The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

Hi Venus,

Nice to see you

It's frightening isn't it to look back and see how close to the edge you were, I know I still do it and still fear returning to it.

My evenings were almost completely unproductive when I was drinking and as I work full time that was my only opportunity to get everything else done. But the drink just made me so lethargic and unable to focus.

What do you do now Venus, do you moderate or just not drink at all? I would like to learn to moderate but I am not sure if I'm capable and also sometimes I think to myself I have drank a lifetime's worth of alcohol now so what's the point of having any more!

Day 38 here, the 30s have gone really slowly, I'm not sure why.

Obrigda I would ring the police straight away. If she has done this before it may be the only way she learns. What an appalling thing to do.

Have a good day all

Pink X

Morning babes waves enthusiastically to venus and thurso, hope all babes are doing well today, sun is shining in Scotland and taking my girls to the safari park, hope they don't mistake me for a hippo which is a very real possibility, feeling good about no wine this week but I could eat my own arm (thus would make me a 3 legged hippo).Anyway lots of walking today so that's a start, wishing all my babe friends a splendid day x x x

Obrigada that's shocking behaviour from your sister. I hope she gives your daughter her money back - I second (third, fourth?) the advice to go to the police if she doesn't.

BamBam fingers crossed for you x

Well, I made it through the camping in one piece, and without alcohol , in spite of various things happening that would usually be a trigger for me to open a bottle. (Non sleeping child, argument with DH (probably caused by non sleeping child!), very disturbed sleep due to loud idiots all around, as well as going out for several meals). Not sure I would recommend it but it was definitely an experience.

Day 10 here and still feeling positive, which is surprising as I'm usually very grumpy at this stage of giving up. Just need to sort out getting rid of the excess weight now. Tempted by the 5:2 diet but I'm not sure I could maintain that in the long run.

Best of luck to all today!

Obrigada - that is terrible - hope you get it sorted x

Have decided that after spending too long pouring crap into my body going to try and starting pouring good stuff into me - currently drinking a lot of pomegranate juice - meant to b v good for you 😇 Will let you know if I notice any health benefits x

Afternoon babes old and new :)

Obrigada that's completely shit. How terrible not to be able to trust your own family, I'm really sorry.

I need your advice babes please. Shall I speak to my mum about her drinking or not? - I know it won't go well, she is in denial. well mostly she lives in a fantasy world of her own making. She is a narcissist and is right about absolutely everything. BUT she has a heart condition and high blood pressure, she looks awful at the moment and has lots of symptoms which she puts down to other things. I don't know if I can stand by and not say anything when she is making herself ill, it doesn't seem very responsible or caring of me to just ignore it. Maybe saying something ,whilst it would produce instant denial, make plant a seed to make her think about it?

Would appreciate any advice. Love and luck xx

green your in a difficult situation, do you have siblings or a friend or family member of your mum that shares your concerns. It might cos less of a backlash to you if you approach her as a concerned family??? Hugs to you green it's an awful hard one!! X x x

Thank you for responding baby yes I have a sister who is also worried and wants to say something. En masse is definitely not the way to go with mum though she would accuse us of ganging up on her. Saw mum today, whatever i decide I don't know whether I'd ever have the balls to say anything. Dad is an alcoholic and worships her, we have been thrown out of the house for criticising her before, she would always come first. He would disown us to protect her. And clearly if they are both drinking it's easier for him. It's a shit storm i'm not sure I could start but can I just stand by and watch her kill herself without saying anything at all?

Dad is beyond help but it's possible mum could cut down I think if she had enough motivation to do so.

How are you baby are you winning?

Oh green don't know way to say - if you don't say anything you could kick yourself later x
Good luck x

Not posting at the mo but wanted to say hi to Venus and thurso and mouse.....and green and guggs and obrigada and purple if she's around. And to everyone else too.

Hello Ma I hope you are okay, missing your posts x

Evening all, tis me, Mouse

Ma - Purps is on hols near me!! In fact, we were in the same place on the same day and didn't know! Typical!

Well, it's all good here, lots of low/no carbs means a lighter, happier Mouse :)

The other good thing is that drink is a no no as it's LOADED with sugar and piles on the carbs/pounds again so there's just no point to the diet so you go round in circles if you drink and listen to what I have had to eat today....

Breakfast - apple, was rushing out of the door to get the car in for a service.

Lunch - ham salad = cheddar cheese chunks, cucumber, lettuce, roasted ham and full fat mayo.

Dinner - quiche lorraine - slither of with the pastry taken off, lettuce, roasted chicken breast, more cheddar chunks, mayo.

Dessert - strawberries and cream!!!

Drinks - 4 pints of water.

And I feel great, no wobbles or shakes, I did get dizzy before lunch which was far too late, and DH had to make me eat, but I don't feel hungry or bloated, I don't feel swollen. I look better as in not pregnant because of the amount of bread I'd normally eat! And it's only day 1!!

DISCLAIMER - I realise that this is all in my head and will be fine tomorrow when reality hits

Just wanted to pop in and say hello really. Hope you are all okay, Pink and other are all still doing so well!!

KEEP GOING!!!

Will be back tomorrow at some point - physio (ouchy) and In-Laws for the day so may be late on but I've missed posting what with our WA night away and a billion things to do!!

Lots of love, Mouse xxx

Hi everyone. Thank you for all your good wishes, but it turned out I wasn't pregnant after all, and now I have my period. DP and I were gutted, but it's made us realise that we would love another one. Watch this space! So, we had a drink on Monday night as we were both miserable, but then had none on Tuesday (the first "dry" night in I don't know how long), but then had some last night again. I am hoping we might have another dry night tonight though. It's hard when we both cave in so easily though. DP was at the doctor last week, and she noticed his blood pressure was raised, so he had to go back yesterday. It was still raised so she has taken a blood sample and he is back in a fortnight. I am worried now that he has done some damage. When my dad died, he had a massive heart attack and apparently all the drinking had enlarged his heart. I don't want that to happen to DP or to me.

Well done to everyone who is still on the wagon. 4 days is great sidecar, I would be so chuffed with that!

Mouse your diet sounds fab! I am on a diet just now too, but you are right that drinking totally wipes out the good effects of the diet. I hope you continue to feel so great with it.

Afternoon well I also survived camping but did have a drink:( dont feel so bad as I was on holiday but day 1 again today feel a bit anxious but not half as bad as the other week well onwards and upwards from here x

Greeneyed is drinking and in lots of pain. Not entirely unexpected setback from my shit body. Fuck it button pressed for some wallow time. WILL pick myself up tomorrow. Down :( but not out.

Sorry not to name check, lovely and brave babes. Too absorbed in self pity, have tried so hard :( . Hopefully normal service will resume tomorrow. I will not let this beat me!

indie can't believe I missed you out my friend.
I've given up trying to give up, so am living in the sidecar pissed off with myself

Thank you isinde i am not giving up, feel okay, illness is always the worst for me because a i am a control freak and can't control it. Need to learn to roll with the punches. (like our amazing mouse) hope you have a wonderful holiday

. I've had half a cider and two glasses of wine, it's floored me so I won't be drinking anymore. Good to have no tolerance :)

ma you are an inspiration to me, you just completed c to 5 k which is amazing! You'll haul yourself back on the bus when the time is right. Mind if I fall asleep in your side car tonight? Love to all xx

(((Greeneyed))). Sorry you are in pain

I've been in sidecar for last few days - annoyed with myself ...

Morning all my lovely friends,

Thank you for asking after me Venus. Yup, I'm ok, it has just been a bit fraught and traumatic leaving my old job. To say that they haven't been gracious about it would be an understatement!
Ah well, I've just got to hand back all my confidential stuff, and hopefully achieve "closure" (I hate that word!) with no hard feelings.

Isinde my lovely! Have a fab holiday. Guess what I'm doing on Saturday? Taking part in Brighton Pride as part of the walking procession! I can't wait, it's such a great occasion. Dh won't do it, so my sis and I are going to rock 'n' roll .

Green New day sweetheart, I hope you're feeling better this morning.

Sorry not to name check everyone, I'll lose this if I scrole back, I must get into better habits of writing names down!

Love to all

Ps thunder and lightening here at the mo

Hiyah babes

Green, sorry this is a slow reply to your question about your mum but I wanted to answer it properly and not in a hurry.

I have mentioned before I think that my dad died from alcoholism. My heart goes out to you dealing with both parents, it must be awful.

In short, I would try and talk to your mum. I regret not tackling my dad much sooner, it was a family conspiracy to downplay his drinking and pander to his moods, but in the end this did him no good at all. He was such a nasty drunk too it is not as if I could have made his behaviour much worse by talking to him.

If you can try and make your statements about how you feel 'I am very worried about your drinking' 'I feel concerned that your health could be affected by your drinking' etc, you own your feelings and then you are only saying how you feel. Sorry if these suggestions are not helpful as obviously I don't know your mum. If you do decide to speak to her let us know how you get on! Good luck Green.

Day 40 here today whoever it was that said the weight would start to come off was right! I have lost a few pounds, I have also given up my tub of ice cream a night habit which I am sure has helped! Feeling healthier every day, I am keen to sort my weight out now as my BMI is over healthy levels. I need to lose two stone to be healthy weight and then another stone and a half to be on the bottom level of healthy weight (if that makes sense!)

Good luck to everyone who is low carbing or otherwise dieting.

Sending love and strength to everyone whether you're on the bus or in the sidecar. It has taken me a long time (as i lurked for so long) to realise that just being on here and facing the problem is such a good start, a massive step forward. I really do love Edin's system; even if you have had a few drinks you are probably drinking a lot less than you used to. I certainly was before I boarded the bus completely, I just wish I had used that system then to see I was making some progress!

Have a good day everyone

Pink X

Hi all. Sorry not to read back much but hugs to Green Damned if you do and damned if you don't. So sorry. I'll read back more later and see if I can think of anything.

I need help and advice. Close to tears here today. DD (12) is being a total bitch (strong word, I know but I'm so upset). In the 7 days since we've been on holiday, she's picked 4 huge fights. She's been totally unreasonable, selfish and nasty. This morning she's told me she wants to phone her Dad and get him to come and pick her up as she doesn't want to be here anymore (we're supposed to leave on Monday morning). I worked fucking hard to get the money together for this holiday and I'm really hurt by her horrible behaviour. She doesn't even want to come out with us today - said to leave her here in the cottage - which I can't obviously, so her behaviour is impacting on the boys - who are being great.

The thing she doesn't know is that I've invited my ex to spend the weekend here (in the children's room, natch) and I'm not sure he should come now. If he turns up, she'll have an ally (he is very weak at telling her she's being a cow) and may well want to go home with him on the Sunday night, instead.

I've tried to talk to her but she just comes up with total crap. She snapped her body board (was still usable). I wasn't prepared to walk the half hour in to the town from the beach (leaving everyone and everything - we'd set up 'camp', tons of stuff) and both her brothers said she could borrow theirs - then she had a strop because I wouldn't go in with her!! (I'd been in the sea twice with her by this time). When I explained I'd get her another board if we went to the beach again (weather dependant) she snorted "Well, THAT'S not going to happen, is it!?" Total tantrum yesterday, after the beach, because her legs were sticky from the sea and she couldn't get her short on - and it was my fault somehow.?????

I feel like doing nothing today but that's not fair on the boys but I really don't fancy dragging the ungrateful cow anywhere.

She's sulking in her bedroom and I'm feckin' furious and hurt. Any help would be appreciated.

Hi Purple - oh you poor thing! Sounds like your dd has just decided to be utterly vile, for whatever reason.

I think kids that age can lack empathy and understanding. I remember behaving v badly whilst on holiday when I was a teen.

I don't know what to suggest. Your dd's awful behaviour is giving her a lot of power over the rest of you. As far as your ex is concerned, I think you should let him know what's going on and see how he feels about joining you.