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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

oooh i feel ridiculous

441 replies

ImNotBloody14 · 21/06/2013 20:21

So silly. I'm a NCing regular. and a real proper grown up, I swear

I fancy someone. But I cant get up the guts to let him know or even to contact him. I've added him on FB (it's taken me months to build up to that) and he accepted. he's liked a few of my posts and a photo. I keep seeing him online (butterflies) and want to make contact but cant think of anything to say that isn't a blatant excuse to get talking to him. AFAIK he's single- well it says so on his FB.

arrgh this is so frustrating. if this was my best friend she would be chatting away to him no problem.

don't know what i'm posting for- just need to get this out of my head.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 21/07/2013 11:53

You didn't reply, did you?

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 12:07

No i didnt reply. Even drunk i knew what that meant

OP posts:
makemineamalibuandpineapple · 21/07/2013 12:12

Sorry to hear that OP. You did the right thing not to reply though.

TheSilveryPussycat · 21/07/2013 12:22

Unintended consequence of the introduction of text messaging to the world Confused. Not a problem in my young day. Grrr on your behalf.

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 12:47
Grin

I know! Bloody modern technology making it so much easier to know 'he's just not that into you'

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 21/07/2013 13:36

Grin An advantage then, possibly, in the tricky task of sorting the wheat from the chaff... In my young day it was 'will he phone', now there are all sorts of indicators to process - how long people take to reply to texts, how many kisses, is his phone off/out of charge/out of range etc etc

WhiteBirdBlueSky · 21/07/2013 13:42

Ah well, fun whilst it lasted.

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 13:45

Well thats true. Cant complain about that tbf

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 21/07/2013 14:05

And in my teens there was 'if I shig him will he still respect me in the morning' Wink not that I did much shigging in my teens...my twenties though...

Episode · 21/07/2013 14:43

Sorry I have been lurking not commented until now! ! Dont be disheartened OP... I'd def call my love interest on the way back from a night out! In fact half our taxi is usually filled with ladies doing just that. Im taken so not me anymore but it doesn't necessarily transpire that he's after one thing! Perhaps he just wanted your company at 2am when he otherwise would never have the confidence to ask! Smile

Numberlock · 21/07/2013 15:07

Why no contact since Tuesday though?

Episode · 21/07/2013 15:18

Ohhhh didn't see the no contact bit.... Unfortunately that changes a lot Sad

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 15:41

I dont know numberlock

OP posts:
Numberlock · 21/07/2013 18:14

From your early posts it seemed that at the start you'd both set the scene for a casual fling; the first 'dates' consisted of meeting at each other's houses, watching films etc, with the first proper dinner date only happening after a few weeks, if I'm correct.

Unless you had a conversation where you stated you were looking for a relationship, perhaps he assumed you were happy with FWB?

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 18:27

Yes that's right. We didnt have any sort of conversation. Its the drop in contact that is annoying me. If it had been so little from the start i wouldnt be annoyed but it wasnt- it was throughout everyday then suddenly nothing. Maybe he just got bored.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 21/07/2013 18:44

As an old gimmer I would say life can suddenly catch up with you and take over, and (in the nicest possible way) a new relationship eats into one's free time. Also people vary in how much they text - maybe he can't keep up the rate (snurt) for long, though made the effort at the start. So I am inclined to agree a little with Episode...

Keep calm and fingers crossed.

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 19:00

So should i just let him make the next contact ( if there is any)?

OP posts:
TheSilverySoothsayer · 21/07/2013 19:05

Yup :)

He may not have contacted you as he might have felt bad about not being able to invite you to whatever he was doing on Saturday. Wait for him to make the next move, don't give him grief, see what happens next.

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 19:11

Yep thats what i was thinking.

OP posts:
WhiteBirdBlueSky · 21/07/2013 22:03

So did you send the last text? How many texts have you sent without a reply from him?

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 22:58

We had lunch on sunday, all lovely- no indication he wasnt as into it as before or as i was. We got on great like all the times before. I text him on sunday evening he replied. In monday it was his first day back at work after 2 weeks annual leave and he had been grumbling about not wanting to go back while the weather was so good so i text monday saying 'have a great day back at work' with a big cheesy grin to show i was teasing him. He didnt reply. The next message was tuesday- i text asking if he wanted to go to the cinema that evening an he replied ' im going with friends sorry' i didnt reply. And that was the last contact until 2am this morning when he text saying 'hey his are you' ( drunk spelling of how Grin). I didnt reply to that as it was clearly a drunken booty call, i had friends in and we were having a drink and tbh i was pissed off about it.

OP posts:
TheSilverySoothsayer · 21/07/2013 23:05

I think I might have texted back 'pissed Wink' in your circumstances, what with me being awake and depending how drunk I myself was.

WhiteBirdBlueSky · 21/07/2013 23:05

Hmm, so it was a bit of a holiday romance? Maybe adjust your settings to 'casual' and see if he still appeals.

TerraNotSoFirma · 21/07/2013 23:19

He wouldn't have been huffy at the back at work joke would he?

Original poster
ImNotBloody14 · 21/07/2013 23:19

I really dont want to go down the casual route- ive been there and im done with it. Id be lying to myself and him if i said that was all i wanted.

You could be right about him just thinking it was a holiday thing. It looks that way anyway.

OP posts: