The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

Ma When you find the elusive something, will you send it over to me? I'll pay for the postage.

Annie - If you really, honestly hand on heart don't want to have wine tonight, then don't. Just don't have that first drink, have something else instead. I know that is easier said than done. Especially as DH will be bringing YOU a drink home..............

Make yourself a lovely Mocktail, there are loads of gorgeous juices out there, M&S do fab drinks, as do most supermarkets and you can make yourself anything you like, as long as it's booze free.

I love pomegranate, with diet lemonade, fresh lime slices and crushed ice, all in a tall glass, ready made up in the fridge earlier in the day so that you're less/not tempted to go for that glass of wine.

Are you wanting to give up completely or just cut down because I don't think you can just stop, not just like that right now, something is holding you back? Do you think that maybe your DH would support you if you stopped, not give up as well but your post made me think that he'd be losing his drinking buddy and might not like that?

Mouse I'd honestly say i don't want to give up completely but would like to drink more the way I used to. On a night out, rarely at home, on holiday - I used to have bottles of wine in the cupboard for months on end and wasn't tempted. I'm not even sure how I went from drinking lager occasionally to drinking wine virtually every night?

I think it sort of crept up on me, and has gone from something I enjoy to something that's sort of depressing. Looking outside of myself I can see there is no fun in sitting at the pc, glass of wine in hand, every night, it's boring.

I'm not sure if dh would support me if I stopped, he doesn't drink in the same way I do but he likes me to drink! Seriously he says I am a much nicer person after I've had a drink. How bad is that?! Like the other night, he knew screwed up (he forgot to pick the dcs up) knew I was furious but rather than deal with it, he thinks/knows he'll get less shit from me if i'm intoxicated

D'accord ladame

Anyone around? Have had 3 becks blue and the ww isn't happy.....

Hi all, around , just just still lurking. But reading about Greens mum(?). Don't you think it is weird that people can rag on people about smoking (as an ex smoker I do to my mum) but it is almost a .big taboo to do it about drinking? I remember at school they told us the dangers of smoking and drugs and glue sniffing....but not a fat lot about booze.

Hi ma - I'm checking in and out. If you don't want to drink why don't you get yourself off to bath/bed with a good book?

Just read that back and winced. Saturday nights ain't what they used to be....

Dd is hogging the bath and too early for bed but am hanging on in here. Bloated from the "beer" but AF

Ma - Been thinking about your 'boring' evening problem. Are you political at all? Could you join a cause - or create one? You always strike me as fiesty type. :)

For fiesty do you mean gobby
Nah,couldn't give a monkeys about politics I'm afraid.I can't knit or sew or do crafty stuff. I quite like jigsaws bit they are in the way if I do them on the kitchen table as there is nowhere else to eat.
I've got to find something....... I'm bored with drinking, bored with not drinking, bored with myself.......

Yeah, gobby'll do .

What are those jigsaw mat things that you can roll up - do they actually work. Off to google. (Can you tell I'm bored...)

No excuses. Think of the fun you could have rolling this up of an evening. rolling up thing

Off now to pick up friend at airport. Probably as well. I think I might be driving you to drink.

Well dh didn't bring home any wine but suggested getting some. I told him he could have the bottle of red and I wanted none. It's now sat open in the kitchen and he's had about a quarter of it. I'm sure he'd expected me to help finish it whilst we watch the Americans.

I've bought some J20, never had them before as I only drink very low cal drinks, so I'll have one of them and try to resist. That sounds bad, saving my calories for wine, very disordered.

I tried a rolling up thing and it was shit and all the bits fell off.
Never mind, soon be bedtime.
Annie well done. Hope the J20 does it for you.

Thanks ma I hope it hits the spot. Twice I've gone into the kitchen and noticed my fingers almost reach for the wine bottle yet (touchwood) I don't feel like I want it. Weird

Annie - I rather get the feeling that if YOU drink, that gives your DH 'permission' to drink. Even if it's only one for him and four for you, does that make sense?

The fact that he wants you to drink and says that 'you're more fun' or words along those lines made me think that he maybe feels that you're stressed currently, wound up, worried about stuff and a drink will relax you.

Or he wants to control you. Which ever it is, drinking HAS to be down to YOU!! NOT HIM!!

My past is a long and varied one but I get the impression that he likes to be in control of every day things too?

Well done on trying something new.... Keep posting, keep thinking, keep letting your thoughts out lovely. Sounds like there's alot in there that needs to come out. :) xxx

Ma - I drink Becks Blue with lemonade in, well I do when not low carbing. I do half and half with lime or lemon wedges and it's much nicer. Hope you get some sleep xxx

Edin - rolled up jigsaws? Really? And Ma, gobby? She's our loveable 'Wee Gobshite' only kidding Ma - you just say it how it is and I love that about you :)

Safe journey Edin :) xxx

daisy - I often find that Pot. Kettle. Black springs to mind with people like that. I too am an ex smoker but hate the fact that both of my parents smoke like chimneys. Both have health problems, my mother more so. There is a history of heart disease, diabetes, strokes etc, and my mother has MS, diabetes and has had cervical cancer along with other serious illnesses. I want her to stop smoking, I've begged. She said it's the last vice that she has left so fuck it.

Mature of her but still, it's her life. Not once when I drank myself half to death on a regular basis did she ask me to stop, even though she cannot drink because of her health problems, not once did she say she was worried etc....

So she's an ex drinker - (and she did drink!) but never warned me, talked to me about it, I was an early starter. And I'm an ex smoker and I go on at her.... odd but how it is. I hope that all makes sense? I've confused myself there!

Right, I'm offski. Rain storms here and my pain is bad, DH is off early tomorrow if he makes it through the night, he's got Manious Fluious so we'll see

Night all, take good care and big hugs for those in need xxx

PS - Ladame - I'm hoping it's cooler for you tonight and that you get some sleep.

ma briefly checking in to say look at a Portapuzzle (on phone so can't do links well) - they're essentially a case to keep jigsaws in. I have one and it's fab.

Annie best of luck to you. An open bottle of wine was always a big temptation for me x

Finished the Allen Carr book last night. Still not 100% sure it'll work for me but I was very pleased to go to a party today and not feel particularly envious of those who were drinking. I did drink about 5 cups of tea though and ate a mountain of food to make up for it. One thing at a time eh?

Morning all. No hangover this morning and have started the day pissing myself laughing at the hamster thread on AIBU.

Taking dd2 to Edinburgh today where she will be living for a week during show time. One very bad throat/suspected tonsillitis and 10 solo performances in the Fringe next week - not a good combo. Please send healing throat vibes.

Healing throat vibes floating over from France

Waves to all babes

Goes off to look at hamster thread in AIBU ...

Merci ladame. Thread gets even funnier towards the end once the troll hunter has been dealt with.

OMG it's hilarious. I agree with you about the fish finger, oh the irony of it!

Hi all,
just checking in :)

Ive been doing quite well. Managed 12 Days a/f. On Friday I slipped up and had some larger (cans) kidded self that at 4% that was fine.
I did stop before too much damage was done. Still not great as I had five cans! Hey ho. Felt ok next day and resolve is now stronger. In fact the thought of drink esp larger makes me go yuck.

Hi to ma becks blue how do you find it?
Hi to ladame mouse *edin and everyone else who is aboard or in side car x
Welcome Annie this is a supportive bus to be on! Its helped me face up to my drinking and given me strength where all else has failed.
Love to all x

Well I got through last night alcohol free despite the open bottle in the kitchen. I'm quite pleased that I've managed not to drink on a friday and saturday night, unheard of for me :)

Mouse I think dh does think I'm stressed, anxious, etc and need to unwind. I'm sure he knows he is the cause of it - his irresponsibility, debt, gambling, I could write an essay and fill this thread and the next!! - so he has a pleasanter evening if I relax with a drink and he doesn't get a hard time....I don't know if he tries to control me in other ways, I sort everything out to do with the house, dcs, paying bills, etc. Although I suppose the fact that he negates all responsibility for this, leaving it all to me, might be sort of controlling whilst appearing not to be. Not sure that makes much sense???

Well I intend not to drink tonight (going away tomorrow so shouldn't be too hard). I won't say I'm on day three as I think the minute I have a drink, even just one, I will feel like I'm back to the beginning and will be tempted to give up. I really like Edin's system and think that could work for me.

Morning babes. Sorry to moan then disappear. I am feeling a bit better thanks. Didn't drink saturday then a couple of glasses last night. Am using the rest of the bottle in a casserole tonight and no more drinking for me for the week. It's hard not to fall back on old coping mechanisms when the chips are down but I am not going back to nightly drinking.

Thank you for asking after me and to all those who have commented about my mum. Your right it is such a taboo, people really don't like thinking of drinking as something bad as a large proportion of the population drinks too much and it's a bit unpalatable for everyone. My family is littered with alcoholics, i have alcoholic friends and neighbours. It is everywhere but no one talks about it.

I do feel like I should talk to her but i really don't know if I'll pluck up the courage or find the right time. Sorry not to NC, love to all xx