Who's going to start dating thread No57?

[akaWisey]

Or am I going to be 'one'

Ooh Kirsty yes this man of yours sounds great. What's the plan for tomorrow?

Right then: just got a text update from Keepcalmandkickon and have been instructed to update you lovely folks. It's short and sweet... "fittttttt"
Sounds like he's easy on the eye!

Ha ha great stuff KickOn and Cook!

OWW we are meeting in a really nice bar/restaurant which has a beer garden if it is nice .. He seems great .. Tall, blonde, early forties , fit ( but not do much that he doesn't drink (unlike rocky) ), bit of a joker but sent me a text quite quickly after I supplied my colleague with my number and hasn't bombarded me with texts but replied quickly today when I suggested the venue .. He has been separated for 3 years, has his own place , spends time with his teenaged daughters .. My colleague has known him since primary school

He just feels like more of a potential boyfriend than any of the online guys ( but then I specified I was looking for 'fun' only.. But after a few of them I feel I'd rather have something more)

He sounds fantastic Kirsty you lucky thing. I wish I got set up with men like that! And lovely that he might be potential bf material. Will have everything crossed for you.

Do you know that he is better though broken? You don't want to spend loads of time helping him get over it, especially if he blamed everything on you. What did he blame on you?

Ooh I remember him OWW! Exciting

And what happens if he gets depressed again? He doesn't sound very nice tbh.

No, I agree with Stumped- 'he projected and gaslit blaming it on me when it was his issues that caused it', do you think that that's the kind of behaviour someone who's worthy of your love should be indulging in ?

Lorna Meet Ups can be good for seeing who is out there in your area/age range.I prefer activity based. I myself started going about 3 wks after STBXH instigated a split & I had NO intention of looking for anyone when Mr Right presented himself. Still getting on like a house on fire - at the mo I am discovering how much he makes me laugh!
Broken I echo the other's concerns as you clearly are carrying the torch for your former P, but, on the other hand, there is the old adage " the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one..."

I've got a date!! Did what you said, asked him, in an open non-committal way.. Waited a few hours, and finally he wants to see me without the dcs!

Only problem now is that I have other non- romantic commitments this week, and .. What do I wear?? It's been about 12 years since I last went on a date.

i think it depends what you are doing?

he knows what you look like, so that's one thing you don't have to worry about!

I think somewhere in between "glam nice" and "normal" works? So go for something flattering that compliments your skin and figure, but not "made up to the nines in scary ten inch heels and the latest fashion". also you don't want to LOOK like "hey I'm gonna seduce you tonight", to keep the casual vibe.

It depends what "suits" you - I'm hourglass so look good in a dress and try that for most 1st dates, well fitting jeans tucked into boots and a plain top always go down well... I find men like the colour red. And comfortable shoes.

ps well done!

speaking of clothes, I shall try and look very pretty for my meetup RUNNING group, but not sure how easy that will be though!

Thanks lurkinglorna. It's at quite a 'posh'/upmarket bar in town. Never been there before. Just started a thread in style and beauty for any more ideas! I really have no clue as its been such a long time and I was a student when dating my stbxh.

Tricky thing is that I'm currently a sahm. If I were going straight from work it would be sooo much easier. I don't want to look like I've made too much of an effort but also want to look amazing!

Maybe black shoe boots? With something??

Tired - don't worry about the clothes. Honestly, as long as you're not wearing something outlandish then he probably won't even notice. Go for something you feel good in and that's comfortable. It really doesn't matter.

And great stuff, sounds like real progress!

I'm going to have to refer you back to several of my previous posts on this.
Actually, no.
We generally don't care what you're wearing. If you turn up in a tracksuit then that's bad. A wedding dress, also bad.
Really, we don't notice so much. We're not wired to.
Trousers or jeans we probably couldn't tell if under torture

Just look comfortable for the setting, we'll go with it

Ooh also avoid beige

ha ha yeah I agree, don't think clothes make the difference in attraction.

I actually have started going no make up, which i love, and seem to get on fine! When i was in my insecure early twenties i was always "designer this, dyed hair, painted nails, heels" but i think most men didn't even notice or care!

i think if you fit someone's fundamental physical type for attraction, and they've mentally gone YES, then the packaging doesn't matter?

do like the "dressing up for a date" routine though i must say, changes the routine up a bit!

(admit I am a hypocrite as i sometimes judge a man on his clothes....shhhh!! )

interesting Bant. I was just thinking yesterday how awful I look in beige. Good, glad that's confirmed. Didn't know it was universal!

Do you think he'd notice if I wore the same skirt as I wore previously with him in a totally different (and much much more informal) context? Obviously with a different top and shoes etc.

Thanks for the encouragement. This is great. I don't really want to tell anyone in 'rl' that I am thinking about 'dating' yet.

He won't notice Tired unless its shocking pink or something. I wouldn't notice (and if I did I wouldn't care) if I saw a bloke in the same pair or trousers twice in a row.

When's the date?

Evening all.
Had a second date today with the guy from last night-madness. I've never had two dates do close together since ODing. Bowling and food, was very casual and fun. We're seeing each other again at the weekend I think. I quite fancy him. Not as much as hot guy (for done reason I have placed him on a pedestal and he's really not even that hot, I just find him incredibly attractive) but maybe that will change.

Tired I doubt very very much he would realise its the same skirt

Right then, firstly he is fit, properly fit, nice big arms, gorgeous face, broad shoulders, seriously - really fit.

And then, we actually got on well all evening....lots of jokes, etc

Finished the night with a kiss on the cheek and him saying we should do it again, so am hoping fingers crossed that he liked me. Am going to text him now, just to say nice to meet you, let me know if you fancy meeting up again etc etc

Oh, and he likes iron maiden = score!