Dating - The Thread. Come and Share Care and Cheer!

[AWarmFuzzyFuture]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. They should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop

ha ha i gave a USB stick on 2nd/3rd date with loads of songs to a very conservative stoic naval officer who was courting me! he liked me still (although that said, he never mentioned any of the music )

i guess i don't see the point of having a lover if you're gonna be on emotional tenterhooks and self conscious or on "best behaviour" all the time? show them who you are and show up as yourself?

sure you don't want to come on too strong or invade their personal space, but just sharing some interests is fine? i mean passing on some music is nice if thats your style, demanding they give up a weekend and hundreds of quid to come with you to an obscure concert as proof of their affection is not ok? i still have lots of music, books, that friends/dates recommended me.

Lorna - I agree, you want to be yourself with your lover, share interests, all that stuff. I've done it myself - mix tapes, CDs, written poetry. But never to someone I've only met twice.

If Aruba had sent me one email with a link to a favourite song, that would be okay, even if I didn't like the song. It's just that I opened my email inbox this morning and there were 5 new mails waiting from her, and 3 yesterday morning. It's just a bit too full on, too quickly.

I mean, I know I'm wonderful and all :) but it's just making me more cautious than I would be otherwise

it's not so much enthusiasm that makes me
it's more one sided-ness...not seeing any need to adjust the level of contact to suit the other persons style

I think you should mail some links back Bant in a counter-George Michael campaign - something loud with interesting lyrics. How about "Can God Fill Teeth?" by Lard as an opening shot?

yes! send her Nine Inch Nails, 'closer'. That'll see her off! (unless 'SA' does stand for 'sexually agressive'

OWW and Snape

If anyone was wondering what he's up to these days (Craig David, that is) - he's playing music festivals in Hungary... Aruba proudly showed me the iPhone recording she'd made when she went to it at the weekend.

I am now on a local sim so have 3G on the water. One word.

Cupping.

As you were

Oh dear. Sorting out time to see Alpha - he is nicely keen to see me tomorrow (tick) but goes on to say he's looking forward to "a nice dinner and a chat" and also bats back my suggestion that we go out near his (with a view to getting a bit of action back at his later) saying its easier for him to drive because of children/babysitter. Which it is, but he is just not getting it and therefore neither am I Thought I'd spelled it out pretty clearly but it's just not happening.

Just had row with horrible fighting dc, fed up about LM - no idea why he got back in touch if he was just going to fade back into the shadows so quickly and easily - and now obviously I am just someone to have a nice chat with to Alpha. I sodding well give up, fed up with it all.

OWW is it time to come straight out with it and tell Alpha your concerns about his, um, abilities?! I'm feeling your frustration!

I had a date at the weekend, went well, liked him, think he liked me. We were trying to meet up again this week, but not free on same evening (really) so leaving it til next week, which is fine...but he has stopped texting altogether, which is not fine in my head! Am currently managing to resist the urge to send him links to easy listening tunes ;)...but also cursing my phone...text me you bastard!

OWW my lovely unless you have said, and I paraphrase, 'do you fancy a bit of how's your father' then you haven't spelt it out. However, you have hinted strongly and for him to ignore or not get any further hints is off putting so I think you're going to have to have a chat about it.

One thing, do you want his pants off because you're gagging for it, for him, or to prove something? Initially I mean, of course it's probably the first and last by now

Is Bant out with the Sperm Acquirer tonight or is that tomorrow?

and just because

mmmmm...sorry to hear about Alpha etc OWW.

any thoughts on maybe looking for other options?

don't take it personally, you know i'm convinced its actually a lot harder to find a "good and enthusiastic lover" than it is to find someone to say they're your boyfriend/partner?

even in my uber hot years it wasn't hard to find men to go on DATES with who wanted to socialise, buy me dinner, incorporate me into their lives, introduce me to their chums and get me on the marriage track, but actual good, connected sex with someone who is masculine and knows what they are doing is a lot harder to find!

how'd you get the crown juliette?

CONGRATULATIONS KATE AND WILL

i'd keep on getting the risottos with alpha and get some other interests in