dp just blew up at me again and im terrified.

[tyedye]

Im in trouble again and i want to leave but i cant,i cant protect myself or my kids from it,all verbal so far,feel so bad ive stated cutting myself again.

Thanks blueteddy. Tyedye what is happening are you ok?

Tyedye....firstly i got your email, havent had a chance to reply yet hun but just wanted to say thanks...and your welcome!

secondly what you have said about your Ds just shows that this is no longer affecting only you, but also your kids.
Yes your DS will be upset when you leave but i can promise you that if you stay the violence will become worse and he will be far more upset at seeing it!
you are being incredibly brave and you just need to keep your strength up as much as you can.
these days when your geting ready to leave are the hardest...pretending that nothing has changed so that he doesnt prevent you going.

have you decided on where you will go? if your entering a refuge then they can help you sort the legalities out...if your staying with freinds or family maybe you could start getting things moved out now..in preparation for you leaving,...it will help you know thats its happening, help your mind sort it out.

im still here for you hun and am happy to speak on msn if you have it.

I thought i was doing a reasonable"lets pretend"but he suddenly said last night that it was obvious i really hate him when we went to bed,i cant have sex with him,id rather tear his throat out.But if i dont i cant keep the peacei am preparing to have a major sort out,we agreed that we need to move-i didnt mention separately!I a going to store stuff at friends,so if he blows again i can go without trying to take the mountain to mohamed in the process!I can secrete bags on my journeys to the tip to put away.I HATE HIM.

I am glad you feel so positive about it tyedye and remember those feelings!

Sounds like a good idea taking stuff to the friends house. It is always good to have a bolt hole ready in these situations. I left a suitcase and credit cards at my dads for months.

It is very hard to carry on as normal when things are very wrong in your relationship & they do get wise. I hope he is not blowing up on you atm.
Glad to hear you are making plans, tyedye. Well done.x

i remember those days of pretending too. its so difficult especially at bed time....i almost wanted him to kick off sometims to give me the impotus to actually leave....i new i wanted to but i just needed the kick up the bum. iykwim

i just remember feeling incredibly confused and very alone....i still hadn't actually told anyone about what was going on, although my family had a pretty good idea anyway.

your doing incedibly well and its definatly a good idea to start trying to move things....i kno he is saying you should move but still be very carefull when moving things...i know you have the excuse of putting things into storage but the last thing you need is for him to get suspicious now.

as always im here if you need me

i remember those days of pretending too. its so difficult especially at bed time....i almost wanted him to kick off sometims to give me the impotus to actually leave....i new i wanted to but i just needed the kick up the bum. iykwim

i just remember feeling incredibly confused and very alone....i still hadn't actually told anyone about what was going on, although my family had a pretty good idea anyway.

your doing incedibly well and its definatly a good idea to start trying to move things....i kno he is saying you should move but still be very carefull when moving things...i know you have the excuse of putting things into storage but the last thing you need is for him to get suspicious now.

as always im here if you need me

Tyedye, I've just been lurking but I wanted to say good luck, you are doing the right thing, and I hope WA helps you through this terrible time [hugs]

Thanks everybody,he keeps provoking me by having a go,and then twisting things and saying HE is always being shouted at etc..bonkers!

remember that tyedye! He is bonkers you are not! Take care.

one of our catalogues i put in his name,and apparently im ripping him off!?

thats this afternoons paranoid obsession anywayim a very honest person.he moved in with me with barely the shirt on his back,i was stable financially,no mortgage,now we are in awful debt,and he wont even let me get a job.

How are the moving plans going?

crap,thanks,kids too hot and grizzly to free me up!

Hes a prize shit isnt he!?

He scared the wits out of our little son today,because hed knocked the dogs water over BOVVERRED!!!!!!!!!never thought hed rave at him(5)his little face,he said he was sorry in a tiny voice.

Your poor DS.
Hope you manage to escape soon, tyedye.

God tyedye you are being very very strong and we are all behind you. It is the emotional stuff that is so hard to quantify. My kids have stopped crying now over loosing something or breaking something and cheerfully say its a good job dads not here! It does get better honest!

Its funny you should mention losing something GF,he goes totally nuts if he loses something,its always my fault,even when it isnt!!!

Hi tyedye - Don't know if you've seen my thread on the go at the moment... but I understand where you are just now and wanted to offer some support.

H and I split last week after I had him arrested for assaulting me....and he hasn't even contacted the kids since.

Anyway, I hope you find the strength to get out of this relationship.

Wheres your thread toothache?x

hes at it again,and its my bastard birthday.

u okay tyedye, been following your thread today but not contributed before, but its a bit quiet on here tonight and I didn't want you to think you were being ignored - is your little one okay now?

Tyedye tell us what is happening.

Oh no. I hope you are ok tyedye.