Dating - The Thread. Come and Share Care and Cheer!

[AWarmFuzzyFuture]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. They should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop

ah, for me its the thoughtfulness though bant

the european has seen me come on my bike/walk every time we've met (which i don't resent, btw, making the effort is a good thing and my thighs are steel!)

and we've had the conversation on "why i don't take public transport or run a car and why i'd rather gear our activities to free/low key stuff due to costs of moving soon"?

if he wanted someone who wasn't socialising on a student budget, then fair play but should pursue a fellow corporate type, but he likes me (or appears to)!

and invite at 7.30pm, cinema at 8.30pm?

so "given time" to shower/change and cycle in, then insisting on getting to the cinema EXACTLY on time?

if he was that keen on personally seeing and getting to that particular performance of that particular film, should have suggested drinks afterwards, not something which could be screwed up by me on my bike being a little bit late!

for me, a spontaneous suggestion is only romantic if both of you are going to enjoy it, not just something presented with an air of "well i'm terribly busy and am a bit particular about doing X, so you have to come along to suit ME!" or you can present a spontaneous suggestion, but understand that the other person might have to rush a bit!

sure he's busy, but i've dated/been partnered up with far busier and they seem to be able to manage better notice?

(or who knows, maybe I'm just not that keen on him and looking for an excuse to get out? its hard to tell in the heat of the moment!

interestingly enough i'm quite enjoying the tension at the moment, makes it a bit more passionate!)

(bonne chance with Aruba date tomorrow btw!)

ah no, of course i didn't mention a cab fare directly to him, that would be fairly socially weird

but mentioned, as that's often a technique i've seen used by guys working crazy hours to make "odd last minute dating hours" a bit more convenient for their date? as well as avoiding the sweaty bike look in their beloved

eg ex was military so a lot of strange hours and locations and chopping and changing plans?

it's fairly common for guys in that role to know that if their women have to go to meet them in some weird hotel on the A303 at the last minute, to volunteer to cover travel costs so she can say "yes" with no hesitation and turn up not looking bedraggled having taken out a second mortgage!

But Lorna it wasn't a hotel in the middle of nowhere, it was the cinema at 7.30. I can see why he's confused at your reaction to be honest, but as you say, it sounds like you're looking at ways to end it or add drama?

Well, developments this morning - Alpha's invited himself over to mine tonight for a cup of tea as he's planning on taking his bike out . . . Children will be in (and in bed I hope) of course but this is seeming quite positive, a move towards something more informal and with potential for snoggage if children are asleep . Did a bit of cleaning at weekend but aargh will need to have a good sort out tonight so of course he will turn up a bit early and find me pink in the face brandishing a floor wipe . . .

I think I'd have just said I couldn't make it rather than rush round with an hour's notice Lorna. Maybe he just wasn't thinking things through - I wouldn't have taken this as being off but I can see your point that it would have been nice if he'd offered a lift. Are you still meeting up with him tonight?

OWW am delurking to wish you good luck tonight. Are you still going out for dinner as well or is that another night? I think you might have to throw yourself at him to get him to take the hint but I really hope he has got the message by now. Sometimes the slow burners do work out well in the end and the sex turns out to be well worth waiting for . I hope that's the case for you and Alpha.

As you were...

Oh sorry Raen I typed a long reply last night on my phone but somehow didn't manage to post it . . . I wonder if this torturously slow approach is accepted etiquette for men that age? (Having said that, Weekend Builder is the same age and was certainly not backward at coming forward). I've been seeing Alpha for six weeks or so, date seven coming up so I would have expected a little more progress by now.

I had the same kissing thing with Alpha, got it sorted end of date three by dint of wrist-flashing and getting him to give me a lift home. He is nicely enthusiastic, likes holding hands and walking with his arm round me and stuff like that, all the "romantic" stuff I guess, just need to move on to the sex stuff! Maybe you could sit right up next to him next time and see what happens? At least you've got into his house

Dinner on Friday as well I think ChooChoo! Fingers crossed you are right, and he's worth the wait I really like him, hence all the hanging around, so I really hope it will all work out.

Hope the DCs behave and don't decide to stay up really late tonight!

Have got everything crossed for you OWW.

Great news OWW, and he'll be giving off those exercise pheromones mentioned up thread!

Getting slightly tingly about date tonight. Lots of contact, but not overbearing, flirty but not pushy. I have to keep reminding myself we haven't met yet - and he's only 5ft 6

SS he's sounding good for tonight, fingers crossed for you that it all translates into a bit of a spark. Loo update is a must!

OWW - hopefully Alpha will be a bit less backward in coming forward
Service - tingles are good - did he tell you recently how tall he is or was he upfront about it on his dating profile?

Aruba said she's going to pack some food and CDs and we'll do some sight-seeing by car. She's a somewhat scary driver, and I don't have any CDs here (just my iPhone) so I'm concerned it's going to be frantically clinging on to the Jesus handles while listening to Craig David all the way..

But.. it should be nice. She said she might wear her bikini as it's 40 degrees here.

And CheshireCat just popped up, after not speaking to her in weeks, asking if I'm going to a thing tonight so I could see her. I told her no as I'm going to a picnic, and she seemed quite taken aback..

Ah well, she can't play the 'just friends' card, or at least not kiss me the first 4 times I've walked her home and then get surprised when I go on a date with someone else, no matter how attractive she is.

Adrenaline is an aphrodisiac Bant, have fun. And well played with Cheshire Cat!

Bant picnic sounds lovely! Can you somehow secrete your iPod earphones in when the easy listening becomes anything but

I can't remember if he was upfront on his profile, and for some reason I can't seem to get back on to Smooch (dreadful name!) - but he did tell me in our first call. Joked about liking a woman he could look up to in heels!

But it's not an issue really - just looking for something to focus my inner insouciance on!

Crikey this thread moves fast! Thanks for the advice I think maybe I'll let it rumble on for a little longer. I may be in his neck of the woods in 10 days time and fancy a roll in the hay... I'll try and pay more attention to all your shennanigans and have something more useful to contribute in a bit...

bikini picnic bant! dont forget your speedos!

Bant I can just imagine you careering round the sights of Budapest in a kamikaze fashion with an eccentric Hungarian in a bikini at the wheel, all to the dulcet tones of George Michael . . . Should be great fun. You'll have to be very careful not to appear over-dressed.

I always appear overdressed here. I'm the only person in the office who owns cufflinks. I've seen maybe 10 men in suits in all of the city in the last month.

Tonight though, I'll be Chilled Bant. Not too suave, not too formal.

If she ever confirms what time she's bloody picking me up, that is.

Joblot sorry missed your post earlier about your date. Mutual keen-ness can only be a good thing!

Pony did you get anything else sorted with the Faffer? Or was it just more faffing?

Sorry, keep missing things as I am dipping in and out and having problems posting from my phone for some reason!

Hello hello, been a busy few days, have only really managed to skim read and not post myself.

Hey OWW - Faffer is still faffing. I am ashamed to say I still haven't had that 'conversation' with him - because I thought we were going to speak on the phone Monday eve, so I decided to speak to him in person. But it never happened - his on (7) wouldn't settle. Same happened last night. Tonight and tomorrow I have friends over in the evening, and he's away for the weekend. Now it kind of feels weird to be saying that to him on email, three days later, when we've already had other emails go back and forth without it being mentioned. But the dinner date also hasn't been mentioned. I wonder if he's in the right place for me right now - he's having problems with his son, that takes up a lot of his evening (and his head, I'd think). My last relationship was abusive, so I'm looking for few complications than I think he offers. If we ever manage to speak on the phone, I might say this. or I might bottle it

Good luck tonight Bant!

I have done something a bit stupid...I went on a date on Sunday evening with a very handsome chap. Lots of chemistry. He did talk a lot but was a laugh. I ended up sleeping with him as was a bit tipsy. I have broken all of my dating rules!
He has been texting me and we are meeting again but he seems quite interested in having more sex with me. Will this only ever be about sex now?

Hi all, back from a weekend away with the DCs and trying to catch up with you all.... Dates for Bant, OWW and Secret this eve I see - enjoy and hope all goes your way! And same to anyone else heading out (or having someone in ).

I may need the carp. Have a first date with nice man (the one I accidentally texted instead of my best friend, listing his qualities...) tomorrow eve and I feel quite giddy about it! I shall call him Mr Orange. Daily contact via text, all very good, no smut or inappropriate shiz... And I think he feels a bit giddy about it too. I've broken out in a rash (which I never do!), and all my nails are breaking. God only knows what a state I'll turn up in tomorrow! Have to remember I haven't actually met him yet and may not fancy him at all... And vice versa

Thanks to the wonderful book recommendation (was it from Title?) of Mr Unavailable and the Fallback girl, I've ditched the other two guys I had on the go - I've learned so much in a week! But it does mean that Mr Orange is not for me, I've no back up options and it will be back to the drawing board...

Still, basking in the happy anticipation while it lasts . to you all!

Pony sounds like you're not all that keen - do the problems with his son seem like a long-term issue or just children playing up? Mine have been awful recently, very tired from school and just getting into holiday mode. Hopefully this will pass soon. But if you just don't think he's right, that's fine but better to let him know soon. Otherwise I'd wait til dinner is mentioned then nip the first suspicion of faffing in the bud.

Superstar it could turn into something else, of course it could, but he will be interested in more sex seeing as thats how you've started off. Are you happy with this? Just because you've done it once doesnt mean you have to again if you dont want to. Do you want it to turn into something more long-term?

Well Alpha's not getting his bike out tonight as it's raining so no visit. Bit disappointed but it was a nice idea and can happen another time. Still seeing him Friday.

A bit of rain? A BIT OF RAIN HAS STOPPED HIM FROM SEEING YOU?! What? Will he melt? He should be wading chest-deep through snow drifts to spend time with you.

Grrrr!

OWW is it a pushbike or motorbike and how far does he have to come?

It's a motorbike - he was going to have a ride this evening and drop in to see me en route, rather than coming specifically to see me. Not fussed, it was a spur of the moment plan this morning when he was thinking he'd get his bike out and spend a nice summer's evening cruising the badlands of the northwest, now it's not happening but it's not a big deal, v casual arrangement. Would be pissed off if he cancelled a date but that's different.