Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

[lubeytoobooby]

Woop! Lubes is BACK :o

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

its a fucker when that happens huh.

i dont know why its so difficult..... my latest dating disasters have included a coffee with a guy who found it appropriate to tell me he liked to shag grannies when he was younger, gave me intimate details of this and then was baffled when i didnt want to see him again.
AND
a 6 week or so thing with a guy who it turns out only dated me because hes a bit of a stalker of an important man in my life and knew i was friends with him. So, my ego was left smarting when i realised that was the only reason he shagged me.

Its just how dating is, bit of luck and a bit of hope and absolutely no rhyme or reason. On paper you can wonder why its so difficult because you have so much to give and have all these wonderful qualities, and of course we are all so lovely, of course we deserve it ( and really, who doesnt deserve love) But as velv says up thread, life doesnt really work on a sliding scale of the deserving.

Just to say bant's 13 profile pointers are spot on. He knows his stuff and I agree with them all.

I think there is a train of truth in what watch says. After 4 years of hoping (some) first dates will hit the spot and you'll both want to see each other again, then it's very difficult to keep painting on a smile, point your chin skywards and stick your tits about a bit further. Repeated sticking out ones tits causes one to fall over. There's a limit to how endlessly resilient one can be in those circumstances and I think the relief of getting to date2+ with C and breaking that 4 year run has, to a degree, allowed you to be more accepting of his communication difficulties (up to this point)
I would treat this as the end of any relationship, allow a period of mourning, leave your chin where it is until you decide what to do with it. Have a nice nesting period of looking after yourself and ignore any coupley-woupley friends for a bit. when you're ready to date again, date again but you need to decide when that is. :)

Please be kinder to yourself V you are not repulsive, far from it. He is out there somewhere, he's just being a bit elusive. :) if he isn't then he's an idiot and you don't need him. (I know you know the difference between 'need' & 'want'. I know you know you don't need a man, just that it's nice to have someone)

I didn't really believe you all when you were so supportive about sodding voldemort...but I did know that it certainly wasn't me in much the same way I'm pretty certain it isnt you ...and I knew things would get better and they did and they will for you too.

juliette what's up with Dutchie?

to the rest of you. Sorry, to be ducking in & out again. didn't get much sleep last night yaaaaaaass! & heading out to BBQ with DS1 who apparently can be social if there is an offer of free meat.

Its very very easy to be objective... when its not you. Ive also had a pretty appalling dating experience, much the same ( if not sometimes worse, see experiences above) as velv. It is utterly exhausting sometimes to keep pretending you are not bothered, not hurt and dont care and can move on to the next at the click of a finger.

i think not recognising that fact is peddling a mistruth that is going to see people feel worse when they cant deal with it in the same way. Chin up and tits out sometimes is not the best advice... im sorry to say that and its not meant as a slur on anyone at all. But its not a failure to be hurt and upset when a relationship/ fling/ series of dates doesnt end up in the way you would have liked.

KNOWING its not you, and doubting yourself in moments of hurt and emotional upset are two very different things.

That was the only reason i posted, to say that. NOT to cause issues and not to shit stir and certainly not to get abuse.

Well, we all deal with things in different ways, because we're all different. The point is to try to choose the route that causes yourself and others the least damage. I think there's a lot to be said for being in the very best frame of mind possible when embarking on dating, especially Internet dating because you can meet a bunch of flakes, weirdos, sexually and emotionally dysfunctional and inadequate persons, gold diggers, cock lodgers, disappearers, danglers....and if you're feeling worn out with it all, I think flags are more difficult to spot (certainly speaking from personal experience on that account) sometimes some people are very adept at hiding who they are until they get you into bed.

Equally, there are lovely people who can't meet people through work or their existing social circle; I think they are sometimes a bit difficult to spot, or might not tick ALL the boxes on our wish-list, but they have to be out there, because we're out there.

Actually, I'm not 'out there' but you get my drift. I was.

agreed :)
whole heartily.

of course, rum is sometimes prevalent in bad choices too.... :)

Watch I think what you've said is true.

Although, with regard to drink, you mean vodka didn't you?

any, just any.

Beer/ rum/ vodka/ wine goggles mostly lead along a path that is named ' what the hell was i doing'

in my dating news, despite the two previously mentioned.... i have one thats now chasing me for a date that was previously so ellusive i gave up. So im not going to see him. YWK ( yes, him) begging, still and i was going to go, but hes all tied up with the stalker guy, so im not going to. and the goat from yonks back getting in sporadic contact. I have one guy who i MIGHT go on a date with who ive skyped a lot with, but hasnt bloody asked.... and a slight crush on a friends brother who is so lovely but lives too far away AND is my friends brother.... :)

ike, no agrivation was meant and ive made that very clear.

As far as i can see, behaviour towards me was just as bad at points. I am not going to appolgise, unless others do so too.....

if i was being difficult, i might say being called a ' little agrivator' is a bit of a shitty thing to do and a personnal attack. there really is no need, lets just move on, ok.

Broken a quiet drink or two is always my favourite. Nice pub/bar, comfy seats, glass of something cold and all's well with the world. I have had one coffee date and one ice cream date, plus one meal on the first date, but a drink is my string preference for a first date every time.

Sounds promising!

Blimey, strong not string. Having fat finger problems today ...

Sorry for loads of posts in a row but Juliette have only just seen your post from earlier. Really hope you're alright, love. Lying is one of my personal biggies, so I can really feel for you with this one. Hoping it will turn out okay.

Jule I've also just noticed your post (and noted others have come to same conclusion as me regarding Watch..) You alright Hun? Keep us posted with regard to developments wont you but I know you are a straight up person and wont stand for nonsense...

Ike, you are being incredibly rude.

Lots of others have also chatted to me and have no issue.

I have not posted anything nasty, nor said anyone was being horrible, not called anyone names, as you have done me.

Its actually bullying, what you are doing.

Jules hope you are okay. Don't know what else to say. I am hoping that Dutchie is still a goodie but here to listen if if turns out he is a baddie

Unfortunately it appears that poor old Beard is not up to the journey to see me I think he is very depressed about his brain cysts and I am not sure what to say to comfort him. I think with him he wanted me to be more oh let's cwtch lovely boy and I'm really not that kinda chick...

PC Arse has done a vanishing act. I just don't get it. Trying to remind myself that it's not me, it's him. Went out last night and didn't get in till 4am. Not much potential out in town, I did brave it and give my number to someone. I don't really fancy him that much but he has sent me a text today. Been messaging 'Sky' all day but he lives two hours away so it's going to be more difficult to arrange a meet up. What would people do re: the long distance? Drive, get a train, book hotel? I think I would like to meet him to see.

bant I'm intrigued to know which of my visitors was you!

Waving to everyone else. Jules I'm sorry to hear about Dutchie. I hope it's something you can work through.

zzzzzzz that was me snoring btw as had mates over last night for a late dinner and piss up plus their kids and lil doggies. Am busy having fun with lovely friends and trying not to pay OD too much heed which is why I don't post so much anymore. Always up to speed on you lot though.

Ex H still being a cunting cock though ...but what's new?