Who's going to start dating thread No57?

[akaWisey]

Or am I going to be 'one'

[bigstrongmama]

Right, have a profile on an online d site. Think I sound a bit scary though. But have described myself well! Really can't bring myself to put a photo on yet. Sure that means no one will contact me, but it is a start, hey?

[OhWesternWind]

That programme was terrible Nickname - I never look anything like that on a first date (or ever). And I usually have better conversations ...

I really think the thing about you being rejected is the wrong way to think about it. I know what you mean, but honestly the real problem is finding a man who's good enough/right for you. Most of the men I've met have been pleasant but it's just there is no real spark between us. That's so rare and it's not a matter of rejection, just people not being right for each other.

Hey hope you're doing okay today sweetheart.

[OhWesternWind]

Good luck Mama and yep it's a good start. See how you feel about putting a photo up in a while as I think it does help, or maybe have a private photo or one you can send if there's someone that interests you. There are ways round it.

[lurkinglorna]

Oh dear man I have been e-mailing has not replied to my last one.

Had a gap of about a week as i was away and last nite sent him a cheerful "hey look at my holiday pics" one.

No stress as his job is quite travelly and we haven't met and it was more "sending proper e-mails" rather than using a chat program so no real hurry.

But it would have been nice to get on with contact again and I guess he's the last appealing option for dating this summer.

Be cool me, be cool.

[lurkinglorna]

SITTING AND STARING AT MY EMPTY INBOX WILL NOT HELP.

[OhWesternWind]

Oh Lorna I hope he replies soon. He could well be away with work, or busy doing weekend things. Plenty of time to get some summer lovin' going - main problem will be finding the summer ...

[lurkinglorna]

Thanks OWW. I am waiting for big work chage to happen this summer, so feels like a man distraction would be nice - it is fine for me to be long term single but i want at least a romantic cuddle soon (and this man seemed good for a nice fling - seen a clip of him at work and physically is for me) .

i think i will have a bath....and remember Rule that it is BS until it isn't....

[kittymchotpress]

l like rule number 6...and kind of sorts my query from hours ago.... No drink here, gah...not even any magic bru. I took 18 months to get even anywhere near this alien land of dating. and now I think I'm the one with the ishoos as my inner fuckwit takes over the minute I think I like someone...and that's meant to be the, er, fun bit. Aaaaaggggghhhhhh. how do you train yourself to realise it's not that important, whatever way it pans out?

[lurkinglorna]

well it IS important or if you just felt nothing or weren't uncertain

(1) you wouldn't be human

(2) it might mean you were taking the "safe option" and going for man who you didn't actually fancy just as he was "low risk". Like we all have Mr I Don't Really Care About Who Will Never Leave Me in our lives, but we want to go for men more in our league.

But its not "that" important that you need to be unhappy because of it.

i am philospher tonight!

[kittymchotpress]

philosophise away, it's good . aye ok it is important...and I can't date someone unless I genuinely like them...I think I just can't handle feeling vulnerable, but I spose no one likes that. onwards....

[Kirstywirsty]

Marking my place .. I have a RL date on Monday with a friend of a colleague .. Seemed lovely when I met him

[OhWesternWind]

It's just time that does it, Kitty, and natural cynicism. I was so naive when I started dating and I honestly believed I would meet The One within a couple of weeks, if not actually on my first date. Sadly that didn't happen (no shit, Sherlock) but it will do some day and in between I'm having some nice nights out and know a heck of a lot more about bitumen, biscuit production and optometry than I did before.

Must admit though that despite myself I am getting a bit excited about next week's dates. Am not as jaded as I think I am, maybe.

Rule 6 is my favourite quote of all time. It has brought me comfort for many years through all sorts of shite and I'm glad it helps other people too.

He sounds great Lorna and so does the change at work. Exciting times. And yes, a bath always helps ...

[KinNora]

Yes, agree completely with OWW Rule No. 6 is the life raft to cling onto - so much so that I bought myself a necklace and had ' all will be well' engraved on the back, that way if I start feeling overtaken by hopelessness then I turn my pendant over and remind myself that things will get better.

Also the necklace is from a jeweller called 'The Hairy Growler' which never fails to amuse me.

[kittymchotpress]

thanks OWW...on reflection my skin is much more rhino esque than a year ago. Maybe eternal optimism isn't such a bad mind state, despite the obvious pitfalls . Hope alpha man turns up trumps. and kirsty a RL date? V exciting

[HeyBeenTryingToMeetYou]

Pissed. Wheeeeeeee. We're all going to heaven lads........

[nkf]

I don't think I can do this dating stuff. Reading this thread makes it sound so scary.

[Bant]

Morning all.
nkf it doesn't have to be scary. There can be the butterflies in stomach, nervousness, let-downs and disappointment, but also excitement, laughter, kissing, sex and that feeling of walking on air when you've just met someone amazing.

Like anything worth having, there is risk.

If you're not ready to date, don't do it. And if its not fun, stop. But it can be lots and lots of fun. More so when there's a bunch of random Internet strangers to support you in meeting other random Internet strangers.

[StrictlySalsaDancingDiva]

Just had to say thank you Bant for yesterday's Tim Minchin link! I love a bit of Tim!

[T2710]

Morning all. Haven't had a chance to catch up with the thread yet. Hope everyone had a good Saturday evening.

Date last night was a good one. Was out rather a long time for a first date and he seemed to tick off quite a bit on the old checklist. He straight up asked about second date, so I think he liked me, but will wait for it to be raised again.
My coffee date for today has been postponed, by him. I think we're seeing each other thurs evening. I think he could have potential too.
Mac is still on the scene too. I need to man up and say something but when I'm with him I do really enjoy his company.

[lurkinglorna]

woop Woop he e-mailed!

just a short "i am making contact to let you know i am busy working X location but will contact you when I am at Y" one so I replied a short one line back - but:

1. has not gone off dating someone else -which is fine and of course his right in priniciple as we haven't met but i do like the look of him
   

1. has shown he is dependeble and organised with contact - which is important to me, i am not that patient when dealin with men who need chasing up and reminding!
   

[kittymchotpress]

@nkf...I find dating scary, but that doesn't mean it is scary, hell, some people seem to positively enjoy it! I'm going to keep on with the aversion therapy. who knows even I might manage to lighten up a bit

[KinNora]

Morning everyone,
Good news 'T' and 'Lorna' and yes I have, Broken, just in case nerves were getting in the way etc. I wouldn't give them a chance if they'd irritated me though.

[JulietteMontague]

Broken yes I've had second dates when there was no spark but everything else seemed to be in place. I've found I can warm to someone more on a second date but there has to be a hint of a spark to start with.

[lurkinglorna]

@brokenhearted

I am just saying my "personal opinion" on this....would be interested to see what other write.

I have been on second dates when I thought "well I should give them a second chance".

there is quite a bit of dating advice that says women should look for mr. "ok but not amazing" . especially if they are "good on paper in terms of qualifications and jobs"!

(my ex was a City guy, and i think "cultural expectation" said i had to treat him as a really good prospect even though he was a bit weird - good job aside he was a really embarassing, unattractive, awkward man. he remarried soon after our divorce and i am pretty sure the high six figure salary helped!).

It never really worked? I just ended up feeling a bit rubbish and the guy trying to touch me gave me the creeps!

Can you get back on internet dating and just build up some more contacts? I think it takes time to find good ones! How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Are you after marriage/kids at some point?