The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

lol greeny- there isn't really a cure for an addictive personality is there? I am also crap with money and can feel the desire to work obsessively beginning to creep up on me again Oh well,least it isn't the booze any more.

Some AA people are mad Mcmad and like to insist that you do everything right now,their way. But I promise that there are sane,pleasant people too. Not defending Frank- he's a loon.

Best wishes and good luck to anyone on day 3 or whatever. It's harder to resist in this gorgeous weather but think how vile it would be to be hungover in 30 + temperatures tomorrow morning. Yuk!

Purps Just a ((hug)) from me, that's all. I'm in no position to advise anyone at the moment.
OMG babes, I know it's hot over there, but today was 38 degrees; France has issued a severe weather warning, old people are dying ... No-one is sleeping (I've got hot flushes ON TOP of this awful heat.) My plants have all died. Ladame veg garden is practically finished.
I am in the sidecar just to sleep, otherwise I'm awake all night.

The next week is hitting 110 degrees all week. Mouse my chillow is chilly no more.
Baby Hope you're ok.
Inde Have a great holiday lovely girl.
Ma Was Poland cooler ?
Will NC and post soon, but just trying to stay sane in the relentless heat at the mo.
Love to all babes, old and new. Be kind to yourselves. xxxxxx

purple SO good to see you again. Well done you for posting and keeping at it. Sorry the guy from AA was so harsh. I felt the same about a former poster on here called MIFLAW who was very hard hitting and often upset people. The problem is that there is a grain of truth in the bleeding obvious, and that hurts but tough love isn't for everyone and makes some people feel worse.
ladame sounds fabulous over in France. Est-ce que je peux passer in sejour chez vous?
Its warm here in Scotland but we are escaping the worst of the heatwave I think.

Crikey, Ladame, I have booked a house in Sete for August with no air conditioning! I thought it would be so lovely to have a big old house where everyone can come to stay........I had a dream!

DC2 is coming for the whole time, DC1 with Gf for 6 days, and maybe DC2's Gf for a couple of days. I've taken a brave (ish) step and booked through airbnb (a youngsters thing, I think!). I hope it will be ok!

Are you near there, time for a francais catch up
xxx

Purple
I am so sorry for the response that you had from AA. For me, personally, that would have been no help at all, at the time I was feeling bad. A kick up the bottom wasn't what I thought I needed (althought I did!).
Kind words and support, and knowing others had been to the same place did a much better job of it.
Sending you love
xxx

Dame - PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE!!! It really works, not for the whole night but it works. :)

Purps - I just wanted to come back and give you a squidge and say thank you for posting again, we've all been worried about you xxx

Off to watch catch up tv with DH. Night all xxx

Everyone come to stay thurso?
Result! Packs Opal Fruits and Barrie. I'm ready

Hi babes - not too bad here in the North East of England. Hot but not unbearable.

Day four for me - cravings not too bad but I am eating way too much rubbish. Still, at least I am waking up clear headed.

Morning everyone!

Sorry to be incognito a bit. Still here and still sober.

Got an inspection at work today so feeling quite rattled but I ignored the WW's repeated suggestion that some Pinot would help last night and am luckily sitting here now with a clear head.

Loving reading everyone's posts and seeing some old babes returning too, I will back when I have more time later tonight

Have a good day all.
Remember one day at a time just focus on today for now, that's what I'm doing,

Pink X

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Well done Pink - I wish I had your resolve today...... I'm feeling a bit grrr, fat, grrr, hot, grrr, emotional as Nemo has 2 days left at preschool and I think this whole mess has just gotten on top of me.

I need to go, he needs me. Back later xxx

Morning babes! I'd love to come in with a boing but after crappy sleep again and second PT session I just want to lie down!

Well done pink and pawprint

mouse do you have the summer off with nemo before he starts school? Be kind to yourself the next couple of days, sending hugs x

purps how did you get on? Manage to tell the WW to get to fuck? Let us know sweetie.

Well I asked PT what my general level of fitness was, he was very diplomatic but lets just say it's shite he also took some before pics that were even worse. Didn't realise how much my body has changed, i try not to look at it too much and imagine i'm still 20 :)

LOTS of work to be done but I'm gonna fucking do it babes because I AM worth it and this will be the first time I've really invested in me. Guilt on cost subsiding, I'd spend it on the house, family holiday etc but my body is the thing that's got to carry me around for the next however many years what better thing to invest in. The new bathroom can wait. Onwards and upwards. Keep on keeping on babes and enjoy the sunshine, might be the last week of it xx

Huggles much appreciated Mouse as was your (and others) indignation on my behalf. I was in such a bad place at the time that I questioned my own judgement as to whether I deserved that sort of response. Ho hum.

Feeling pretty good today. Reasonable nights sleep. Slight headache - but if that's all I get I'm going to consider myself bloody lucky. Got lots done yesterday and today and feeling calmer. Can't bear that anxious feeling when I've been drinking.

Thanks, too, Jango and of course you can 'join'. Just hoping I get to a massive Day 3 here! Well done you for carrying on carrying on. And thanks to Ladame and Thurso. Ma, good to see you too.

Well done on Day 4 Pawprint! Yeah! And good for you Pink, resisting the call of the dreaded WW.

Hi to Greeny x Did OK yesterday. Had a wobble whilst sitting in church watching DS1 (9) doing his End Of Year play. Tears and stuff. Then the 'Oh, wine!' thought popped into my head but by the time I was driving home (passed the dreaded Corner Shop) I'd forgotten all about it. Forgot to say, yes - have got Campral. Braved the Dr's a few weeks ago but wasn't ready to give them a go. It's good really, as now that I do feel ready, I don't have to wait for an appointment - I can just get on with it. Tuna salad last night and chicken and sesame salad for lunch (ommmnommmnomm!). Lost 3lb since yesterday (I did, sort of, cheat a bit as I weighed myself mid day yesterday after drinking copious amounts of water. Today was first thing. Still, made me smile!). And, yes, of course you are worth it Lovely!! Good on you for making the effort. It will all be worth it in the end. I'm planning on getting back to the gym but can't until the summer hols are over as I've got the children for the full 6 weeks. Ankle is still not quite right (4 months on!) so should give it a few more weeks to recover properly.

Mouse Hope you are feeling a little less stressed? It must be so wearing fighting the authorities for things you should get automatically. And thanks for the second huggle!

Hi to everyone. Off to post a few more e-bay things to the buyers. xxx

PS Am I allowed to drink Diet Coke on a low carb diet? Often wondered.

OK. I drink every night. Not loads. I enjoy it. I also smoke a couple of very weak splifs with it.

Every day just about, I think 'tonight will be the last night, tomorrow I'll stop.'

I have a naice life, in fact I love my life.

I am supposed to be starting my own business, and frankly it's going down the pan because I'm not doing enough work. As soon as I feel it's reached an acceptable time of the day, that's it. It's a glass of wine in hand.

I have not reached some kind of terrible low, but I want to want to give up drinking. Just started the 5:2 diet and the idea of 2 nights of no alcohol per week just seemed genuinely not doable.

It's like I'm doing it to stave off boredom.

Not sure this is the right place to post as my problem is not extreme - but it's genuinely been years and years I have had this problem and I'm afraid I'll look back and see myself as a looser.

Does anyone know of any good books or anything I should take a look at?

Ma I've been thinking about what you said about MIFLAW. I was on an unofficial AA chat forum about 2 or 3 years ago. There was lots of support but they were very pro AA. The men were definitely harsher and, in fact, it was one chap telling me that if I wasn't prepared to go to AA meetings - I clearly didn't really want to give up drinking. I left the forum. 'Frank' wrote No Purple, the people who helped me get sober did not treat me with tact and understanding - they faced me with the truth of my condition, showed me my fate if I looked for sympathy. Maybe it's a gender thing? How's Richard doing? x

Purple yes you can drink diet coke on a low carb diet, but not too much as it can be a laxative!

Thanks White.

White you are in the right place :) a lot of us here have problems with alcohol which wouldn't be considered extreme I don't think. I am an every day drinker of half a bottle of wine (or was :) ) it's s problem for me and therefore a problem! Being fearful of not being able drink everyday is not normal or healthy. Well done for posting here and looking to address it. Wise babes will be along soon with their words of wisdom.

That's bloody marvellous purple your update has made my day :)

Hi White - I echo the others. If it's a problem for you, it's a problem. The problem with booze is that it's a slippery slope from drinking a glass to drinking half a bottle, to drinking a whole bottle. A few years back, I wouldn't have dreamt of drinking more than, say, three glasses a few nights a week. Fast forward to now (although I am on day five of not drinking - my first AF period for a year) and it's a bottle a night (or more) every night.

Last Friday, I hit the so-called Rock Bottom. I ended up getting dreadfully pissed with a female friend and we ended up in bed - neither of us is gay and I am married, so why did it happen? It has been a hard week - getting rid of the booze has taken away my crutch. The booze took the edges of the problems I have, say, with my marriage (my h and I hardly spend anytime together and he doesn't really communicate with me) and yet the guilt and fear it gave me was horrible.

I do feel physically healthier and would recommend you give skipping the booze a go. It is up to you whether you cut down, stop completely or whatever. It may not be easy, but the results are so worth it.

Best of luck :)

Over the last 20 years the amount I have drunk per night has ranged between a third of a bottle of wine per night to one and a half bottles.

Stopped quite easily for pregnancy and BF.

I find it does creep up on me. I've recently gone up to half a bottle from a third, and can see it being a bottle a night again within a few years.

Plus the fact that if I'm drinking then I'll smoke. Either a couple of joints, or chain smoking normal fags. No desire to smoke without a drink in my hand.

I hate the thick headed feeling I have most mornings, the worries about cancer from smoking, and the feeling my life is passing me by in a slight haze.

Before I had my DD I had quite a high level job, but now I am working for myself it's just to easy to think 'ooh, Pims in the garden,' rather than get anything done.

It's weird but I seem to genuinely forget every day that the previous night I'd thought 'I'll stop tomorrow'.

I would love to cut down to maybe once or twice a week. But have been thinking that for years.

Why would that be difficult. I genuinely don't get it.

purps Richard is doing brilliantly thanks. H is moving into his own flat this week! Still with support as there is a warden and he has to check in at the hostel and see his key worker and addiction team, bit another step. He is healthy, happy, sober and positive. He wants to sty with the salvation army indefinitely and become a counsellor for them. Can't believe the change in him. I have my brother back.

So, so pleased Ma. All the hard work and heartache you went through. You did a difficult and amazing thing supporting him and pulling him back from the edge. He's so lucky to have you.

@ Greeny How has your day gone?

ma that is lovely to hear about Richard. I think it just emphasises some of what is on here in purple's posts and others - that we all need to find the best way for us, there is no one-size-fits-all. For Richard it has been the support of Salvation Army, for the original JWN AA was one of her initial supports, for others it is SMART recovery, or medication. We are all different, and different things help each of us.

purple good to see you posting. I completely understand how much the AA response must have shocked you, but remember it was a response from one person, others may have responded differently. So please never let that put you off asking for help. And at the end of the day when you felt down and desperate, at least there was somewhere that you could contact. We may not always get the response we want or need, but sometimes that is better than having nowhere at all that we can turn to.

And I can also empathise with those who have had a harsh response from MIFLAW in the past. I was sometimes at things that were posted. But then 2 days later the original poster would be back to say that it was just what they needed to hear. I know we are all lovely and supportive and kind on here (and that makes it a very safe place to post), but it also makes us very forgiving and accepting and maybe there is also a place for a swift kick up the backside and a big shake of reality. Because the reality is that day by day by day drink is putting our health at risk - our mental health, our physical health, our emotional health. We look for evidence based information about vaccinations or nutrition. Yet where there is evidence (e.g. drinking massively increases the risk of breast cancer) we can conveniently turn a blind eye....

hello whitebird

I smile when I read your posts. I went from high paid job to self employed. It was great. Freedom from the corporate tread mill, flexibility in working hours, direct relationship between working and earning - all good.

And I wasn't coming home late at night stressed and tired and desperate for a drink. Far from it. I could start drinking at 5pm. Or 4pm. I could have a G&T while I was working at my desk. I could do that at 3pm.

OK, I admit that I did miss the business lunches (those ones that included lots of wine) but what-the-heck I discovered that I could have my own little 'business lunch' with a bottle of wine.

I also discovered that running my own business with all the responsibility in my hands meant that eventually the 5pm 4pm-- 3pm G&Ts and the 'business lunch' wine did affect my job, how I did it, and the income I generated.

whitebird you may not be doing what I was ..... yet

So this is a good time to learn some good habits and to put them into practice.

Hi - just a quick one - when I first came on here nearly 12 weeks ago I read the very first threads - MIFLAWs advice was GREAT for me - I agreed with everything he said - reading what he wrote really gave me the incentive to quit completely (I had cut down for. 5 weeks up till then) - whatever works for you works - there is rarely a one size fits all approach to anything - love to all the newbies - see you laters - L x