The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

Evening, tis me Mouse

Mari - welcome to the Bus lovely, sorry, I've not read back. You are in excellent hands :) xxx

Pink - now then you, well bloody done! YOU DID IT, not only that, you did it YOUR WAY. YOU stayed in control. Absofeckinlutely in con trol. My hat is off to you. xxx

DH has a cough, he may not make it until morning. Nemo has just puked his tube have way out and I managed to keep it in situ - no 'well done babes, thanks for that, well done, I know how much you hate having to pass it etc'

Nope - he is ill. Oh. My Days. He has the plague, or something as bad, you'd think. Yup, he has ME! I don't do ill men. I just don't.

So, we're watching top gear, well, he is and then bed. Deep, deep joy!

Sorry to not catch up properly and I will tomorrow but tonight, I am sulking like a teenager because I CBA with ill DH>

Christ save me!

Pink - I meant to say to you about having wine in the fridge.... DON'T! Warm wine is nasty, like old sock soup or onion gravy with a splash of slime... YUK!

So, don't have any in. Or if you want to drink in moderation, like Joey does - buy smaller bottles. Not 20, just 2 each time. It'll take a bit of juggling but you'll work our what's best for you.

Mari - I hope to get to know more about you tomorrow, sorry for the lack of interaction tonight.

Whoever it was that said about 'short posts being rude'? You can post what you want here on the Bus and for as as long as you want as far as I'm concerned.

Stella - I think you lose your inhibitions so aren't as scared to say what you feel. I used to be a right twat to DH when pissed. I used to let it all out, every last niggle, barbed remark, horrid, snide and nasty. I think that alcohol gives you a false sense of superhumanism.

It's not worth it, don't get pissed, don't get nasty and don't expect for it to be okay after you have. IME

And on that note, goodnight Babes - Love you all lots xxx

Mouse, sulk away, it sounds like you have every reason to! I love being able to revel in a frat sulk sometimes!

Not been bad not been great tonight. Big hugs to everyone on the bus and see you tomorrow.

Night night x

Good sulk that should be!

maristella you know that on any other post on mumsnet - if you admitted to snogging someone else or being unfaithful, then there would be wrath raining upon you. Here, well, it's not that we ignore it, it just that we understand all the crap that is going on behind the scenes - your need to 'let go', or your need to 'relax' and the way in which that can make you behave in the way you did. Of course drinking in no way excuse it, but actually what we need to concentrate on is the drinking habit that led you to that behaviour....

So welcome.

I've been so reckless with my alcohol intake for much of this year. Ever since the bereavement. It has spiralled, and needs to stop, straight away.

There was no intended malice in what I did last night. I was wasted and thoughtless and reckless. I love that man of mine with all my heart, and hate what I've done. Can't bear to have hurt and disrespected him.
My drinking has always verged on destructive, sometimes more so than others. But I'm in my mid 30s, and lets face it, it's tragic

Just checking in - another sober night - hoorah. I'm refusing to do the 'back at day one' thing cos it makes me feel like a total failure every time I slip up. Instead I'm keeping track of what I've NOT drunk lately. So, I joined the bus on the 1st of June. This means that in the course of this month, despite a couple of slip-ups, I've NOT drunk 27.5 bottles of wine. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. If I can do the same for July I'll be over the chuffing moon (and hopefully half a stone lighter).

Also checked out greens link and scared myself stupid so that's helping me stay on the straight and narrow.

Ma - can you sign up for a new running challenge? Or join a Jog Scotland group or summit like that? You worked so hard to build up that fitness - keep up the momentum and you could be running a marathon next!!!

Pink well done today - I bet you feel incredibly proud of yourself. :)

mouse sorry your DH has the death-cough. If he survives the night maybe he can get his finger out tomorrow and bring you brekkie in bed to make up.

stella - welcome!

Actually I agree the alcohol has made me say and do stuff I wouldn't have otherwise and behave in a way that's out of character. I'm finding it hard to name it past day 2 at the moment but he I could I could probably work out whether I do actually like dp really0:) lol

I'm going to treat my poor liver to some milk thistle today.

I've noticed lately that I'm very suddenly drunk, and this change in tolerance tends to follow a period of carnage. Think that's a bit of liver damage

Sorry, how rude of me: Good morning babes! I hope today treats you well. I'm off for a big long dog walk in a few minutes and it's sunny already

Good morning all babes!
Ma (ahem), I'll have you know that I'm from Norf London innit? As for being a trollop, well chance would be a bloody fine thing, now move over and let me get my sorry arse back on the seat. I have no food, eaten out of house and garden by the rellies. In fact my arse might not even fit on the seat, seeing as how you can now see it from space, like the great wall of China. Indiiieeee Hi babes, sorry about your difficult weekend. It's so upsetting, even more when you love each other, but can't see eye to eye for a while. Did laugh at coxless pairs though

Today is day three for me, after a marathon two weeks of at least a bottle every night. The weather here has not been good and the rellies kept falling out with each other, cracking open bottles around 4-ish, eating everything in sight, not going anywhere and expecting a home cooked meal (for 10) every night. I am beeyyond tired, fat, bloated, splotchy and got a bad kidney (again). Still, they bought me lots of nice stuff from the UK and we did have some larfs.
I'd like to say 'Hi' to Maristella If there is one thing I have learnt from this thread lovely, is that you CAN turn it around. There is a fantastic babe called Koala who has been such an inspiration - see if you can find her story in the threads. You sound like you are ready to make changes. You can, you'll see.
Pink01 Bloody well done on your day out. Hi, Stella !
Waves to Guggs Rural Green Obrigada Mrs Drew Babyjane Edin Jango Joey Thurso lonnika and Hex
Purps you ok babe? Mouse fellow chillow babe ((hug)).
I hope we can do long posts because I wanted to say that I don't have problems when I am out. I can control my drinking in public now and I have used the wise advice of Faire and Venus on many occasions. No, my problem, like Ma said earlier upthread, is the drinking at home, it's too easy, no-one really to judge me as my old man likes a drink. I cook a lot and we eat late, so I open a bottle while cooking and finish it off with dinner - and that's if I'm being good! It is too easy for me to drink every night. I do have nights off, but not that many. One of my friends said that it wouldn't bother her if she never had another drink, but that she couldn't give up crisps. I was like
I do still have the cringies in the early hours though, when I remember some of the nights I got completely and utterly stupid drunk and what I said and what I did. I could curl up in the bottom of my bed and hold my hair and whimper
Anyway, sending French Fairy Dust out to all babes at the beginning of this week. Try and be good, that's all we can do. AND be kind to yourselves. xxx

Hi time welcome to the bus lovely.

Oooh - loving the French Fairy Dust. It's making me feel all continental. Might have to have some bread and cheese for lunch. :)

Ok can I just ask of everyone who has ever got help with their drinking if u then had any unwanted involvement from certain agencies? I'm a bit hesitant to ask for help if it will like has happened to someone recently on here. I'm guessing most likely if u go to gp but there is an organisation near me I've tried ringing and thinking calling again would that be anonymous?well u know what I mean!! I don't want to end up with an actual label which could perhaps be used against me....some of you might remember I was supposed to be trying to stay dry to see if dp would try and keep me drinking but I'm ashamed to say I can't at the moment! I'm goin to try really hard this week though. Because I feel my dp feels he has one up on me whine I have this problem which is one reason why I don't talk to him about it. Do you all have people to talk to in rl about this?I don't. I've had this problem in the past and it lost me a lot of friends I think. Sure they would be helpful and supportive of me wen I was hungover and remorseful but I think they probably got fed up of me then ringing them up pissed!:-/ oh and I've already been referred to social services over my drinking and although that case was quickly closed I really don't want

To have to deal with that again and I don't know what is kept on record. Sorry just thinking aloud really trying to figure what my next move should be

Stella I'm sorry I don't have any experience which could help, sure others will be along soon.

Day 1 (again here) though I am of the cutting down rather than quitting persuasion. I drink similar to Ma half to 3/4 bottle per night. Has been a lot worse, has been better. I know I can stop when I start I just don't want to do it everyday. Only managing one or possibly two AF nights per week at the moment max, want to get to three or four - Why is it so hard, I'm not physically dependent, It's fine if I don't drink, I don't really miss it. I think I just have to stop buying it first and foremost!!

I buy my wine with my online shop (always tempted by the wine offers so stick a few bottles in thinking I'm getting a good deal). I drink it because it is there and I can.

Sorry not to NC love to all babes xx

Welcome new babes,
sorry not to nc will read back later.
Like isinde i am a serial offender.
Was on day 2 today but failed and am almost a bottle down.
Start again tomorrow.
Love to allxx

Evening all,

Day 8 I think and still going good, thanks to all the support and help on here Thank you all once again for that SO much. This has been the first day I really haven't even contemplated drinking during the day which is a big leap forward. I find that internal battle quite wearing.

Sorry just read back, to clarify I mean thinking about drinking during the day but for the drinking to be done at night. I don't drink in the day time unless its the weekend!

It was me that asked about the long posts so thanks for the clarity. It is just sometimes on MN you see people apologising for long posts or whatever and I didn't know if I needed to be less rambly!

Mouse I hope you have a better night with your little boy and that DH's serious man flu passes as soon as possible

Rural tomorrow is a new day x

Hello to all other babes out there, Maristella how have you got on today?

For the posters who worry that seeking help might land them in the same awful situation as Babyjane, I feel the same. I am not at the stage where I think I need outside help but if I did I would be massively reluctant now.

My drinking quiz said I needed blood tests, an endoscopy and a liver biopsy based on 9 units a day week days and 12 on weekend days. I just hope staying off the drink and a substantial period of abstinence will repair any damage to my insides. I can't imagine going to the doctor about it.

Anyway I think that is enough from me, thank you all once again. Hope you have all had a peaceful day.

Pink X

Hello everyone! So much of what is being said here rings true. It's been really helpful to see I'm not alone. Busy day and evening chez Hex today. It was good as it has kept me distracted although a stressful meet up with my mum made me want a glass of wine to take the edge off it but I know it wouldn't have stopped at just one.

Love to all the babes. Will see you all tomorrow. x

Hello Babes

A much better day today, but I certainly haven't forgotten about the pain I felt and caused yesterday.

DP is back he's fast asleep but happy to be here. I'm so pleased to have him back, and I will never put him in that situation again. Or myself! If I hadn't been completely plastered that guy would never have dared try it on like that, I can't let myself be that vulnerable again. I do actually really value my safety, and I get scared of being hurt.

The not quite so good news: DP brought wine! I had a glass, but only a glass, that's good going. I just can't touch another drop until the weekend, and then if I do drink on the weekend I have to take steps to stay in control. No shots, water with every wine, no doubles. It's how I drank until our bad news, and it's the only way I ever want to drink again.

Hi all. Haven't been around for a bit - seem to be saying that a lot lately. I think to myself, I'll just have a look in on the babes and see what everyone's up to and it then takes me about half an hour to catch up with the thread.

By the time I'm up to date, I've forgotten what the earlier posts were about. Head like a sieve. It gets worse, I swear. Must be my age.

Anyway Maristella some good advice to you so far, I just wanted to add that actions speak louder than words. You can show your dp how sorry you are by stopping drinking. And we can help you do that.

stella AA would be the obvious choice for rl support and advice. There are also books like Allen Carr and someone (sorry can't remember who) is trying hypnotherapy and is going to get back to us.

You can talk to us here about anything. Was it something in particular you want help with. I found it easier to break the overwhelming problem into smaller, manageable chunks. For example, just doing one alcohol free day at first. No drinking on Mondays - that sort of thing. Small successes really helped spur me on.

Once you get used to habitually not drinking, it becomes much easier. Stick with it, it does get better.

Hello and welcome to all new babes, hope to get you know you better.

Big hugs to all who need them (and those who don't but would like one anyway)

Maristella I also meant to say, so sorry for your loss. Have you posted on the bereavement board? Do you want to share how you are feeling? We're good listeners, here. Feel free to share as much or as little as you want, when you want.

There won't be any more drinking tonight as I have a mammoth essay to write this week I won't touch a drop til Friday.

The bereavement, I don't know where to start. I'm only just starting to see how it's knocked me completely sideways. A young relative, very important to us, to cancer. Really traumatic. And then my mum got very sick, bereavement related. I thought she was going to die in front of me a couple of times; all thus just weeks later. It's been mad, really mad.

I need to sleep, I'm exhausted after a much interrupted 4 hours sleep last night! Tiredness is a huge issue for me so I best go up now.

Thank you all for being there x