The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

sweetie your joey tonight as well Enjoy your evening.
Had the last glass of wine in my house a few hours ago and resisted the ww's pleas to go out for more. I was mad at myself at first as I was not planning on drinking today but feel a bit better now i have resisted going out for more.
Off to bed now.
Night, night babesxx

I just feel more like Joey, don't know why... everyone can still call me Sweetie though!

Well done you on resisting

Day 5 done

Will post tomorrow to name check

Night babes x

Had nice night out with friend yesterday. Two white wine spritzers and home to bed. Social drinking isn't a problem - its the relentless drinking at home that does it for me. Friend was shocked when I said I drank every day. She added that a glass of wine a night was a drink problem. Didn't bother to tell her that its between half a bottle and a full bottle....

ERM, have you all gone off somewhere without me?

Nope, I'm here Ma

I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your uplifting and very insightful (Venus ) in response to my work post the other day.
It was really, really helpful in making me think about why I wanted to stay in my present job, and I think "comfort zone" probably says it all.

Anyways, I have my interview (although my friend said very informal!!) outfit ready (for the wash!), and a whole load of questions that I formulated at about 2am this morning (gah!!). Thankyou again, so much good advice, that I couldn't have asked for in RL.

I hope you are all well and happy tonight, and Ma, home does it does for me too, I'm ok out, but in with a bottle I'm hopeless, maybe says something about the at home company we keep? I shouldn't be horrid, Dh has been so supportive through all of this college debacle, and work stuff, but, is that all we've got to talk about? Just been doing our 25th lunch invitations, and made them all casual and informal, instead of the very proper photo's we have, Dh said "just like us, brilliant!". I loved him for that, perhaps he just doesn't show too easily, I don't know .

Much to all
T xxx

Hello - some brilliant posts recently - really inspiring, esp Ionnika - "I can honestly say there are no negatives about not drinking..." - I need to hear that on a regular basis so thanks.

Also loved Venus - 'I don't really drink these days'. It's the perfect phrase for those of us who still have the 'fear' about never drinking again.

I drank last night at a family do but didn't pick up another bottle on the way home (once I start I usually can't stop). Came home and had a cup of tea and didn't feel like crap this morning.

Well done Edinbugger - I try to stay really positive - like tonight I have just finished ironing - when I was drinkn I wold be piss@d by now and Hve to wake up in be morning and I the ironing. Well done for last night xx - Thursu good luck - pink well done on day 5/6 :)))

Hope all are havin a good Saturday evening :)). Enjoy the sun tomorrow - laters xxxx L

Evening, tis me, the Mouse.

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo super tired. I think we're about to get a thunderstorm here...... the sky is BLACK AS NIGHT!!!

pink what are your plans for today?

Good morning Venus, Mouse and all babes.

Venus I won't be drinking today

Sorry feeling a bit emosh about how caring you all are, I am moved beyond words that you have both remembered today and thought to ask after me. I appreciate more than I can possibly say.

Mouse asked me to be honest, so I will - I also did Green's drink test late last night and it really frightened me. Although my reliance on alcohol was worrying, my health results were worse and although I did the test making every day as bad as it could be (ie a bottle of wine a day which I don't always do but I have the potential) I will probably get to a bottle a day, every day, and then more if I carry on and don't sort this out.

Last night I was alone in the house (well, kids here but asleep) and I was so close to drinking, we have two bottles of white wine in the fridge and I was grinding my teeth at times and dithering about whether to have any but somehow I didn't and I am so so glad I didn't!

Then I went up to bed and found Mouse's message and it made me feel so humble and lucky and glad once again that I had stayed off it.

I have a bottle of fizzy water and that is going into my wine glass today and nothing more. I will drive too actually, I never drink and drive so that always helps.

Sorry to ramble but I am so so grateful and to think that you came and asked about me and remembered is enough in itself actually to make me want to keep going.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

Pink x

Sorry, how is everyone else? It's a beautiful day out there

That sounds like a great plan pink

I have always found it important to have an active plan for social occasions - taking your own drink is great (as well as being the driver) - and I also knew what I would say if people commented on me not drinking "well I had a bit of a headache earlier so I'm sticking to juice at the moment" or "actually I'm really thirsty so I'll have a big glass of lime and soda thanks"

The other thing is to notice other people's drinking habits (or not-drinking habits). I used to think that I was drinking similar amounts to others, but observing people I saw how many of them actually drank very little - maybe a glass, maybe another small top-up, but then often a cup of tea. And they all drank so slowly. I was always finished my glass, looking for another one, then another, then another...... And if I was at all stressed about where my next drink was coming from then I was concentrating on that and not at all upon whatever occasion I was attending.

So enjoy this afternoon. And feel good about yourself, and happy to be sober.

Well done Pink - Venus' advice is really good :). I always think people don't really care what others do anyway - I would just say I was driving and I don't like to even have one drink and drive - :). have a great afternoon :).

I am just about to do some work :(. Then going on a walk with my mum later on - then an early night for me. - I won't be drinking today :)
Have a good day all :)

Hello Babes. I really need your support today, it is day one for me and I'm determined to stick with it. Yesterday I had a 12 hour drinking binge, drinking vodka and gin all day and then wine. I feel totally disgusting today and never never want to be in that state again.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Pin - you are going to get this nailed today. YOU WILL DO IT. You're ready to not drink, you don't need to after all to have a nice time. You really don't.

I second what venus says - watch how others around you drink. It's a real eye opener. I used to be the same, necking my first glass of wine, waiting with my teeth itching for someone to go and get the next round in, it got to the point where I'd have my first drink, it'd be gone in a flash and I'd actually go to the loo via the bar, and take a new glass of wine with me.

I'd normally put a there but do you know what? I'm not embarrassed anymore. I've been that drinker, I didn't like it once I stopped and I have no plans to go back there. Ever.

So, lovely Pink - have a fabulous time and come tell us all about it once you get chance later on? Big hugs for being so brave and wanting to take control. xxx

Time - I'm around today..... what time would you normally start to drink? When's your low point?

After yesterday, I wouldn't want to be drinking at all either. Well done for making today Day 1 :) you can do it, if you want to.

I promise. :) xxx

Thank you Mouse, I would normally start to want a drink around now, especially on such a nice day. (Luckily?) I still feel so awful from yesterday that I'm not tempted. Tomorrow after work will probably be a different story though - how do you distract yourself/fight the urge to drink?

Hello babes,

Thanks so much all of your for your support. I had a lovely afternoon and I did not drink, I am sober as a cold stone right now feels great.

I did not need to explain really, I said I was driving and that was the end of the discussion. I would have had so much to drink usually at this kind of thing and then be good for nothing when I got home, I can't really say how nice it feels. So thank you all once again so much. I feel like having got through this weekend sober I could do it anytime now. But I must be careful not to be complacent!

Isinde sorry to hear you are struggling, starting again at day one is the hardest thing and when the domestic front is not very peaceful it does not help at all. Have you stopped before? How did you find it?

Anytime (sorry hope I have the right name for the new poster) there is a number of things you can try; could you change you routine at all and go out? I don't know your situation. I can't do that as I have children to feed and get to bed and my trigger time is 5pm onwards when I get home from work. I usually pour a big glass of squash or put some fizzy drink in a wine glass; I have a book on the go to read and distract myself with; I have an early night sometimes and I work towards it as soon as I get in - make up off, quick shower, clean PJs then into bed with a book as early as poss, I rush around doing everything that needs to be done ASAP ( clean uniforms etc) and then I can focus on bedtime!

I read someone the other day saying they had googles the effects of drinking and that had made them decide to keep going and not rush out to the shop which I thought was a good idea, it depends what helps you or what you might find off putting! I do visualise myself thinner and healthier and playing with my children being totally involved and available for them......

I hope you are ok anyway you must have felt quite wretched this morning - been there done that soooo many times!

Thank you all again.
Btw do we try and keep posts short on here? It seems you are mean to elsewhere on Mumsnet.

Pink X

Ps Mouse, again, thank you SO much. And Venus. How are you?

Lonnika thank you also to you, hope you had a good time with your mum x

I need to join
I've joined before, but never stay on the thread.

I've just done the drink aware test. Hazardous apparently, how very true.

My drinking has spiralled this year, I've been midweek drinking, and all the rules that I usually apply when I go out have gone out of the window.

I'm scared that my behaviour this weekend will ruin my life.
I'm scared the drink will kill me.

My DS deserves better, DP deserves better, my friends do, work does, my neighbours do. I do, but I'm not feeling especially worthy right now.

I can't do the doctors, as up thread I couldn't cope with the shit storm.

I could lose everything that matters

Ok Maristella, it is going to be ok. I can't be anything like as eloquent as the lovely Mouse but I am here. We can help you.

What has happened this weekend? Do you feel able to share? We have all done things we regret when under the influence so you are not alone in that. It is a dreadful feeling though and I do empathise with you!

I found the drink aware quiz very frightening myself, it scared me a lot but the good news is there is a way out. You can turn this round and the bus will help. Are you still there?

Pink X

Oh Maristella, bless you. I'm just getting used to being here. You won't lose everything and the fact that you are here shows you want to make things better. The one thing that's not so obvious from your post is that you deserve better too. It is how you feel about yourself that is fundamental to everything. I can't speak for everyone but I suspect a lot of issues with alcohol are to do with self esteem. I know mine are. You need to look after yourself so that you can do the right thing by others.

I'm very new but I'll be here if you want a shoulder to lean on.

Isinde it sounds as if it's been a tricky weekend for you. Tension of any sort is such a trigger isn't it. Please keep talking on here even if it's only to
Vent and nothing else.

I've had a lovely weekend with DS albeit tinged with stress as 'D'H went away with work at the last minute. It was a pain but I hate the fact that now DS has not seen his father for a week now and I still don't know what is going on with everything. It is exhausting. I've had a couple of large glasses tonight because I've just got to the point of needing to unwind after a whole weekend with DS. I love him so dearly but he has so much energy and is so full on it is exhausting.

Thanks, I'm still here. I'm really grateful for your responses

I've been a fool, such a fool. I've made such an idiot of myself. Vague recollections of people rolling their eyes at me, "ooh drunk again". I mess everything up eventually.

We had an awful bereavement a few months back and I'm still reeling. I drink to forget and to escape.

My DS is losing faith in me, just when he needs to be able to lean on me. I'm worried sick DP will leave me, and I love him so much. My work isn't good enough. I'm behind on my uni work. My neighbours threatened to report me for noise last week.

It's all a big lump of shit

I've been unfaithful. I want to puke with fear and self loathing. I almost puke every time I get a Facebook notification. I'm killing the best relationship I've ever had