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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating - The Thread. Come and Share Care and Cheer!

999 replies

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 18/07/2013 21:04

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. They should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 26/07/2013 21:55

Wine I'm with you on that one. I do wonder whether it's sometimes a case of starting late and not quite getting it right. Kind of like if you miss out on doing eyeliner or something during the teen years you sometimes never quite get that either.

Winefiend · 26/07/2013 21:58

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T2710 · 26/07/2013 22:04

I fear I'm losing faith in the online dating game. Tonights thread updates just further reiterate that most of the men online are quite frankly twatful.
Nothing new to report for me. Mr ignorer comes back fro his lads hol on Sunday. This is annoying me as I know I'm guna want to contact him. On the plus side Irish from Monday has sent me a lovely lovely message. I wish I fancied him :0(
Off to the races for ladies day tomorrow. Very excited!

Winefiend · 26/07/2013 22:05

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

T2710 · 26/07/2013 22:07

Wine, having completed a law degree I must say law students can be VERY VERY odd. We had a man/lady student at uni. Put a bit more effort in than the aforementioned though Smile

Winefiend · 26/07/2013 22:10

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Winefiend · 26/07/2013 22:12

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T2710 · 26/07/2013 22:15

I could and should delete everything, but I kinda don't want to. Glutton for punishment me. I know I'll look like an arse if I contact him before he contacts me though so hopefully that thought enough will do the trick.
I shall go hairy and wear my greying old underwear. Haha. Will definitely score.

Winefiend · 26/07/2013 22:21

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OhWesternWind · 26/07/2013 23:16

Blimey this man is lovely.

I know what's going on now, and it's both okay and not okay. There are some health issues though not what springs immediately to mind. He wants to wait for the results of some tests before things go any further as he thinks it's not fair on me otherwise. I don't agree but hey. Invited him in, didnt go to bed but lots of kissing. I think we are possibly falling for each other a little bit. Very mixed feelings tonight. This has come as a total shock, worried about him and wondering why things are never straightforward Sad. This also explains all the time away as he's been having hospital appointments back where he used to live.

Don't know who will remember, but this is remarkably similar to what happened with LM.

KinNora · 26/07/2013 23:23

I remember OWW. Did he say why he's having the tests at a hospital where he used to live rather than locally ?

OhWesternWind · 26/07/2013 23:24

He's only just transferred to a new gp up here, has kept going down south as he's already got a place in the queue rather than starting afresh with new referrals up here.

KinNora · 26/07/2013 23:25

Sorry, appointments, rather than tests.

KinNora · 26/07/2013 23:28

Ok. Does he have any idea of a timeframe in which he'll be able to make some decisions about you and him ?

Winefiend · 26/07/2013 23:32

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhWesternWind · 26/07/2013 23:38

It is scarily similar Wine, it really is.

Should know mid/late August Nora.

KinNora · 26/07/2013 23:40

Well you know as ever OWW if I can be any help in supporting you or finding out the answers to anything, just give me a shout and I'll do whatever I can.

OhWesternWind · 26/07/2013 23:44

Thanks Nora - can't pm off my phone but will talk to you tomorrow if that's ok?

OhWesternWind · 26/07/2013 23:48

Punctuation has gone to shit. You can tell I'm not right.

Winefiend · 26/07/2013 23:51

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lurkinglorna · 26/07/2013 23:58

OWW hope you're alright, i can imagine it'll take some time to process this. sending good thoughts. Thanks keep on posting here.

winefiend there's a fetishist for every body condition out there, must be a "rashlovers.com" site or something Grin

Wisey hope you're not Envy but I'm sinking my teeth into one of THESE bad boys tonight. might finish the whole thing.

european hasn't texted today, not completely out of the ordinary but i'll do a situation review on monday if no contact before then. i am gagging for some COCK COCK COCK drinks and romance and interesting conversation. T might be joining you on the subs bench, we shall see! Smile

T2710 · 27/07/2013 02:16

Oww I'm glad you now know what's been up and that it's actually nothing to do with him not fancying you. He obviously thinks a lot of you to tell you and that's really considerate.

Mr lads hol has just randomly text me apologising for not being in touch until now and saying he wasn't sure what was happening between us which is maybe why he's left it so long, and if I've thought about it could I let him know otherwise we can have a chat about it on Monday.
It's seeming like there may have been a misunderstanding somewhere but we'll see.

Kirstywirsty · 27/07/2013 09:13

T I wondered if your 'are we seeing others' text before he went away may have suggested that YOU wanted to see others .. ?

Morning all!!

Date number 2 ( a month after date no 1) with FoF ... I am hoping now that I haven't built it up too much in my head and with messages etc and that I'm not going to turn up look at him and think 'meh'

( also hope he's not going to think I got chubby!!) Hmm

evuscha · 27/07/2013 09:31

Hello everyone! May I join you in the search for "the one"?

I have been single for over 3 years, no kids, therefore I have time to meet a lot of guys in real life (haven´t really done OD although giving it a brief go now as well)....however I am finding it impossible to meet someone for an actual genuine relationship! Last 2 guys were quite nice - the first one I dated before Christmas was perfect on paper but there was no chemistry, the second one I dated just now (and made a thread about it here) - with this one it turned out there was no ED, but when we talked, he admitted "he loves me but is not in love with me" and we could stay friends - we did one attempt at just a friendly date and despite his "thank you for a lovely evening" I haven´t heard from him again. (I can assume he didn´t like it when I removed the benefits out of the "friends with benefits" we were before)(and too bad for me for breaking rule nr. 2 mentioned in this thread)

So basically this is how it goes with me - I find it hard to meet someone I like in the first place, and guys seem to want me just for fun anyway. Is it something wrong with me or what I do? I don´t think I give impression that I am just after fun...I also thought I was reasonably confident (not overly confident but ok) but right now I am thinking I will stay here alone just with my cat forever Sad

Not sure why I am posting as I don´t have any questions really, but some cheering and support and motivation to hang in there would be nice :)

Kirstywirsty · 27/07/2013 09:44

evuscha welcome .. I think OD is good fun if you can follow the rules