He just disappeared after 6 months........I feel such a plonker

[Pinkdaisy4]

Been with 'd'p for around 6 months. Very passionate and intense relationship then two weeks ago, he texted in the morning to say " morning gorgeous, I love you and miss you so much. I texted back on his normal number but came up unobtainable.

He lives about 40 miles away, difficult to just pop round as have a toddler and I work pt. I tried calling his mobile but still " the number you have called has not been recognised" I left a message on his landline but nothing. This was two weeks ago and haven't heard anything.

I feel such a plonker and I'd lent him money too. I was just another notch :(

Just wanted a rant.....we had a termination in April this yr as condom split and failed MAP . I just feel so angry....with everything :( I've been used big time :(

I suppose there is a chance something has gone very wrong like some sort of accident. But surely his work would have told you that at least if this was the case. If he's just left then that is utterly mean and horrible of him. You should go to his house and confront him. I always think alarm bells ring when somebody has absolutely no contact with friends or family.

Winnie.....yes, been to his house plenty of times. He lives in a flat with intercom system and works odd hours. I haven't been to his flat for two weeks.

AF......I fear you're right. Honestly, I'm nearly 40 not 17! I think I should have learnt by now...that's why I'm so mad at myself :(

I would need closure and to know what had happened.

Is he on FB ?

Do you have any friends together?

I would get a babysitter for DC and go and hunt him down for answers?

Give yourself a swift kick up the arse, and move on

Well rid, innit

He can't have gone missing, else his work would have been concerned and glad that you called them.

This is making me feel so sad, I just can't understand why he'd do it, and send that text first, too?

There's always the chance that he's lost his phone. You need to go to his house.

But the OP had tried his landline too without success waddlecakes

When I gave him the money, he promised to ay it back ( as you do) . He knows my financial situation too.

He has contact with friends and family, I don't have their addresses or contact details.

You are not the arse OP. He is.

Don't beat yourself up over it

Maybe he isn't the sort to answer the landline?

I always let mine go to answerphone, hate picking up.

I just crave closure iyswim.

Do you know names of friends/ family?
Maybe they have facebook?

Not on FB

No contact for his friends/family

Flat with (screening) intercom (I assume you have no key/code OP)

Says he works odd hours

Borrowed money

Disappeared

It's an open and shut case, Dr Watson < adjusts deerstalker >

I got 'number not recognised' once when I called some one when they were in the process of changing their mobile phone number.

If something had 'happened' to him why would his phone be cut off? I'd have thought it'd go to voice mail.

He never usually picks up his landline. I've left two messages.....one saying are you dead?!

It's just really odd.

Sounds like he's probably already married or has another girlfriend . Have you tried ringing his number from another phone he won't recognise the number for? How did you meet him? If it was on a dating site but not on facebook that would make me a bit suspicious.

I hope there's a perfectly normal explanation for this.

Because what he said in the text makes it particularly cruel to disappear like this.

OP, this sounds mad (and it is), but I think is warranted if you need an answer: why can't you just go to his flat and continuously buzz/ring until he's forced to answer?

How did you meet him?

It's been two weeks though. OP left a message on his landline number. Even if he was in the process of changing his mobile contract, it doesnt take two weeks.

If he had lost his phone for example, he knows where the OP lives. He would have days off when he could drive to see her to let him know he was ok.

After all, she lent him the money 'to get his car fixed'

If he had blocked your number on his phone I wonder if that could explain why you get that message?

AF .....you're right dear Watson :)

When charging his phone, he always had it on silent and screen face down and writes in capitals.....both I think is odd too.

I have a terrible feeling on reelection now I was either one of many or the OW :(

Could you have a surreptitious look on match.com or similar? The findings might not be pleasant, but as you say you need closure of sorts.

Ah OP, don't beat yourself up about this. I once dated a lovely human specimen who left the country without bothering to tell me. I suspect I was one of a long line of girlfriends. I know you're probably itching for closure, but it may not happen and he ain't worth anymore of your time.

We met at work.
I've tried withholding my number to his landline but t doesn't accept anonymous calls.
I'm going to ask ex h to have little ds this weekend so I can go over but part of me now thinks, is he worth the petrol? But I need to know what has / is going on......without sounding like a stalker!!!!

I would go stakeout his place of employment and ask for the money back.

Call both phones form a different moblie number to see if he answers. Then ask for the money back.

I think he is married.