Dating thread 58 everyone welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

oww I think a lot of us are a bit worried about making unwanted moved that we sometimes don't actually make wanted moves quickly enough. I'm certainly a bit like that.

In other news, and I know I need a telling off, moon girl is back in touch. Some flirty text and she's apparently coming round to mine for dinner on Saturday. I'm cooking. Now, given the last couple of pages on what this might mean I'm playing safe on two counts. Firstly, assuming dinner means food, and secondly remembering its moon girl so buying nothing until the last minute!

Haha Bill don't make any assumptions about dinner/Dinner! Hope it all goes well.

Should I be a bit more explicit with Alpha about it being Dinner with a capital D, then?

Bant your opinion would be appreciated, I will pm my user names. Thank you.

I shall make more effort on okc, I think the points made by bant and juliette are fair. Pof is making me feel dirty, I just don't have anything in common with the women who are interested in me.

I feel better for getting this out, was starting to feel like a freak. I worry however that I've upped my standards/become a snob. My lip curls with alarming regularity when reading profiles.

What about saying something about it not really being about the dinner, anything food wise is fine, it's more about the company and the house to yourselves. Even I couldn't fail to get the meaning of that..

I'm not sure what would surprise me more about moon girl. If dinner was actually Dinner, or if she just actually turned up!

That sounds good Bill and I won't feel pushy saying something like that (whereas I couldn't quite pull off a Buffy-style come-on). Will take that tack if I get the chance, waiting to see what he comes back with as last night I said it was up to him what he wanted to do on Thursday after becoming a little exasperated with herb-related faffing.

Oww hop herb related faffing ceases. Did I just write that?! FP landed a cheek kiss on my lips but wasn't sure if that was a miss or not haha so think will end up in same boat - ie enjoying slow right now but won't for much longer!

job pof is pretty grim but lots of people.. I am very picky on there.

secret glad Chablis had desired effect in the end hope it has lasted

Think might give telegraph dating a go next as am close to a big city .. Or match. But am half on the sofa really...

title love your inappropriate texts admission oh what the hell sometimes eh?!

OWW there is nothing to feel put off about, you haven't said anything except invited yourself for dinner.

Maybe I'm out of kilter here but If im asked for dinner would assume dinner and if I sniffed an assumption about sex I would be seriously pissed off. Don't write him off, he's done nothing wrong except the faffing. He may surprise you, he may be planning a big thing and out buying new sheets. If, on Thursday you've stuck your knickers on the table and he still doesn't make a move then you can worry

You see, I was more on the Bant wavelength about meaning Dinner whereas perhaps he's more of a dinner man. I don't even necessarily want to get him straight into bed although I wouldn't say no but things do need to move along a bit from where they are now and this can't happen unless we get over to his . . .

Anyway, I know he hasn't done anything wrong really, I am just the wrong way out at the moment and getting het up about nonsense for silly reasons. But I think Bant and Nora should have taken me up on my bet . . .

He is down south again this weekend, not for work but he needs to go and get his other bike up. There seems to be an awful lot of going back for weekends, hmm almost like working away in the week and going back home at weekends. Now this is something that is ringing possible alarm bells, not sure what the ex situation is and whether that's relevant here. I think he has been away every weekend bar one since I've met him, some for work and some not. Bit odd. Could explain a lot.

OWW I, as always, agree with Juliette!

You invited yourself to his for dinner. He said yes, please, and then panics about his culinary skills because he wants to impress you.

You said dinner, he's taken at face value because he's a good man who does not assume that laydees always say one thing and mean another.
Look forward to Thursday, plan your best knickers, and stop worrying until he actually says no! I have a tenner that says he won't

But he DIDN'T say yes please, this is the problem. (He didn't say no either, though). He faffed about making excuses about herbs and shopping and I still don't know if dinner at his is on or not. I suspect we will end up eating out again or going for a drink, and then having a little unsatisfactory kiss goodbye at the end, sadly.

Ahh, that's slightly different, as is the weekend stuff in the post I crossed with. Although it could still all be nerves on his part.

Hmmm. We always say go with your instincts... Just be sure the whole LM thing hasn't coloured your thinking - in a 'all men are twats' sort of way. It's easily done - I know I've lost at least one good man, by assuming the worst cos of other experiences.

oww

Just don't assume anything. Go for dinner, it's nice to have someone else cook for you, surely. See what the chemistry is like, and wear your good pants. What will be, will be, there is no point stressing about it.

job feel free

bill good to see you back, good luck with moongirl although I get the feeling it's a headf*ck waiting to happen

FrenchGirl was bumped off her flight so gets in about midnight. Hopefully.

I could meet Aruba I suppose.. No. That would be weird. I'd be checking my watch the whole time even though she's attractive and funny. But not FrenchGirl.

Bant, hope you have a lovely week with FrenchGirl, whatever happens.

Oww, I think I would do as you've suggested and say a take away is fine you just fancy a night in etc, and again leave it to him
Title, I'm loving the fact u sent inappropriate texts, I'd quite like to receive some from this guy myself! Sounds like it hasn't caused a problem

joblot I agree can't handle POF. It's like being stuck in a very bad nightclub, unable to get out- with people shouting nonsense in your ear over loud music.

I have found that at least the odd person on okc can chat interestingly and have things to say, although the last person I met on there was relatively articulate but an utter wanker (very young though- red flag :D).

I was also on match a while back and met a very nice intelligent guy I went out with for 3 months. However it didn't last, more because I felt I had thrown myself too quickly into a 'proper relationship' and got cold feet. That's why I am in a 'nothing serious' phase right now (although questioning whether in fact it's too do with just being broken hearted from an abusive long prior relationship,, and whether I should just be on the sofa....:/)

OWW I can really see why you're frustrated. It would piss me off tbh and feel like mixed messages.

Hostess - brilliant description of pof. I've never pulled in a nightclub either...

Hello all, been absent minded for a while but have done the odd bit of lurking - happy hols and happy dating to quite a few of you, how fab!

OWW I agree with Bant in just letting Thursday pan out - at the very least you get a nice meal with someone whose company you enjoy, who knows where it might lead? You might at least get a chance to ask him directly where he sees things going in the near future.... Hope it goes well!

I had a date at the weekend.... One of those guys who had us as a couple before we even met (I know! Red flag! I just thought I'd test the theory ). Nice enough man, but too old for me (outlook wise, not age) and had told a couple of fibs on his profile (bachelors degree = left school with no quals.....). Oh, and despite me saying his work pattern wouldn't work for me, and making many, many other comments which I thought made clear that I wouldn't be seeing him again, he asked me to stay over as he walked me to the train station. In a kind of, well I know I won't see you again, but I'm a nice guy, can I have a shag anyway? Kind of way....

NEXT!

Currently having a nice bit of text banter with someone else, who I seem to have lots in common with. And the cute joiner pops up now and again, but won't ask for a date, so I've lost interest in him.

Oh and re POF, I hide my profile so as to cut out the nightclub noise - works quite well for me!

But then, the only other site with any traffic in my area is Match, which I found to be full of very earnest people including my exH, who found my replacement on there

Oh Django I think I've got one of those.

Why is it certain men do this? He seems a nice guy and all but is already screaming 'NEEDY' in my ear. And we haven't even met. Come onnnn.

He's also lied about his age. He's a musician using his real name as his okc handle and saying he's 50, but google says he's 56.

Red flag eh? Do you agree I should not even bother? Normally I'd be happy just to chat to compatible local person. But he's been texting me about sunsets etc. Blah.

lol @ 'I'm a nice guy can I have a shag anyway' heheh

He's been texting me about sunsets etc.. Blah..

I love that

So as a general question, do you think men are more 'romantic' than women? I know we're more prone to shag and run, but are we also more prone to romantic imaginings? Are women generally more grounded in reality?

Hmm Hostess I think it's the outright lies I couldn't deal with really, just makes me wonder what else he is lying about?

I think/thought I could deal with needy if he was great company and I quite fancied him, but once I'd found out some of his profile was "inaccurate" I just found myself listening for more potential whoppers....

If your guy is local though, might be worth a quick meet up? Unless he's so local that he might be difficult to shake off? Sorry, I'm no use at all! Go with your instinct, then, and if you don't think it'll be fun, just say no

I don't mind a bit of romantic imaginings, coming from the right person .

But I think you can't really be romantic with someone before you've met them, because you can't possibly have a feel for what the other person might find romantic or otherwise.... So it can sound a bit creepy. Or needy.....

OWW imo a man doesn't spend time and effort texting, calling and taking you out if he is not interested. A married man looking to have an affair would have just that, otherwise what is the point. You invited yourself for dinner, your hint was 'its up to him what you do on Thursday' how does that translate to 'rip my clothes off already?'

In terms of getting the message across if it is really getting to you, you're going to have to be more direct. What Bill said is ideal.

Bill ha, after all my claims that dinner can just be dinner, chances are she will turn up, get her kit off whilst whispering "I thought you'd never ask big boy"

Joblot okc is great for finding someone with similar values, intelligent and sense of humour. It's all in the questions which are very revealing.

One sleep for me, I am frazzled, feel like I have pmt (impossible) and would rather post on this thread than face packing for summer and winter (summer at sea) with no washing machine on a boat