Dating - The Thread. Come and Share Care and Cheer!

[AWarmFuzzyFuture]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. They should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop

and i don't think you're wrong for wanting a certain kind of guy or feeling - "the heart wants what the heart wants"?

i couldn't really date someone who i just "got on with and liked me and was eager to please". there's like a zillion of those guys out there

i think sometimes the message to women is you're actually meant to be "grateful" for having a nice guy who behaves decently, doesn't cheat, doesn't hit you and wants to be "in a relationship"?

and for me that's just fairly "basic normal behaviour standards", there has to be something about the guy or the connection beyond that.

Hey.. I want to join the you girls.. I've bee on quite a few dates as I have been on few online dating sites but I haven't met anybody I fancy.. It is really frustrating meeting people and after a few days telling them that it is not going to work..

I do like being single but I a starting to miss adult conversations and it'd be lovey to share a glass of wine when kid are in bed but I feel tuck.. Is there anybody for me out there..? And I dont know how to meet him as I decided that online dating is not really for me.. :(

hi eglute!

Hey :)

OWW, I think you should enjoy Alpha for what it is at the moment. I'm sure some sex would be nice, but isn't it nice being with him?

eglute how many dates did you go on? and how long have you been using OD?

personally i think there are other avenues for meeting people (meetup, friends of friends, activities - not greatest fan of the club scene but then i never am comfortable there) .

put yourself where you're genuinely interested and if its mixed you'll meet some prospects (but i wouldn't just "do things to meet men" as its a bit obvious?)

but in terms of getting actual dates i've found nothing more efficient than OD? take a break then get back on it if you're bored of it?

sometimes its easy to think "everyone is meeting someone they're attracted to" immediately with OD?

but for me its more like a slow process you just need to work for a bit? OD stats for me are out of 15-20 meets for one year (this is from LOTS of online contact) only about 3-4 exciting enough to pursue further (rest are "no attraction" or "not as attractive as profile" or "ok for a second meet or to fill up my dating card but not that attractive and a bit meh". and of course sometimes they feel the same about me!)

then of those maybe 1-2 will "take".

Hi all been lurking. So happy for you Bant and

things looking up somewhat. Met geeky City boy last week to see film and hit it off massively. He's very keen. So am I, though he seems a bit of a 'player' type. Worried when he sees me naked (scars etc after health issues) he'll run a mile but he's already said (by text) how much he likes me to get on with etc. So I am hoping he will not shriek and run- or shriek, shag and run? LOL even latter would be better as god knows i need to get laid

Also got attractive but dull German still emailing. Oh and 21 year old with mother fixation.

Phew! I have got to the end of the thread. Hi everyone, so much going on.

I hesitate to post as I really can name call everyone (yeah I am a disappointment to many) but I have been reading, cheering and commiserating with appropriate posts.

Special mention to Martini I won't add to all the good advice given, as I would just be reiterating the wisdom of the vipers. We'll hold your hand. Be gentle and kind in your thoughts about yourself, you didn't deserve this and did nothing wrong in any way whatsoever. xx

I've had a lot of RL (rubbish) stuff to deal with and am in lurking and (semi) sofa mode for now - still seeing the Labrador (Lab). Dumped him once as I felt he didn't really have time for me. He won me round, probably be shortlived though, he is too busy and I am not enough of a priority. He is lovely though. So I'll go along with things for now as sex is very good

Some of you are my facebook buddies...one of you may need to check her email (other) box. You are all bloody gorgeous, hitherto to be known as the nest of gorgeous vipers

Now, get out there and get yourself some yum yum!

Roarrrrr!

Sighs - excuse typos, see this is how you know it's the real Warm Fuzzy!

lol at "attractive but dull German" hostess

glad things are looking up, your dance card looks very exciting to me! (maybe not the 21 year old though )

Well I'm back in the UK for a short time, it's DS birthday in a couple of days, it felt odd not being here even thought he'll do his own thing. Dutch also had family visitors arrive to stay on a long standing arrangement and as I find that kind of thing overwhelming I'll stay home for a while.

Bant good one

Martini I hope you are doing ok

Eglute welcome!

ooh I'd love to be on FB with anyone who'd like. Especially London types and we can meet up for

I'm dithering with 21 year old, he is incredibly cute but the whole milf thing is so dully predictable :D

Does anyone else find there are a lot of attractive but dull germans on OKC- or do I just attract them???

Oh and young Marxist types (that one sent very needy email after 1 week saying 'should I go away and get the message'... hmm.

Have just read Martini's story so . It's a crying shame to feel you can't do anything about this. What a untypable word he is.

ah you are so welcoming and nice :) Thank you :)

About OD - I was on and off for about 6 mnths. Some guys I met became my friends but I do not want any friends anymore :) And it is not easy to meet someone when you have 2DC.

I will have a break and I will come back to OD later I guess.. Although it feels like BF shopping.. I find it very artificial..

Germans you say...WFF hurries to complete her half arsed OKC profile...I likes me a bit of German...no I won't state the bleeding obvious double entendre there . Why, oh why, didn't anyone mention this before? Twinny, did you know about this?!

WFF jumps off sofa and rushes into the throng of German men (hopefully)

How many would equal a quiver?

I think may be time to reinstate my email a day resolution...

ha ha well hostess my current interest isn't german but a stoic european. got him off POF. got his moments in person and i'm keen enough for now, but his texts put me to fucking sleep.

i actually reckon on balance i prefer someone quite dry and serious to a angsty hipster new man type, though? nothing worse than Mr. "i'm 40ish but i'm still....like....FUN cool and edgy"

that said, i once had a very stoic german date. in his hotel room, he stuck the porn channel on, pointed at one of the more dirty moves and said "why don't we try that?"

donner and blitzen!

then he cuddled afterwards. your german may surprise you yet!

Uh oh we all have a secret german crush it seems....shhhh.........

A bit of Danish was another very good episode for me, although I was recently disappointed by a norwegian. never had a french lover (yet).

WFF I am bloody swimming in Germans on there. Some polys tho which always irritates as i find it a bit, well, greedy...

I guess Eglute one can BF shop in real life too... people did at college I recall :D In my own case, due to life circumstances I would hardly meet anyone if I didn't go online. I know all 4 similar-age men at my work and I don't know many people locally as don't work near where I live.. it's the only way.. as I bloody hate night clubs.

The way I see it, it's fun and interesting (if somewhat irritating/depressing at times) and gives me something to do with my weekends even if I don't fall in lurve...

Having said that. Ahem. I think I've overinvested in Cityboy. He didn't reply to my last email after constant texts (almost) since date. I think he's very taken. Just don't want to put him off with my crappy sense of humour :D Bloody hell i must like this one. Gah.

hmm lorna Cityboy is a bit 40 cool and edgy but in very nice openly geeky way. We've bonded over crap TB no one else would consider watching (probably)

I do get a slight 'player' vibe tho.

German was very easygoing and handsome but not fun. He works all the time. And goes to Germany. And comes back. That's it. Guess I need to DTD though tbh to get the full picture.... your scenario sounds fun :D

crap TV
!!! hehehe.
That was quite a typo. No, as far as I know we are not both carrying new variant TB.

What ? I didn't know about the Germans Twinny - are they good ?

I get a load of earnest god bothering Americans on okc and men who want me to dominate them. Meh.

Hello Eglute and bravo, you big old peacocky Bant

hostess well they say interests in common are good!

They are wunderbar Twin at least the couple I've had, but then I have a good picker.

hostess re: cityboy the way you're feeling/dealing with it sounds fine to me!

i mean if you've picked a wedding dress or started leaving him crying bunny boilerish messages saying he's a bastard then maybe slow down a bit.

but for me going on a date and acknowledging to yourself and to him that you like him, whilst still keeping options open, is fine. wait and see now! you never know what going on in others lives. your emotions and feelings aren't wrong!

i reckon desire for its own sake, and thinking "yes, that was an amazing date" and going out with chaps you feel butterflies with or think you could, is worth it, rather than just going on endless "meh" dates with boring Nige from IT Support because its "easy".

ps no offence to anyone called Nige, its just the kind of guy i get socially "pushed" towards sometimes

You're like a heat seeking missile Twinny

(My arse is killing me and not sadly not because some assertive Northern Irishman has put me across his knee)