Going to be a Grandma, don't know whether to weep for joy or regret

[GrandmaWeLoveYou]

Have NC for this.
It's a bolt from the blue.

DS (23) announced yesterday to his Father that his Girlfriend (of 3 years) is pregnant.
DH gave me this news this morning at breakfast.

Both of them are at Uni therefore not financially independant and DH has decided that we will fund them both for next 2 years until DS has qualified.

They've got it all sorted.

It's like history repeating itself only we were financially stable when our happy accident (DS) happened.

I've spoken to DS who said it was an accident. In this day and age accidents don't happen do they?

I don't know whether to jump for joy or cry my eyes out.
They had all the time in the world to have kids.
This is life changing stuff.

Can't help but think they've left it this long (3 months) to tell us because over here that's the cut off for abortion.

My beautiful boy is going to be a father before he's had time to really enjoy life and girlfriend will be a mother at 23 (i find 23 year olds in general lacking the maturity my generation had)

I sound like an awful person i know. I'm sure once the baby's here i'll be overjoyed, but for the moment feel raw and sad.

Please give me reassurance.

CheerfulYank ILs don't need To be religious To do seperate rooms, OH and had been living together for there months when his mother moved other family members around To put us in seperate rooms. And they don't attend church.

Grandma yes, bolting the stable door after the horse has bolted. Try not To worry about tomorrow, just concentrate on the food and wine and supporting the two love birds as they break their news.

In this day and age accidents don't happen do they?

Well actually, yeah they do. No contraceptive is 100% effective.

i find 23 year olds in general lacking the maturity my generation had My niece is 24, she has a 5yr old & 1yr old. One some levels she is more patient parent than I am (almost 40, 2 kids) and certainly taught me a thing or 2! Don't be so judgemental!

Hope today goes well for you all Grandma.

You are in my thoughts.

Jacaqueen Thankyou so much for your kind thoughts.

All food is prepared, table is laid and booze out.

Have this morning 2 DSs nursing raging hangovers, what a delight.

DS 4 has been sulking because he wants to go to football barbeque and his brothers haven't even surfaced yet.

Shall now go and prise them out of bed and wave them off for the afternoon.

I'm shaking like a leaf.

So stupid but i want to make a good impression (met them a few times already so it's probably too late!)

DH working all morning and has promised to be home before they arrive.
He always does this, guests arrive and i'm alone like Billy no mates!

Going to have a crafty fag to calm my nerves.

Fingers crossed that all goes well.

BellEndTent Fri 12-Jul-13 22:53:33
^Am I missing something?
They are 23, not 13. Not yet having finished uni and being established financially is a pain in the arse but aside from that, what's the problem?
Congratulations granny!^

I'll second that. Congratulations, Grandma! You have misgivings now but they will surely vanish when the baby arrives. Of course you are concerned about your children's future, what mother wouldn't be? But overall you are being positive with the help of the majority of the posts above, and that has to be good.

Many in every generation think the next is lazy and immature. One of the earliest writings we have is an Ancient Babylonian man complaining about his son and his generation's laziness. But things have gone on.

Hope the best for your and your in-laws. I wonder if we gave ours similar scares, in-laws were nice though I know my mother didn't approve of me having any kids at all (At 23, we had our third child, two while I was in Uni, and now have 4, so we're pretty much trashed her goals for me). We've still done pretty much everything we've wanted, our careers may be on a slower path comparably but we've still done so much as will yours. Children can very much be part of enjoying life.

Oh good luck... You know what, from what you've written here, I'd be really happy to welcome you into part of our extended family. Ok my child is 3 so a bit of a way to go, but you sound caring, involved, and your ds s girlfriend sounds like she bonds with you... Everything id want for my child.

Hope everything is going well today for you

Good luck! :)

Thank you grandma, that's kind of you to say :) you sound like you'll be a fantastic gran, your son and DIL are very lucky to have you :) best of luck for today, hope it's going well!

You and your husband sound great, really hope today goes well.

Well, that's it.

All went relatively well (no blood spilt).

My DS came in, gave me a hug and said "sorry", that set me off weeping.
No apologies required, accidents happen and as far as accidents go this is a happy one. (my new hourly mantra!)

DIL is an angel, she looks very fragile at the moment. She's scared and ashamed.

DH and I were very good, stepped back even during the digs DS kept recieving from his FIL. (not an easy thing to do)

Parents in law are considerably older than us and have a very old fashioned take on the situation.
I can almost understand them if i put myself in their shoes.

They feel ashamed of the situation. They live in a world where illegitimate pregnancy is a mortal sin.
We don't share these views, infact this aspect had not crossed our minds.

Much was discussed.....marriage, finances, continued study..........

I did contribute to the conversation as did DH, but we encouraged an atmosphere of celebration and eager anticipation. (we probably looked like a pair of loons!)

Anyway the PIL have now gone home (phew) and DS and DIL have told my Father and MIL the good news.
Both were delighted (the older generation never ceases to amaze me!).

Our 3 other DSs have been told and are pretty non plussed but are at least feigning interest!

We've got the green light to tell the world, so ladies.........

I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDMA

(I'll be married to a Grandfather )

yay, I'm glad it went so well for you (though not so well for your DIL by the sounds of it).

Just seen this thread - so pleased it went well - CONGRATULATIONS!!

(Although it does sound like you're married to an old man when you call him Grandad!! )

Poor, poor DIL is over 3 months pregnant, it's a raging 30 degrees here.

Her parents (Father) are making her feel like some scarlet woman and my DS feel like some sex pest.

They're staying here for the next 2 days, her parents are away on holiday from Monday.

It's a fait accomplis, the parents will come to terms with things, they have no choice.

They should have told us a long time ago. The pair of them have been brooding over this for over 2 months (that can't be good).

DIL needs comforting and DH and I can do that while they're here.
Her mother also needs to come round to the idea (and defy her bullish husband) and look after her daughter.
(The mother is very subserviant and wouldn't say boo to a goose.)

Must say that DS has definately "grown a pair" (!!) and is doing a great job.
Feel a bit guilty of all the "he's immature" guff i spouted over the past 2 days.

onedev He is an old man, he'll be 53 soon !!!(whereas i am a nubile 40 something!)

No need to feel guilty - you were worried, that's all. FWIW, it's 30 degrees where we are in the UK today too but likely you guys will have air conditioning!

onedev No air con here , didn't you know it gives you TB?! (MIL's words of wisdom!)

Haha! Sounds like its time for wine (or gin!!). Congrats again

Congrats.

My mother did all this "Oh, but you haven't finished X and you haven't done Y" guff when I got pregnant at 25. This was despite my having already received my first degree, worked overseas for four years and travelled the world.

I was terribly pissed off that she managed to make it a bit of a drama about herself and her wants and wishes at a time when my husband and I were simply delighted.

It's not about you.

Whoops, just saw update, sorry OP.

Sounds as though you are reacting nicely.

onedev Definately time for gin!
lechayim/cheers !

Aah, thanks for updates, congrats! Sounds like DIL's parents could do with a few gins on their holiday!

Dozer They need more than gin !!

All boys and DIL off (once again) to football club for barbeque!
I'm sure that place is an illegal lap dancing emporium! They seem to spend their lives there! (and DH for that matter )

Shall just be me and DH at home this evening.......bliss.

I shall drink more gin and lie on the sofa and contemplate my navel!

MIL sent text earlier saying shall she and my Father come for dinner tomorrow?
Mein gott im himmel, if i ever needed an example of how to be a pushy MIL, i've got one there!

She and my Father are thick as thieves, they're incredible! (but that's a whole other thread)

Needless to say, i said yes. Such a pushover.

(I'm pissed)