Who's going to start dating thread No57?

[akaWisey]

Or am I going to be 'one'

Hope you all have a good day...

And 'Hey, hey, hey! Let's be careful out there.'

wff - I'm fast coming to that conclusion myself. Already had, to be honest. It's not that she's vacuous or boring, just that she's not engaged/engaging enough. If she wasn't so pretty I'd have forgotten about her already.

Yes, I'm that shallow. Who've thunk it?

AWFF I am going to go to the gym a lot and see friends and perhaps do sone cleaning in my flat in prep for moving out end of August .. I've hidden my profiles and have no intention of seeing or even chatting with anyone else .. I don't know what it is but it just feels very different from the online dates

Morning thread.

OWW, am all smiley for you. It all sounds very positive.

Kirsty, likewise.

Bant, she really is expecting you to do all the legwork, isn't she? I think shallow is ok, it's good to be able to operate on different levels.

@ WFF

Bant I know an intelligent, attractive man who did the same. Very similar thing. Not sure what the point of saying that was, just maybe that it's a thing.

WFF He arrives Saturday.

Kirsty that will be a lot of gym then

Morning

Bant I agree, she doesn't sound worth it

OWW - hello firstly :) and your date sounded perfect (though the no snog would irk me too!)

I ended things with Mr Distant last night. After all these years of knowing him, he wasn't in the same place as me. We were not dating apparently, we were 'seeing each other'. What does that even meeean? That's not a thing in my possibly insane head. He has a lot going on ATM, I may expect too much, but I wasn't happy and it wasn't fun so what's the point. He says he wants time to think about it. Whatever, that's up to him. I'm happy with having ended it, and also very pleased that even he has no hold over me :o

Been missing in action from this thread!

Mr Lovely is still lovely. I saw him briefly on Sunday night and again last night and we've made provisional plans for him to stay over next weekend. I'm still surprised at how nice this all is - everyone keeps telling me it's normal but I'm not au fait at all with how normal works.

I like him - a lot. The feeling seems to be mutual so we'll see. I'm still trying not to overinvest, but so far everything is looking good.

@ A WarmFuzzyFuture

oh my god I just clicked on the first "cheap as chips" dress and I want it SO much...no lorna, you have nowhere to bloody wear it bargain though, very flattering!

hello all!

Bant yeah just enjoy the cheshire cat for what it is! reckon its not a problem if you enjoy bit of casual flirting every now and then, as long as you aren't turning down other options?

was chatting with my mate and talked about the german word Sehnsucht basically means its human nature to have "longing" for something else. whether it be another life...or a beautiful woman

if you are dating guess it applies to those we meet who are interesting and appealing but FAR too difficult to date. like i met one guy early this year who is charming and cool, but deffo can't meet my emotional needs - you know when you do the whole "well if only he was a little bit more.... he'd be perfect" ?

So casually kept touch with him (when i live nearer might meet for a drink, yes he is so so charming) BUT not turned down any other options and kept looking, that's my compromise so i'm not doing the whole "one who got away" thing in my head but not wasting time pining after him either!

whoop whoop on all the good dates!

Hello SAR! I think you've made a good call ending things with MrDistant. It would never have come right, sounds like he is a real have his cake and eat it type.

Bant oh dear, it does sound a bit tiring dealing with CC. She sounds like a real queen bee holding court in her circle of admirers. The problem with some people who've had it easy in that way is that they can tend to become a little selfish and don't feel they have to make an effort with people as all the geese come to them regardless. Couldn't be doing with it myself.

Kirsty this is all sounding very good! Shame it's such a long time to wait but it will go very quicky.

And Nora - so what's all this then? Any more messages of that type today? Good stuff!

Feeling very positive about Alpha today but keeping a grip (I hope) and remembering the Rules. It is all great fun at the moment, very distracting when I am trying to get some work done. Maybe having a bit of a build-up and taking it slowly is the way to go. I think this works better for me than sleeping with someone early on, but I'm hoping we will at least have a kiss next time. I'm just a bit worried in case it means he doesn't fancy me, but he does seem quite enthusiastic so perhaps I should just stop that train of thought. I do really like him so far, he is very attractive and great company. Gorgeous Scottish accent too.

Hello all, have been lurking on here for a while as joined POF a couple of weeks ago and ended up with a date with a guy the other night who it turns out lives around the corner from me! Is a little weird. It went quite well and he wants to meet again and seems quite keen. My best mate reckons I should see him again, and although he is quite attractive, not sure if there is a spark? The thought of being intimate with someone new makes me feel a bit strange too, have only been out of my long term relationship for 4 months, do you think that means I am not yet ready for dating, or is it normal to feel like this?

@ OWW Alphascot sounds gorgeous , accents are lovely.

i guess just have to see how it pans out with the physical stuff ? i also personally have a preference for a bit of physical contact sooner rather than later if into the guy - dirty old me . But s'pose there are different attitudes out there so perhaps just play it by ear and see what the next date reveals! I can imagine its hard for men to call, especially if they are quite old fashioned and want to impress the woman so don't want to be seen as physically pushy or pervy! (and then the ones we DON'T fancy are physically pushy. Argh!)

@ huddyblell could be that you don?t fancy him enough?

just cause ?on paper? he looks attractive, doesn?t mean you ?have? to do anything you don?t want to do.

i have slept with men on 1st/2nd date but only if i feel 100% comfortable. and my "goals" are not a living together relationship so i don't mind casual dating. everyone is different.

i don't think you're "not ready for dating". keep on dating. but in terms of sex etc, do what feels comfortable for YOU, no need to jump into bed just cause that?s what you think others are doing ? you can do it when you feel the time is right, whether it is 1st date or 4th date or when you are "official". don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything, or feel you have to have sex. and remember safe sex etc!

huddyblell I agree - I don't think that you're not ready, but that it might be he's not right. I was 7/8m out of of a LTR when I started OD. I chatted to a few really nice guys and thought the same - 'maybe I'm not ready' etc. The thought of getting up close and personal with any of them just made my toes curl. And not in a good way.

Then I started chatting to Mr Lovely. Got up close on date #1, pretty damn personal on date #2 and totally can't wait for him to stay over next week. Everything with him seems natural and comfortable, right from the very first kiss. Yet yesterday another man touched my arm as we said goodbye and I had to stop myself from flinching. So I know that it's not me, it's that Mr Lovely is the right one (right now anyway).

If you want to give Mr Round-the-corner another date then do so, but don't force a spark if one is not there. And keep going. You'll find someone who makes the fear of being intimate seem far away

OWW, I bet he does fancy you, it's better to take it slow in the beginning.

Does anyone watch the millionaire dating show, she goes mad if they try it on straight away and says 'No sex until monogamy'.

Also watched a programme which featured apps for dating. 'Grinder' for gay men, they have no qualms with casual hook ups. Makes me wonder if some hetro men would behave this way if they can find women who are up for it to. There is one for straight people linked to facebook and I reckon it will take off with the younger ones and be the next thing in dating.

OWW he texts you daily, he says he looks forward to seeing you. He has dates with you. Which bit of this says he doesn't fancy you? Any more of that and I'll be down to the fishmongers.

Huddy we are all different. I have rarely met a man on OD and immediately thought I could have sex with him. Others do. I have sat across from several attractive men and tried to imagine having sex with them and just eww. He may be a nice man, he may be a 10 in the looks department but it doesn't mean that if there is no spark that you are not ready. When it's right, it's right.

huddy

ps just to add, in my experience i have to date a LOT before i find that good chemistry/spark. it is out there, but have to be patient!

bit horrid sometimes at the start feeling like you've been out with lots of men and not once had that "ok" feeling, but it doesn't mean there is something wrong with me or that i should question myself and my own emotions, and "settle" for one who is just "ok" for the sake of it.

i mean i know i'm not too fussy in terms of waiting for brad pitt, but if it doesn't feel right i just feel really yucky about the physical stuff.

(and like juliette /Thetitle said someone can be very good looking - just not for me!)

Hello everybody, some good dating news around at the moment which is nice to see.

OWW of course he fancies you - he's just being all courteous 'n' shit and treating you like the laydee what you are.

No real news from me, apart from the bloke who annoyed me the other day has sent another message - I think he thinks we're having, in the words of Mrs Merton, 'a heated debate' whereas I just think he's a pompous windbag.

I'm not googling the new photo of Talent Show and thinking about sexing him to death, oh no not me

Kin why is it that you can't sex him to death? I thought he was keen.

I wouldn't do Brad Pitt these days. No, really. Not since Thelma and Louise and that was a long time ago.

Kin why is it that you can't sex him to death? I thought he was keen.

I wouldn't do Brad Pitt these days. No, really. Not since Thelma and Louise and that was a long time ago.

Clearly, I really wanted to get that point across

Yep, we got that Juliette

I think he's keen, he seemed it yesterday but then who can tell ? He does live in the Midlands so it'd take a bit of travelling but frankly as long as I can find a decent hotel, I'm alright with that.

Kin could he come round your parts visit near you?

I think I'd probably rather visit him, it makes me feel more in control, like I did with Software.

(Sorry for the delay, I was spatchcocking my chicken)