Waves is winning.....Here comes the Acrobat!

[wavesandsmiles]

Links to previous threads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1670597-So-DH-said

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1745551-DH-said-DH-left-waves-is-still-being-sick-but-into-the-third-timester

Will this become the live birth thread? Will Lodger 1 leave? Will waves be smiling throughout this thread?

Doula is on call, bags are packed, acrobat was a teeny 14 weeks foetus when I started posting - he is about to become DC3, I'll stop being sick and a whole new chapter will begin.

He is a vile, vile man. What he's just done must remind you of how careless about you he is, what a selfish twunt he is, what a horrible influence he is.

Stupid too.

Waves, so sorry. for you. You are worth so much more than he is.

Bloody hell, waves! Obviously you should not respond to his text, and you should not allow him at the birth either,but my response to such a text would consist of two words, the second of which would be 'off'.

Your Acrobat will be better off without this man in his life, limit his presences as much as you can. Am thinking of you.

Yes, some things and people never change, like him. You have shown yourself throughout to be the better person in all this, you have done NOTHING wrong and he has done EVERYTHING wrong. It's not you who needs to change, it's him. But he's a twunt, so he won't, and your little Acrobat is going to have a lovely life and a lovely family with you and your delightful DCs. Twunt should be bloody grateful you even told him about the contractions, many people wouldn't even have done that. You're thinking of Acrobat and Twunt is thinking of himself. Therefore, Waves>Twunt. (That's basically maths, and you can't argue with maths.)

Thinking of you here and hoping for a speedy and easy labour for you very very soon!

The DCs had super noodles for tea

I am in a lot of pain now, with contractions but also now like a permanent lower back kidney type pain. Have asked them to do the dishes but they are being a bit grumpy.

Keep crying and not sure if it is the pain or twunt or just general emotional overwroughtness. I still have to make packed lunches and put the bedding back on my bed but I genuinely don't think I can.

I did reply to twunt. I said "you are an utter twat for sending that text".

I hope he infers from that that he is uninvited from any part of the birth process, that I have seen his most recent words and gestures for the lies they are and seen the extent of his utter self consumption, selfishness and deceit.

I am going to download one more song to my phone for my labour playlist inspired by your name lucy (assuming it is from Narnia?) me and my dad loved reading and afterwards watching it, and now the DCs and I love reading the books and reading the bbc t series. I'm hoping to find the theme tune.

This hurts ever such a lot....

{hug}

Tell your kids they need to help Mummy. I just was totally disrespected by my son so feel free to ignore that crap piece of advice.

The hurting means things are happening - which means progress!
(I'm trying to turn it into a positive!)
You can do it, waves!

It is indeed from Narnia I'm glad it will on your playlist!

Super noodles are the dinner of champions. Can you send a note with the DC to school tomorrow saying your labour is imminent and can they have school dinners for the day? The school will definitely have enough food to feed two extra mouths, and I'm sure they'll understand! Then it's just the bed, and you can get the DC to do the pillow cases and duvet while you do the sheet. My brothers and I used to have great fun 'helping' in that way, we'd button one person into the duvet cover, wrap them up, and they'd have to untangle themselves and get out. (Probably not very safe so maybe don't encourage that!)

Good luck waves - and well done on sending that reply! He shouldn't be anywhere near you for the forthcoming. He;ll just bring stress.

I hope everything goes well for you and that horrible sickness goes away, 9 months of it, you are a Trojan. Just make sure that you don't feel like you should let him attend the birth if deep down you dont want him there. When I had DC 14 years ago I was separated from abusive EXH. I thought he should be present at the birth even though he was useless and absent for most of pregnancy. When he ever came by it was all about him and he generally left after making me feel utterly crap. I didn't want him there for me but thought like you that my son should have him there despite everything.

I don't dwell on it these days but it was a very big mistake having him in the labour room. I gave birth to the loveliest little boy in record quick time so always have that memory. However to this day when conversations come around amongst friends about labour experiences I remember him being an entitled prick chatting away to the midwives like he was the best dad in the world & holding the baby looking like he was a loving attentive dad. Nothing could be further from the truth. He still is a totally selfish prick to this day & DCS even accept that fact now that they are 16 and 14.

I honestly don't lose sleep about it at all but this thread reminds me of the regret that I had allowed him to be there and contaminate a completely joyous moment for me seeing my gorgeous baby. I know I am biased but he was drop dead gorgeous. Still is - when he is asleep! DS has never enquired whether his father was present or not. Best of luck, lots of mums encouraging you from afar.

Good luck again Waves you are an inspirational woman. No negative thoughts or people just positive thoughts from us mumsnetters

Good luck sweetheart - it does sound like Pre labour but also a bus suspiciously like a UTI brewing - I'd advise you to take an MSU up to the hospital or GP in the morning just in case.

Oh and by the way - he is an utter utter bastard - there I've said it!!

oh - so wish i was closer so I could make the DC their pack lunch and make your bed for you. Any chance your nice lodger would give you a hand.

I second MSU for hospital - and any chance you are having back labour? I had never heard of it until my friend had her contractions that way!

Take it easy, hope DD is feeling better, nothing wrong with super noodles now and again.

And again, twunt is a bastard, Ive said it previously, but he is the biggest fucker on earth.

Thank you everyone for the general encouragement and positive thoughts being sent this way

themidwife I am due up at hospital as usual first thing tomorrow, so will take a MSU with me and see what they say.

whitesugar thank you for sharing your experience. It made me realise that I cannot imagine anything WORSE than twunt playing the doting dad in the delivery suite, and making me feel even worse. I don't owe him anything at all so I think I am going to stand my ground and ensure that he is not there to detract from the process, and spoil my memories.

Going to see if a warm bath helps now. Earlier on I went in the (deep) paddling pool with the DCs - they have an inflatable ring thing and so even though I am not allowed to get my PICC line wet, I decided to risk it and sat in it. The water was really quite chilly and I laughed and laughed as DS pulled me round in the ring. He said

"I haven't heard you laugh in ages mummy"

It's true I have simply been surviving for months and months, and trying to make sure they are happy and having fun, but I haven't at all been having fun. They were both so pleased to see me smiling and hear me laughing, although they were not so happy that I didn't stay in long, but I had to try to be a bit sensible re the line.

I hope that I find my laugh again on a more regular basis soon.

JaxTeller - cross posted with you (it is taking AGES to type messages through the owwwing) Will def take the MSU, and maybe just ask them to have a general look and see what they reckon is going on.

DS helped with my bed, now going to try packed lunches, and give up and wait til the morning if it is too much effort!

Some things and some people never change.

No, and he's still a piece of human filth who pollutes everything and everyone he encounters. (Yeah twunt, that's you. We all know you're reading this, because you're a creepy little clammy-handed weirdo, and have absolutely no shame.)

I had a 3 day latent stage, Waves, and on the plus side it can make labour a lot easier when it becomes more intense, because the cervix has thinned so much by all these early contractions. Do you have a TENS machine, as I found it helped? And the other - rather gross! - thing: my DS was really low down and peeing started to really hurt as a result, and I found getting on all fours and peeing over an old ice cream tub meant he dropped into the bump, away from my bladder - and so it was painless. I don't know if that's an issue for you or not, but I thought I'd say as the relief of being able to pee painlessly was incredible!

I'd be really wary about allowing him anywhere near the birth, if you look at how he's been when you were at your most vulnerable in the past. He's a leech, and like all parasites will attach himself by all and any means he can find, now he's learned he has few rights but serious monetary obligations. And there are few times a woman is more vulnerable.

Acrobat is almost here - so exciting!

You are an amazing lady, about to do an amazing thing.
Acrobat is one lucky little boy to have you, DD and DS ( not to mention the hundreds of mumsnet aunties lurking :) )

Hey Waves! Sending all good wishes for the happy, calm and safe arrival in the world of your dear little acrobat.

If you want a calm labour, then do not even entertain the idea of having that man with you. He always upsets you and he will prevent the calm you so wish for...

He won't be at the birth because you are not together anymore. Simple. Nothing to do with banning him.

Delurking to say that I think you have done marvellously, and best of luck.

It's a pleasure to share experience, it's the first time I ever have told anyone. You will get hours of laughs when that little boy arrives & thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread, which you are. He will bring lots of laughs to your DCS, they will adore him & will be a great help to you. You are very lucky.

You know that whitesugar is right and he will be there flirting with the midwives and wanting his picture taken for Facebook, he might even think he has the right to comment on the name. Don't invite him he's still a bastard he'll always be a bastard and gorgeous little acrobat doesn't need him anywhere near him in the early part of his life ?he just needs his amazing mum and doting big brother and sister.

Good luck you amazing woman.

Your children always come across as lovely (even when you talk about them being grumpy!)...may their memories of Summer '13 be happy, full of laughter & squishy cuddles with Acrobat

So, so glad L1 is out of your life, so sorry that twunt is being a twunt. I know it's the 'right' thing to do to extend the olive branch & offer him being at the birth but I'm glad you're not going to have him there. He threw that chance away when he started all this mess.

Hope the bath has helped, agogo here! x

You know, I'm properly excited for you? Your gorgeous little baby is almost here!

Bit embarrassed to admit I'm a long time lurker de-lurking..... but I've followed for ages and been inspired every step.
On the birth thing: partners are there to support you. If you don't need that support, then fuck him. You're not putting on a private performance, so now is the time to do things exactly how you want too.

(But can I be very a bit excited??)

Sounds like you'll soon be holding acrobat in your arms. Really excited for you . Thinking of you and hope all goes well. x