Dating - The Thread. Come and Share Care and Cheer!

[AWarmFuzzyFuture]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. They should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop

Nowt doing 48.

Bill. I think I've made it clear that I "like" him, am enthusiastic participant in snogging sessions, but I've not said anything a la Buffy so if he's not good at signals and hints then he could be waiting for the green light still.

I have bought a Wowcher voucher for restaurant near him and am going to suggest using that next time, then will see if he invites me in (or will invite myself). Can't think of anything better.

Title I think it all sounds like a bit of a misunderstanding and crossed wires - give him another chance.

Title I confess that it's been a long day and I can't entirely follow who promised what to whom, but that does sound like he's being unnecessary difficult. I don't even have kids but it's natural when making plans to a) be specific and b) make clear that you will want to do something else with your time if someone can't come good for you. It sounds more like he's flaky and doesn't get how vague he's been rather than trying deliberately to rattle you, but I'd be keeping the Mr Lovely title under review!

Title you're right, he is being quite passive aggressive and his true colours are beginning to show. You'll spot those traits quicker next time. I'm sorry he didn't come up to scratch

Hello thread 59. A quick pop back from me.

All still well with Mr Flirt. Had a GORGEOUS weekend with him last weekend. Ooo-er. :o

Have to say seems veryodd to me Oww If a man hadn't wanted to get naked with me by now I would have lost all interest. I mean it usually just happens, doesn't it

hehe Winefiend I love your attitude to ex.

I should have developed that to mine long ago. I only heard from him when he was horny and there was nothing glamorous enough going on with his youngg media friends...now I don't hear from him at all, for obvious reasons (he pulled someone on media circuit no doubt, and I am now entirely surplus to requirements).

These fake 'friends' are such a bloody waste of time and energy.

Speaking of time and energy I've got a second date coming up with nice non monogamous bloke from OKC.

I snogged him last time and although stupidly horny as always I am scared stiff to DTD.

You may recall my recent one night stand with a MUCH younger man did not end well. In fact it ended in a totally vile text enquiring if he needed to check for diseases (fucked up little prick really... no one forced him to shag me twice, with condom I hasten to add).

Now the thing is I'd been with ex for 3 years before this and got used to him and a certain level of familiarity/ease. I've got scars from surgery on my body including a big abdominal one, that he was used to of course but now I'm really scared of revealing them to someone else. Didn't care that much with the ONS, but am wondering if that was one of the reasons he was so weird and vile the next day- cos I look horrible naked.

I know the only way is just to plunge in and DTD but it feels so horribly exposing and not sexy at all.

Also I may be getting the curse- which is a definite no no for first date shag and would solve the problem. If date is expecting shag I assume one simply slips away in a ladylike fashion? blimey. I am not good at this stuff as tend to just blurt out everything way too soon.

Agreed OWW I would be getting weird vibes by now. I would however probably have just blurted out 'do you want to shag or not??' which might not have helped :/

My dad used to buy a lady friend flowers and gifts every week for years. He had no intention of it developing any further, was still in love with my mum. But he did enjoy the wooing. The lady friend was quite happy with her gifts. Nowt as strange as folk.

48 my mum would have gone mental if my dad did that!! She'd have considered it cheating...

Hostess. My mum left my dad way before the lady friend. Sorry wasn't clear

Have you replied yet OWW?

Having agreed exclusivity with my not going to marry him chap, I'm weighing up whether to agree to talk about "us" with someone else who I know is interested and I sort of got of the starting blocks with recently. It's wrong isn't it?

Hmm. trying to get my head round that one stranger

Because of dodgy typing or dodgy ethics?

Porridge - I think the type of guy will e a fast forwarder often, so wants to sleep with you quickly or seems like he wants to be in a committed relationship quickly. Then can also go cold quickly.

Not sure what the other signs are off the top of my head.

They can also be victim types, like everyone leaves me/cheats etc.

I'm sure there are millions more signs that I can't thnk of right now.

Hostess. I haven't met any men with perfect bodies

Yay for Mr Flirt lubey Is he the one you were starting to have feelings for?

Title sorry he didn't turn out to be quite who you thought he was.

The situation Stranger Can't imagine talking to a maybe about a dead cert. If you get my drift.

hostess only certified dickheads whose main sexual experience is internet porn make the other person self conscious about scars or whatever...maybe wait till you're a bit more "comfortable" with the guy if you're not certain, but do remember if he makes you self conscious it's SO him not you...(if you're really self conscious put on a negligee)

yeah re: period just say "sorry, ladies issues" or something! its a little bit but i think most solid guys actually find it sweet that a woman can "confess" to him rather than just say NO to sex. you can make out until the pants are due to come off some men have their red wings or want to get them so you may find this isn't a problem

Winefiend sorry you had a shit day

(i had involvement with the courts with serious family issues as a girl/young woman, and i find it comforting and amazing to think that someone involved in the court process "from the other side" actually gives a shit about what happens!)

Winefiend DEFINITE NC there. I should have done it with ex loooong ago. As it was the git ended up cutting ME off! How dare he :)

You sound as if you have given this guy wayyyy too much rope already. He may even be texting in case he decides the kids don't need him any more and he can work out whether he could weasel his way back...

Agree 48 no perfect bodies on men.. I think my ONS thought of himself as a bit of an Adonis, and kind of was tbh, although without my wine goggles the overwhelming arrogance would have put me right off ...but if so why pursue a 40 year old woman who has had 2 kids then get all disgusted? I do know the answer tbh- young idiot does not know what actually wants...

bugger must invest in a negligee.... I also had breast reconstruction after some issues with lumps a while back- they look ok but are very HARD! and pretty obviously fake... which also worries me. Sigh. Ex may have been a wanker but I never had to explain any of that.

Title yeah i find being difficult about scheduling to be a sign of passive aggressiveness - even if you're being uber-reasonable in trying to find some time together they want you to "display how much you like them" by being at their social beck and call! not good!

one guy i dated would ALWAYS leave me hanging on texts, or commit to one plan then cancel or "forget" at the last minute. done in a very polite and charming way though so i didn't call him out! looking back, i think although there was good mutual attraction, he wanted me "off balance and constantly calling/chasing after/obsessing over him". he was quite insecure in some ways, and i think was trying to train me into being more affectionate/accommodating?