The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Posters, Lurkers, Old Or New, Come Take A Seat, This Bus Is For YOU!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A huge big welcome to the Brave Babes threads.

We're a varied group of posters, on this wonderfully supportive, non judgemental, gigantic Bus, and we are all heading in the same direction - towards Sobriety.

Some of us don't touch a drop of alcohol, some of us do. Some of us drink too much, openly admit it and are desperate to stop and some of us are trying to manage controlled drinking.

No matter what we're doing, we're just trying to do it One Day At A Time.

What ever you need, what ever your habit, chances are that there'll be another poster who is just like you or has been where you are now, already here, waiting to talk or just listen :)

Yes, some of us have been here for a longer time than others, some of us for just a few days but that's what makes this Bus so great imo, the variety of knowledge and understanding :)

This Bus has been whizzing along various roads now for almost four years thanks to the very desperate cry for help from THIS THREAD BY JWN

And if you'd like to read some of the other threads, maybe how we got to where we are today, then you can follow them back using the links RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon :)

Joey hops can be a depressant (think about beer!) but should only have that effect in fairly large doses or over a long time of taking. I'm glad work wasn't as bad as you were dreading.

Mouse 'same shit different day' made me - same here!

Faire I think Natterers would only be found in pretty large gardens, from what I've read, as they like dense cover and woodland. The most likely is a pipistrelle - has it got a fast and acrobatic flight pattern?

It seems to fly around in wide circles, Crabby but it is fast.

Isinde Thank you for your post, tears at reading (and recoiling in horror!) but happiness at your epiphany and way of handling your mother. I really feel like I have reached the point of accepting the futility of trying and accept that I can't change things - she will never be the mother I want her to be - it's a huge relief to stop expecting and hoping.

I'm actually feeling happier and freer than I ever have in respect to my relationship with them, just a little lost - Seeking their approval has been my driver in life, perhaps not always a bad thing, I've striven where I might not have done otherwise, I've created a reasonable life, I am responsible and caring and valued by others as such, but I truly do not know who I am .

My sister probably feels like you - I am often conscious that perhaps she finds me patronising and wishes I would stop mothering her! I know the dynamics of our relationship should change now.

I'd like to move forward now - take responsibility for my own life and be true to myself - whoever that may be :)

Thanks again for Mary Oliver introduction - very timely - nature has always been my escape, was very much as a child and I found wonder and hope in the natural world - I have stopped making the time to stand and stare and think I need to do just that right now.

Apologies for diversion babes - Love to all xx

Right here goes aliasjango and koala thank you for your concern re my illness, it never ceases to amaze me that my very dear friends in this virtual world show more compassion than most of those in RL so I thank you. green purple and inside very very brave to share you deepest emotions,it makes me respect and care for you all even more, the fact you show such kindness on here is very honest and keeps my faith in the human spirit. full day 14 is amazing, I'm hot on your heels on day 11!!! ma I think of Richard every day and will him success and happiness and am thankful he has a sis like you, I'm an only child and it scares me I will one day be alone. chateau please post and share with us, we all learn from each others mistakes and successes including yours so don't be a stranger!! And lovely venus hope your doing ok and I'm sorry your mum is so poorly and once again you find time to help us, "your a good un" as we Scots would say. To all new babes stay close and let these lovely babes help you as they've helped me, think that's everyone,,,, and breathe!!! Xxx

baby it is lovely to hear you are beating the WW despite feeling so terrible. Well done you!

faire I love that about feelings and will try to remember it to say to my son x

I must admit to extreme pessimism just now. I dont feel in the least like drinking though. I just feel totally wiped out though and that all is hopeless. I feel like giving up.

Faire ours circles too, big fast loops with dives and twists to catch insects. I reckon you've got a pipistrelle. I even looked at some more websites to confirm!

crabby I just knew YOU would be the one to know about these things! I did take several doses (and it certainly helped the anxiety, because I no longer cared)

How are you my dear?

Thanks Crabby Just need to see him again as he hasn't been around for a few days now. Does the cold and rain keep him inside do you think

full you tend to 'sound' a bit happier when you do your middle of the night post. Do you think that feeling tired is making it all seem a bit too much? Hopefully, once you've got a couple of hours sleep you'll feel a bit better. I find everything always seems worse when I'm tired. Hope you get a good rest tonight.

Thanks faire I think im just worried about tomorrow. Dr in morning and hopefully things fine. Stress is killing me at the minute and before I could have shut it out but im not now.

full good luck for tomorrow, try not to worry, things are never as bad as they seem x x x

Full - good luck with GP today - hope all goes well.
Baby the days are stacking up - hope u start to feel better soon.
Ma - really positive news :).
Faire - love your feelings quote :)
Day 32 today :) - Hope all ok. - just realised how early it is - so going to try and go back to sleep :)

Morning babes, Lonnika you are doing amazing, huge well done! It is too bloody early, when will my lively boy realise this is too early?!
Faire I love your feelings analogy. My last post in Camhs was delivering the dinosaur school & we did huge work with the children on being able I regulate their emotions. I love the thought of explaining no matter how bad your feeling it will pass. That actually used to be my mantra when hungover "this too shall pass"
Green, some very insightful & thought provoking posts, sounds like you are really finding your way. It's made me think of this place I used to walk to when I was a teen at the back of my house, it was a big tree really secluded by river & little waterfall. May take a walk & see if its still there (probably a block of flats now!)
Isindie, amazingly, honest post. It sounds like the heartless & hurtful comment from your dm was the best thing that happened to you & actually set you free. You sound like you are being a wonderful mother to your girls.
BabyJ you are doing so so well, hope you find a diet that helps with your crohn's & you stay away from ww.
Fullofhope, wishing you well for GP today, come & let us know.
MA so so happy that things going in the right direction. Agree that the SA have been amazing but it was you that didn't give up on Richard x
Mouse, how are things going? How is Nemo getting on at pre-school?
Purple, think a good plan to wait a year before any decisions on holiday, a year is so long at this age so who knows how everyone will be then? If it came to it could you say try can come but I need to come too? (That's you not me ha ha, although I'd love a trip abroad!)
Waves to all babes and wishes everyone well today xx

Hi all babes x

Isinde The comment from your Mother upset me so much, I could cry.

You know why x

I'm glad it set you free lovely.

One of the best things my parents did for me was show me how not to raise children. Seriously.

I don't criticise my children or tell them they are stupid. I explain and encourage and tell them that mistakes are fine, we learn from them.

I don't shout at my children or hit them. I tell them how I feel and that I need some space sometimes.

I don't push them away or ignore them. I hug them, listen to them, laugh with them.

I don't compare them or get them to compete against each other. I value them as individuals and tell them so, frequently.

I don't try to control their decisions. I let them be as independent as is age appropriate and to experience the consequences of their decisions in a safe environment.

I don't tell them they will amount to nothing. I tell them they are wonderful, intelligent, kind, funny, beautiful kids and there is nothing they could do that would make me not love them.

In fact, when I'm not sure I sometimes think what would my parents do. And then I do the opposite, so good things can come out of crap childhoods

Hello to all the babes,

Some really interesting posts on here and thank you for sharing some of your experiences, so many different thoughts and feelings.

I want to say it is helping me (and it is) but unfortunately I have let myself down by drinking last night - far too much - I was with my sister and we really got stuck in. I have a fuzzy head but my sense of shame is worse, I really need to get myself out of this rut.

So today is day one again.

Don't feel I know everyone well enough to name check yet but thank you for the welcome the other day it meant a lot.

Pink x

Pink01, Day 1 for me too!

Hello!

All the best with it, perhaps we can egg each other on

Have you stopped before?

I did 60 days earlier this year and so wish I had never started again......

Morning Babes

fullof how did your doctors appointment go?

ma that's so good to hear about your brother... now what about YOU ?

We're going to in-laws tonight... I have only had alcohol once (at Christmas) in the last 10 months at their house. Very proud of that, and don't want to mess up the track record, but don't know if I have the strength tonight. (I just feel so tired and worn out - mostly with work; but also a bit fed up with my health - the side-effects from new medication are not easing )

The only way I can persuade myself is with the promise that I can drink tomorrow night (at home) if I abstain tonight. I know, that's not exactly sensible, but all I can manage - and even then I'm not sure if its enough.

Don't know why tonight is so hard. I'm so antisocial really - I find these dinners with Daily-Mail-reading PIL so boring

Hi alias and everyone-thank god I got good news! Back to fullofhopefulness!!!

Ooh, that's brilliant full!

So glad for you.

alias - poor you. I can totally understand, btw. It is stressful. Good luck for tonight.

full see I told you, it's never as bad as you fear and alias hope all goes well tonight,thinking of you, feeling a bit flat today, weekends always a challenge for me x x

Sorry to read what awful excuses for parents some of you have!

Joey I'm fine thanks, ticking along. DD has just been diagnosed with Aspergers, which is a relief (have suspected for a long time) and makes sense of a lot of things. I hummed and haaed about getting her assessed because she's really borderline and it presents differently in girls, but the developmental paediatrician was bloody brilliant so I'm really glad I did. I'm going to carry on home edding her through secondary level too (god help me! ) because she's so much happier now than she was at school and I want her to stay that way. Your DD sounds like she's doing brilliantly!

Great news full !!
Been invited to neighbours tonight, have set myself a plan.
Going to buy 4 Smirnoff ices, cherry fruit juice & big bag of ice. Use my Smirnoff ice as my alcoholic bit & mix it up with cherry & ice. My 4 bottles will be 8 drinks and the Smirnoff ice is 4% and I'm diluting it to about 2%.
Not going to over do it. Got my little ones nursery/school fair tomorrow & dh not working so we're going to go.
No wine for me or I will ruin the weekend for everyone