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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Who's going to start dating thread No57?

999 replies

akaWisey · 22/06/2013 20:16

Or am I going to be 'one'

OP posts:
Djangounhinged · 22/06/2013 20:50

Ooh there you are! Couldn't work out why my replies on thread 56 weren't appearing (I know, I know. I've had wine)

Lorna thanks for googling iPhone message blocking, hoping there's no repeat performance tonight or I may be tempted to reply, and not in a polite way Confused

I definitely think that's a fitting rule 6, and one I need to remind myself of when I still can't get to the point where someone asks me out on a date Grin

bigstrongmama · 22/06/2013 20:50

Right, I've seen your dating threads before, hope you don't mind me butting in with a question re decorum. Unfortunately not on the grape juice yet, quite jealous!

Anyway, recently separated, it is permanent this time. Last time we separated ex wasted no time and signed up to internet dating in 5 days (after 14 years with me!) And actually had a gf when we got back together (I had no idea).

This time, I feel less heartbroken and more able to get on with things. So my question is, how soon after a breakup is reasonable to move on a bit and start dating? Not looking for anything serious, but would like to meet people and have some fun, flirt a bit...

KinNora · 22/06/2013 20:52

I'm sober Sad

Of course you belong here nfk , come in and have a laugh.

lurkinglorna · 22/06/2013 20:52

nkf

ha ha well I'm on this thread, I'm not "activating" my OD profile at the moment...

I've collected few options (two on off who I have dated and very good chemistry but are working abroad, one who I was in two minds about who I texted goodbye to today, one I am e-mailing haven't met in person who sounds exciting).

No actual prospect of sex soon Sad

But with work KILLER now, to meet new contacts seems a bit too full on. not enough money or energy for the "go out every other night meet someone new".

akaWisey · 22/06/2013 20:53

OWW yes it is.

When all the wine is drunk in my house I should:

  1. go down the co-op and buy some more a packet of tea bags
  2. go to bed.
OP posts:
akaWisey · 22/06/2013 20:56

Django glad to hear you've had wine if nothin else. I've had nothin else too but I think I might be high on paint stripper which is no cheaper than wine by the way.

OP posts:
lurkinglorna · 22/06/2013 20:58

bigstrongmama

I would say get your profile up straight away! no need to marry the first one you meet Smile and i think dating you learn as you go, AND also there are lot of bad first dates or flase starts so the sooner you start the better.

Your ex is ex, that is the past, you should get out there even if its just to have a laugh and a few horror stories!

Snapespeare · 22/06/2013 20:58

I am watching 'up' & I have Wine this will not end well.

Winefiend · 22/06/2013 21:04

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flipper924 · 22/06/2013 21:04

Mama, whenever you're ready. For some people this is a matter of days or weeks, for others it's years.

I have also had grapes. Fizzy grapes. Eldest stepdaughter came for lunch and as she was driving, I had to drink most of the bottle myself.

I'm in an excellent mood, but a little bit miffed that I have no one to go out with this evening, when I really fancy an impromptu night out. My only local single friend is busy, and even Mr 3DD appears to be entertaining, so I'm stuck in. I've got to the point where I'm actually happy with life as it is, except for the fact that I have no one to play with!

stopusingmynicknames · 22/06/2013 21:05

I have a first date tomorrow evening with an OD guy. Am trying not to invest too much emotionally (as per 'The Rules'). he does seem very nice though. We're going for a drink - is it ok to wear jeans on a first date???

akaWisey · 22/06/2013 21:05

bigstrongmama get out there and just do it. Honestly, with all its surprises, shocks, successes and failures you will grow from it. Smile

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brokenhearted55 · 22/06/2013 21:08

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akaWisey · 22/06/2013 21:08

winefiend was it the dog who shouts like a fishwife or you? This could be crucial for the 2014 Britains got fuck-all talent comp.

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Winefiend · 22/06/2013 21:08

This reply has been deleted

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Flipper924 · 22/06/2013 21:09

Wine, my street have also seen me chasing after dog in bare feet and pyjama bottoms. Not to mention the time he wriggled under the front gate and I had to forceably remove him (imagine scruffy orange westie-sized terrier) from the neck of grumpy neighbour's German shepherd. Dog loves German shepherds, he was playing.

brokenhearted55 · 22/06/2013 21:11

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Winefiend · 22/06/2013 21:12

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Winefiend · 22/06/2013 21:14

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akaWisey · 22/06/2013 21:16

brokenhearted. I can't ignore that yearning. Don't do it, don't contact him. If it was as you think he'll reach that conclusion himself.

In the meantime you just do what you need to get over it, who knows what's in the future?

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 22/06/2013 21:17

Hello nkf - you belong on here as much as anyone. I think you'll know when you're ready, and often the deed follows very close behind the thought. Any advice or hand holding needed, or just for general meandering about dating, then this is the right place.

Flipper924 · 22/06/2013 21:19

55, to echo what others have said before, have you still got healing to do? Getting back in the saddle can be a good way of getting over someone, but not every time. I'm sorry if the following sounds harsh, it is meant with the very best of intentions, but I'm a bit sceptical about the 'it was amazing right from the word go' type relationships. When the fireworks are over, quite often one party does realise that there isn't much underneath.

Stop, I go for jeans as they're usually flattering. I would do as Wine says though, and wear with heels. Don't forget to let us know how it goes!

OhWesternWind · 22/06/2013 21:21

Sorry last message took ages to post due to crappy Internet connection.

Nickname - tell us more about him then .., and wear whatever the hell you want. I tend to go for trousers and a nice top. No point starting off pretending to be something/someone you're not.

Snapespeare · 22/06/2013 21:23

Everyone belongs here, whether they are just starting out, seasoned and a little cynical, ohdearGOD loved up, on the sofa of rest, lurking, waiting... We missed 'all welcome' in the thread title...ALL are welcome. :) do say hi. :)

Flipper924 · 22/06/2013 21:25

Whoops, forgot to welcome nkf. I'm not actively dating at the moment, it's not a prerequisite of the thread.

Disclaimer: i'm not actively avoiding dating. I'd be there like a bloody shot if anyone decent actually asked me out.