyone else, not even his family, so I feel very touched that he told me. I hope this doesn't come over wrong as of course the health stuff is a dreadful worry, but I am so glad that it's not how he feels about me that has been stopping things, and I now know what's been going on with all the trips away as well.

Just cannot believe the fucking unfairness of virtually the same bastarding thing happening twice.

OWW, I'm not sure what to say but I think with the toaster and coffee machine that he is investing a lot from what is quite a short time that says much more than sex could. I don't know what the health issues are of course so just hope that you are Ok with it all.

OWW it's a complete bag of shite, isn't it ? I'm really sorry you've been confronted by something like this again, petal.

wine - ouch did it take a long time to heal?

western - how long have you been seeing him? I hope it all goes well for him health wise and you two as a couple.

Well after my date with mrworkaholic on wednesday we messaged a little, and havnt spoke since friday. Its just so weird how when we are togther he seems so keen etc, when we are apart he goes quiet. I wonder if its the case that hes nice then that leads to me being hopeful, then he has to 'manage my expectations' so he can't be consistant or making alot of contact etc as then I would expect that alot. Typical mr unavailable behaviour.

Oww Its very unfortunate both having a similar health issue. But that seems to be all they have in common. Alpha is letting you in, keeping you in the loop, thinking of you, all good stuff

OWW this may seem the same at first glance but it is a very different situation because he is a very different man. He has told you all about it, is a grown up, everything he does supports what he says and he has bought a coffee machine . He sounds perfectly lovely and clearly knows you are too. It is totally unfair, but now's the time enjoy what is and to look forward.

Bant is Aruba conservative or maybe just not very interesting generally, it's so easy to mistake odd things for cultural differences. Not at all a cad, no one has to put up with mediocre sex and anyway, we're right out of cad badges as there's never been a need for them

Bouncy castles, it happens.

Need to do some major catching up on this thread after being away for the weekend!

Gran is in hospital with an infection which is delaying her chemo :(

However, just landed back at my flat to a letter from the hmrc saying they owe me money and a birthday card from my mum (she's not spoken to me for three months) - it's my birthday in nine minutes :)

The reason I popped on here is that Hillman has just asked me on a date! Not been asked in ages and we've been texting for a few weeks so I thought nothing would come of it...still need to confirm day/location and more importantly...OUTFIT!

happy birthday (minus 8 minutes!) spangled!

sorry to hear about your gran

remind me why "Hillman", is he "outdoorsy rugged" type?

OWW the situation is shite, but definitely getting ultra good vibes about the "connection" you guys have. and keep posting lots!

at winefiend, a glass of and a bouncy castle. that will be a good night.

at all the good interactions and beginnings (hey, including mine!)

definitely agree with juliette that its nice to just seize the happiness and the excitement when we can, even if the future is possibly uncertain!

Yeah re: workaholics I'm feeling the pain!

But then to me workaholic guys often seem a bit more masculine and "interesting"

especially if they're doing something they really enjoy and are passionate about rather than being the kind of guy who moans every day that Dave the manager made them work through lunch and you don't need to see them every night which appeals so its swings and roundabouts really!

Happy happy birthday, Spangled! Sorry about your Nan, though. Hope she's well enough to start treatment soon

OWW, what the others have said. He sounds completely different to LM, and I have a Good Feeling about this.

Lubes

Wine, you have to.

Bant, mixed news from you, sounds very up and down. You ok with everything?

A cheery good morning to everyone else. I am being propositioned (in a nice way) on OKC by a guy 13 years younger than me, and have a potential date lined up with Poshboy later this week.

WFF, I've not forgotten you, will pm later.

hillman because it was the first thing that popped into my head - he's forever talking about hillwalking.

Thanks for the birthday wishes

been trying to catch up on the thread - you guys have been busy! Glad to hear some good news though!

Happy birthday spangled and re date and olive branch from your mum..

oww sounds tough but very honest and having been through similar with my XH I know that tests put a halt to any planning for men... I wanted to go ahead and try and get pregnant as planned before treatment started (hope to god it doesn't get to that for you and that all is actually well - chances are it will be) and he refused, rightly as it happens and it all worked out ok - well that bit of it things anyway! (Recovering, having the dc etc.) but what I mean is that he, in my opinion, is doing the right thing.
He sounds very lovely and you will hopefully look back on this time as really quite meaningful and positive.

bant sounds complicated and a head fuck tbh. I second what the others say about Aruba - ie is it good? No harm in seeing her and having fun if that's clear it is what it is about. The cultural thing must be really hard! I struggle with same culture haha!

Deleted FP. Would say 'next' but pof yielding only weirdos. Did manage to stay on the sofa last night ( was very comfy ) but went on briefly yesterday afternoon and had a brief chat with someone whom looked nice but then sent me 3 lots of 3 messages in a row, getting shirty when I didn't reply! I know that happens but not had before!

Yay to everyone who is having loved up times or the promise of them..

Anyway this is too long now.. Going to stop wittering on..

bant I think you've already decided that Aruba isn't for you .. Would it not be kinder just to call it a day?

spangled happy birthday

OW I think alpha sounds like a keeper .. Hopefully he gets good news at the hospital

I have had the most amazing weekend .. FoF is definitely not meh ( hope nora is standing by with the crash carp!!)

He is very attentive and sensual .. And nicely assertive in bed .. Sunday morning we made breakfast together and then when I went for a shower he did the dishes! We went back to his and headed out for lunch and went for a lovely seaside walk .. Went to bed for a whole and then I went for groceries ( the first thing I have paid for apart from a couple of rounds on Saturday ) .. He took the groceries off of me handed me a glass of wine and made dinner.. Opens car doors .. We have both said just how right and easy it all feels .. I'm seeing him again tonight .. The plan is to go kayaking .. It was a real wrench to leave this morning and I am just about to get to work 90 mins later than usual but very happy

Hello all, happy birthday spangled

Well if I hadn't almost DTD with Mermaid I'd still have spent a couple of days with someone very interesting and funny and that may itself have put me off Aruba a bit, or at least have shown me what I'm looking for which Aruba doesn't have. She's just added a couple more photos to her OKC profile and they remind me she really is very attractive indeed but I'm trying to not be shallow.. She's earnest and honest but she keeps making these jokes about being a secret agent like its the funniest in-joke in the world and I have no idea what she's on about.

So, I'll see her when I'm back over there and hope it was just nerves making her act a bit odd and she'll calm down a bit. And conversely that she'll become a bit more adventurous in bed, as the mermaid threw that into stark contrast..

Morning all,

Happy birthday Spangled

Kirsty FoF sounds simply wonderful, glad your weekend went so well! When are you seeing him next?

Bant it's nice that you have Aruba to go back to when you return to, but the longer you continue to see her, the trickier it will be to extricate yourself....

I think I'm heading for the sofa. Have decided that the guy I met last week just isn't keen enough on me. Chatted to a couple of new folks on POF over the weekend but suspect they're not overly keen either.... Feeling pretty crap about myself just now (could be extended wine doom from weekend) and don't think I can be bothered. Will just live vicariously through you all for now! Having a week off wine too. Could be a long one....

Ah Kirsty, you've already said when you're seeing him next - enjoy!

Hello all

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I sent him a looooong email this morning attempting to sort out a load of the details and obstacles that were on our minds and got the best one in the world ever ever ever back

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

as you were, I just had to go and burst somewhere briefly

Happy birthday Spangled and great news on the date - Hillman sounds great! Are you doing anything special today? Hope you have better news about your grandma soon.

Well Bant I think she might come out of her shell after a couple of sessions and turn into a proper Mata Hari. It sounds like Hungary is a bit 1950s on the dating scene, so she's probably fighting all the "Nice girls don't" propaganda. Could still be okay, but if you're really not into her it might be kinder to stop things sooner rather than later.

Kirsty oooh he sounds lovely. Nicely assertive too, you lucky woman. Great stuff.

Lubey really happy to read your post yesterday, it sounds great.

Flipper sounds like you're having fun at the moment!

New thanks for sharing your experience about your ex, it's very reassuring. Someone good will turn up amongst the weirdos before too long!

Django good for you not settling for the crumbs!! Could well be winedoom, horrible feeling, and the grey skies and rain don't help either. It's not you, though, you know, nothing wrong with you at all, but maybe a sofa break is a good plan. Be kind to yourself.

Happy Birthday Spangled

Lubey your face off!

Django don't let any of it get you down, over and over it's clear on this thread that for all of us 'it's not you, it's them' because we are all fab and compare notes have standards.

Kirsty what a wonderful weekend, do hope you've left him a husk of his former self

Happy Birthday Spangled Best wishes for your Gran.

Kirsty FoF just fab!

Lubey

Flipper Sounds promising.

All you lot are fab! No bloody crumbs here