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Original poster

Not important, but is this a red flag?

117 replies

sillymillyb · 01/06/2013 20:32

Only been on 2 dates with this guy so not invested at all - he is a police officer on duty in a busy part of town tonight.

Have just received a text saying he is playing "spot the skank and whore"

That's not ok is it? Or is it and I'm overreacting?

My gut reaction was that I didn't like it, but I can't work out if I'm being precious! Think ill stick with being single, this dating malarkey is hard work!

OP posts:
oopsadaisymaisy · 01/06/2013 20:36

What do you mean? What's play the skank and whore? I would have to immediately him someone who even used that language.

LeoTheLateBloomer · 01/06/2013 20:36

Singledom definitely sounds preferable.

oopsadaisymaisy · 01/06/2013 20:37

Oh, and Yes, dating is hard work but there are lots of really lovely guys out there too :)

RiotsNotDiets · 01/06/2013 20:38

Urgh dump him. What a knob

MissFenella · 01/06/2013 20:40

tell him you have just won spot the knobber - and never contact him again!

rainbowfeet · 01/06/2013 20:41

Was married to a copper for 7 years, pretty typical behaviour in my experience!! Mainly all bravado & being part of the team.. Doesn't make them bad people but I found in general they have little empathy for anyone they deem to be .... How do I put it???... A little "shameless" like??!! Shock Can't think of how to put it, but my ex & colleagues are all a bit up themselves I'm afraid!!!

Original poster
sillymillyb · 01/06/2013 20:43

Thank you for replying - my judgements have been way off in the past so wanted to check.

I think he means that the girls in town don't wear much (sorry can't remember who asked what he meant) but I haven't replied yet.... Was on the fence about seeing him again so this has made the decision up for me.

Should I tell him why? How do I phrase that?!

OP posts:
TurnipCake · 01/06/2013 20:45

After two dates it would be a dealbreaker for me. Once went out with a guy who texted me from a club saying that all the women there were gutter trash. Gross.

YoniBottsBumgina · 01/06/2013 20:46

Sounds like a twat.

Don't bother saying anything - you won't educate him, he'll just put you in a box named "irritating feminist type" and move on with his life. Put him in a box named "misogynist wankers" and move on with yours :)

A1980 · 01/06/2013 20:46

It might be an in joke from work that they all share amongst each other. Ask him if it is and say you don't care for the language.

If thats the only thing he's done then maybe another chance.

Chubfuddler · 01/06/2013 20:47

It does make them bad people rainbow feet.

Dump op. and be glad of the early warning.

LEMisdisappointed · 01/06/2013 20:48

Absolutely disgusting Angry I'd drop him like a lead weight yuck

YoniBottsBumgina · 01/06/2013 20:48

BTW, it is a red flag because it indicates that he has sexist attitudes towards women, even if he sees you as different from "skanks and whores" he will likely still have some hugely sexist opinions about women in general which will come out later in the relationship.

Queenmarigold · 01/06/2013 20:48

Sounds like police talk to me, it wouldn't bother me unless there were other things that concerned me... I'm not a bad judge of character though generally.

MissStrawberry · 01/06/2013 20:50

after 2 date3 shouldn't he still be behaving

Chubfuddler · 01/06/2013 20:52

Police talk?

Seriously people think it's ok for the police to talk about people like this?

No fucking wonder the paedophile rings in Oxford and Bradford went on so long.

I despair.

Theselittlelightsofmine · 01/06/2013 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 01/06/2013 20:52

Yeah, walk away.

Chubfuddler · 01/06/2013 20:53

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS "POLICE TALK"?

Are you all stoned?

Original poster
sillymillyb · 01/06/2013 20:54

Rainbow my ex was a copper too so I remember the games and language they use, and that they think its harmless. I think the reason why I wasn't sure how to react, is because I dont think I want to be with someone who think that way even in jest. But that's alien to me as I've put up with some awful crap in the past and it feels strange to draw a line in the sand so to speak!

Thank you everyone for making me feel like I wasn't overreacting!

OP posts:
A1980 · 01/06/2013 20:57

Police talk is the same as legalise or.doctor speak.

I'm.a..solicitor do.you think my colleagues.and I speak about our difficult clients with the utmost.l respect to.each other or doctors: do you think doctors are all loved up or play spot the junkie, drunk etc?

Seriously.chill......

Chubfuddler · 01/06/2013 21:00

I'm a solicitor too. I've never described a client as a skank, or a junkie or any other perorative term. So I won't "chill" if it's ok with you.

Lweji · 01/06/2013 21:03

There are all kinds of professionals as there are people,
Twat police officers and nice police officers.
and so on

Chubfuddler · 01/06/2013 21:04

Yes and the twats shouldn't be in the job

A1980 · 01/06/2013 21:06

That is true.actually. We don't name call clients.

But being.friends with a load.of medics from uni, they did.