Dating - The Thread. Come and Share Care and Cheer!

[AWarmFuzzyFuture]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. They should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop

I'd read somewhere about a culture where men are expected to spend a night watching a woman sleep as proof of honour, or something. I think it may have been fiction though.

Thinking about it: 'I have a trustworthiness test - if you'll share a bed without expecting sex' may be a red herring. Maybe it's just her way of saying 'I'd like you to stay over tonight but no funny business, just cuddling' - which is a fairly common thing to say - it's been said to me before. Maybe just her phrasing of things. I kind of wish I'd done it now. I mailed her that, in fact, saying I like to think I could be trusted but to be honest couldn't guarantee it. A bit of integrity, a bit of blatant flattery.

Probably not going to see her for over a week now though as I've got a friend coming into town for a couple of days, then I'm back to the UK for a week with the DC..

Hey ho. International man of celibacy. Joy.

i find the 'let's see if you can be trusted' scenario a bit twee to be honest. If you want to have sex, then have sex. It sounds a tiny bit controlling.

I have a spy-profile. it isn't completed with a narrative and is hidden, so 'no-one' would be able to see if I had visited their profile. I've used it once in the last 6 months.

her way of saying 'I'd like you to stay over tonight but no funny business, just cuddling' - which is a fairly common thing to say

Fairly common? Really? Well, fuck me! No wonder I feel out of step with dating if that request isn't always considered just plain strange.

Apologies for no name checking and individual greetings. Its really great to see there is dating activity, even if some more successful than others. My time on the sofa doesn't look in any danger of being shortened. I don't think I've felt so meh about the prospects out there for a LONG time (and vice verse too ... apparently). I have a few days off from tomorrow so will have time to interact properly with thread. Till then

Oh ... and yes, of course, I have spy profiles. No on all sites, just one or two. They've always proved useful in sorting out the talkers from the walkers. Just a shame that they were needed ...

what is the point in 'just cuddling'
for me to put up with having someone stay a whole night in my place I'd need a much bigger incentive than just cuddling :o

(do men have spy profiles too )

Spy profile sounds interesting. So I can set up a blank one, without much info on it. Disguise my details, hide it, and then have a look at all the men on the site. Good idea

I have been known to stay overnight in the same bed as someone and just cuddle, mainly because it was just convenient to sleep in a proper bed, I hardly knew them and didn't want a ONS.

perhaps it's just me then, I hate any kind of co-sleeping, and cohabiting, I only like men who are happy to get up and go home after sex

Mercury, I have been similar in the past but one person put paid to that.

test

Sorry I've not been around for a while...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1811429-to-think-that-he-is-a-potential-rapist?msgid=40503799#40503799

Need some advice

On POF if you hide your profile then no one knows you've been looking at their profile ( I hope !!) no need for a separate one

maybe that will happen for me Scrazy, but, tbh i think i'm just too far gone now :o
oh well!

I quite like a bit of co-sleeping, although I'm fond of having the bed to myself these days. Getting up and going home afterwards makes me feel a bit odd. And precludes morning sex, which is usually my favourite.

Aruba might have not wanted the evening to end and to cuddle up with me because she misses the feel of a man in her bed, but also not wanted a ONS or to rush things, so didn't want to go the whole way. Or maybe she wanted to take me home for the night, and was trying to justify it as just for a cuddle. Who can say?

As it is, I quite fancied the idea of curling up with her for a while longer but was completely knackered so knew I'd fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, and no one is at their most attractive when they sleep. Dribbling, snoring and farting. And that's just her. It's probably less unattractive when you've DTD for the previous couple of hours and have all the oxytocin running through your system.

Well Bant, it sounds like her approach hasn't put you off, so I guess you just need to go with your gut and see how things pan out with her :). It does sound quite teasing and game-playing, but if you're both enjoying it, who cares? :)

Kirsty I thought that, even if you were hidden on POF, people could still see your profile through their "Viewed Me" page? I think your profile is only hidden from searches, although I could be wrong.

Thanks OWW for the well wishes, weather has caved big time so we now won't be walking on the beach , currently formulating a plan B involving coffee and cake

Martini I can't find your other thread, will have a look on my laptop instead of iPad... Hope you're getting lots of good advice there

Django - I don't think she was playing games as in toying with me, I think she wanted to cuddle up for the night but wanted to not DTD, or at least to not go to bed with the intention of DTD (people can justify anything, like "I wasn't 'easy' last night, we just got swept up in the moment" - especially in a very conservative country like this)

Aruba just mailed me and mentioned the general conservativeness of Hungarian women - especially those with Swiss governesses. I get the strong impression her family is remarkably wealthy. Anyway I've told her I can stay at hers tonight and be trusted. Let's see if she can be trusted to keep her hands off me too.

Hi everyone

Well I thought I would pop in to update I have had two dates this week. Well kind of

First date was with mr rich (not sure if anyone remembers him) went to the park to sunbathe and we had lunch in subway in the end! That wasn't really what I thought would happen when he said he would treat me to lunch. anyway not a bad day but conversation didn't seem to flow to well. And I have decided I'm not into him and happy to be friends.

Hello everyone, will post properly later but I just saw this and thought those of you who've not seen it might find it funny - seems fairly SFW Buzzfeed, people who should have their dating privileges revoked

meant to be w**king will catch up later...

but KinNora i am PISSING myself with laughter

can i just say No. 24 on that list, I'd love my daughter to go out with a guy like that?

I am No. 20.

So now you all know...

Kin, that's brilliant! Pity the poor daters who come across them in real life tilts head

collect 30 men for a date, and play the hunger games, winefiend. darwinism in action.