My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Posters, Lurkers, Old Or New, Come Take A Seat, This Bus Is For YOU!

999 replies

Mouseface · 24/05/2013 10:33

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

A huge big welcome to the Brave Babes threads.

We're a varied group of posters, on this wonderfully supportive, non judgemental, gigantic Bus, and we are all heading in the same direction - towards Sobriety.

Some of us don't touch a drop of alcohol, some of us do. Some of us drink too much, openly admit it and are desperate to stop and some of us are trying to manage controlled drinking.

No matter what we're doing, we're just trying to do it One Day At A Time.

What ever you need, what ever your habit, chances are that there'll be another poster who is just like you or has been where you are now, already here, waiting to talk or just listen :)

Yes, some of us have been here for a longer time than others, some of us for just a few days but that's what makes this Bus so great imo, the variety of knowledge and understanding :)

This Bus has been whizzing along various roads now for almost four years thanks to the very desperate cry for help from THIS THREAD BY JWN

And if you'd like to read some of the other threads, maybe how we got to where we are today, then you can follow them back using the links RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon :)

OP posts:
Report
Mouseface · 23/06/2013 11:50

Fux - I've not tried hypnotherapy but if you're going to give it a go, would you post about it on here so that we can see how and if it work for you please? It's always great for us to have another source of 'support' out there IYSWIM?

I suppose that drinking for me at least is/was a habitual thing and therefore breaking that habit, could well have been the key? Like smoking or any other addiction? Breaking the cycle is key to stopping the desire too maybe?



Thurso - how did your walk go? Last night was supposed to be the biggest moon because of some clever science thingy but we couldn't see it here because it's like autumn, not summer! I hope you did okay and aren't too shattered today. Hopefully you'll still be in bed xxx

Lonni - you are doing so amazingly well, you really are. Reading your posts are wonderful :)

Baby - the weight debate. It's horrific when you first stop drinking because in your head, you're stopping drinking, getting healthier etc, you're going to look amazing, you're going to be full of beans, slimmer, brighter eyes, better skin..... the works.

The truth is that you have to replace the alcohol with something and all I can say is that it's a god job we no longer live where we used to in Manchester because I'd be the size of an elephant, not a Mouse! I have a certain weakness with cheese pasties made by a certain baker and boy would I be HUGE if they had a shop in the nearest town here! Grin

You'll get back on track, it balances out again, once your body realises that it doesn't need alcohol, you can soon make it see that it doesn't need sugar or anything else either. You just have to remind yourself of what you've given up, then give up the other things too. You don't need replacements, not of an edible kind anyway!

Did you say you're on slimming world and that was working? Then why not go back to a 'version' of that for a while but allow more treats until you feel better about the way you are eating? Does any of that help or even make sense? :)

Rural - how are you? How's DS getting on? Thinking of you all often. It's hard not to rely on something when your life has been turned upside down so go easy on yourself.

If you're drinking, please keep posting, no-one will ignore you for doing that, it's not like you broke a nail and had to have a bottle of wine is it?

I can empathise because of Nemo being ill, drink numbs the pain, blurs the reality of what's going on, what could happen etc...... NIG HUGS to you sweetheart, you can beat the WW over the head lots with our support and help I'm sure. Just do it in your own time and when you're ready. The Bus is going to be here for you and everyone else who needs it. ;) xxx

OP posts:
Report
Mouseface · 23/06/2013 12:01

NIG? I think I meant BIG HUGS to you Rural Grin

Time for some food, sausage and egg barm/bap/roll/bun - delete as appropriate depending where you come from! Grin and a Brew then some cleaning I think.

Nemo has his last taster day this week at 'Big School' and then nothing until September which is ridiculous but hey..... Hmm

Hope all of those who are on the Bus, Roof Rack, in the Side Car, and even those of you who are lurking or no longer posting at all or as much, SAF, MsGee, Bafana etc are all okay.

FullOf - are you okay? Don't think I've seen you post for a while?

Time for a new thread too I see. Will return with a nice new shiny one, be back in a while Brave Babes - keep going xxx

OP posts:
Report
babyjane1 · 23/06/2013 12:32

Morning babes, first of all ma I'm sending you a big hug, you've worked so hard for this, your already a winner, Mr, Green is right, a nice long walk, clear your head, get out of the house and walk some anxiety off. Just stay close to the bus, we will support you?sweetie thanks for the advice, your right of course. fer I actually tried hypnotherapy, I thought they would hypnotize me to think wine tasted like raw onion but it was more to make me think do I want this wine? Do I need this wine? Turned out I did!!! lon your doing so so well, how do you feel your life has changed, mentally and physically??? Would love to know and pink thank you for sharing your private thoughts with us, that wine witch is a fly,wiley woman, you have beat her once, just one day at a time, it's the the only way any of us get through this.. I'm off to for a walk, horrendous period cramp but hoping power walking while pushing the pram and listening to some tunes will ease it up, roast beef dinner, happy days xxxx

Report
Mouseface · 23/06/2013 12:41

Baby - hot water bottle when you get back too, I hate cramps, they are the pits. You'd think with all of the medication I'm on, I'd not feel pain ever but that's not the case.

Can you try and rest a bit too? Snuggle up with a film or something? xxx

OP posts:
Report
Edinbugger · 23/06/2013 13:48

fer - I've not had hypnosis for drinking but I have for smoking and it worked and don't see any reason why it shouldn't work for the booze. I think you need to be a bit susceptible - for example I've got quite an active imagination and am pretty willing to go with suggestions of 'woo' so that all helped. Having said that when I was being hypnotised I was sitting there thinking - 'what a load of bollocks, this isn't working at all'. Then I came out, reached for my fags and gagged. Twas very weird. I didn't smoke for two years after that and would have probably lasted longer but my reasons for wanting to stop changed (I'd been trying to get pg the first time) so the hypnosis kind of stopped working. I should have gone back with new reasons why I wanted to stop and done the whole thing again but at the time I just wanted to smoke myself silly. It's really worth spending a bit of time before you go working out exactly why you want to stop - be quite specific. Is it fear of liver disease, or being over-weight, or making a twat of yourself. I think if you're clear on your motivation the hynotherapist can really work with that.

Good luck :)

Report
Mouseface · 23/06/2013 14:12

Edin - great post, love the bit about making it specific so that the therapist can focus more closely on the deeper aspect of what is trying to be achieved :)

OP posts:
Report
ruralreynard · 23/06/2013 16:30

Hi babes,
Ma hope the run went well. Sure it did, well done you for staying AF before it Smile
jango well done on resisting I am in awe, keep it up.
mouse thank you for your kind message, you always manage to think of others even though you have so much to cope with yourself. Big congrats on the sponsered hobble for a very worthy cause, will have to get fit and do something for families struck by cancer myself.
Isinde Happy anniversary, remember well the lead up to your big day . As you and others have guessed I didn't get past day one.
Day 2 yesterday was a big fat fail. Went to a family barbecue, no way I could not attend. Went with the intention of at least starting with a soft drink and then seeing how things went.
When the host said would you like Pimms the wrong answer came out, YES said I. It was all downhill from there Blush Sad
Got home last night feeling very Angry at my total lack of willpower.
Day one again today and the WW is driving me mad already.
Trying to play it through to the end and keep going.
We'll see Hmm

Report
dementedma · 23/06/2013 16:31

I did it ! Managed to run the whole course in 40 minutes and it was great to have Richard cheering me on as well as dh and the Dcs.
Last half K was tough - Ds has taken a picture of me looking like I'm going to die! My fabulous 78 year old mum marched round in just over an hour wearing a pink feather boa round her head and even managed a wee jog to finish, much to the delight of the onlookers. Thanks so ,much for all your support..

Report
jango36 · 23/06/2013 16:33

Hi Babes :)
just hopping on board for a quick ride..
Where we heading now? and whom is driving today?? Do hope Im not alone in navigating Gerald! Not got a great sense of direction

Day bloody nine! here.. I cant quite believe it :) Though I hid a massive bump last night Im the form of NSDP. He was knocking back the old vino (jealous much). Found an empty bottle of white wine in his car also today! hmm. Think he needs the bus more than me.

Yes I have a clear head now but still unsure what to do about this relationship. Its a shame but a v long story.. Think I will go on diff thread about this problem.
One thing about this sobriety business is the time you gain back! before weekends or evening flew by. Not any more.
ma hope the run went ok. Thought you were doing it yesterday. Thats what I get for rush reading the thread.
Rural hope you re ok?
Mouse sending you a wave.
lonni you are doing brilliant for sure.
baby I have gained another pound!
fux hope your are okay?
Hi to all others xx

Report
ruralreynard · 23/06/2013 17:26

ma fantastic 40 minutes thats awesome. Never doubted you would do it and so happy for you. Your mum must be some lady well done to her too Grin.
jango really know what you mean about the time thing. Think you are doing brilliantly. I have a NSDH husband too, talked about him a lot on this thread in the past. When my son got ill it sort of became irrelevant but at some time in the future I will have to face up to it again.
mouse forgot to say son doing fine will be a good few months before he is fully recovered but all is well with him at present and he feels better every day Smile

Report
lonnika · 23/06/2013 17:32

Ma -wow well done - go you
BabyJane- the changes in my life have been physical and psychological. I was prescribed beta blockers for anxiety I no longer take them :)
I have lost weight :)
I am performing better at work :)
Still the biggest thing for me is the quality of sleep :). I sleep sooooooo much better :). in fact when the WW comes knocking it is knowing that my sleep will be badly effected that puts me of :).
hope that helps xxx

Report
OfficialSweetieMonitor · 23/06/2013 18:19

Well done ma

Report
Edinbugger · 23/06/2013 19:17

Yayyy - well done Ma! What a brilliant achievement. What you gonna do next? Wink

Report
dementedma · 23/06/2013 19:19

Try and cut down on my drinking edinbugger. Running is easier somehow Grin

Report
ferfuxake · 23/06/2013 19:33

Well done ma.

Right, it's day 1 for me and I am feeling positive (though also actually aware of a physical feeling of something missing - withdrawal?) Tonight I am knocking back lime and soda, stuffing myself with cheesy puffs - the calorific work of the devil, but extremely tasty - and planning to get some work done and get a reasonably early night, oh and also suss out the hypnotherapy thang.

It's 8 weeks til I go on holiday. I would love to be feeling lighter and more relaxed by then and also to be capable of not spending the whole time half-cut.

Good luck one and all.

Report
lonnika · 23/06/2013 19:42

feeling really down tonight :(((((. due my period - loads of symptoms but no show yet :(( I am def not preg what is going on ????? Fighting WW as I would loooooovvvvvve a wine now. I have taken myself to bed . Couldbcry but don't know why xxx.


Sorry for moan after ma's positive thread -

Report
Mouseface · 23/06/2013 20:02

Lonni - don't let your Hormentals fuck you up. You have done so well so far, don't let your body, which IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL, ruin this for you.

I'm in the early stages of the menopause at 38 and am gutted. I get 'womb ache' like I'm ovulating all of the time but never a period. This can last for 90+ days or I'll have a run of 30 day cycles for 2/3 months. It's fucked up.

I woke at 4am, swimming in sweat. It's awful. I itch, my nails are growing and gorgeous, shiny hair, but I have a rounded middle which I'd never suffered from before.

Please don't let your period - Hormentals and their fecking sysmptoms - get you down sweets. Talk to us....

I'm here for a while xxx

PS - that was a post all about me, just for you Grin

OP posts:
Report
lonnika · 23/06/2013 20:08

Thanks mouse xxxxxxx

Had all the signs - bloating, cramps etc but noooo period.

Feel really low and irrational too. Not going to drink as I know it won't help - maybe a good cry will xxxx

Thanks for your post xxx

Report
OfficialSweetieMonitor · 23/06/2013 20:17

lonnika you poor thing you. Try and pamper yourself tonight, you need a little TLC

Report
Mouseface · 23/06/2013 21:02

Oh Lonni - I sooooooooooooooo know that feeling. Sometimes a bloody good cry does help. Something to watch that you can bawl to? Sorry you're so low... do you take Evening Primrose Oil or Starflower Oil? I find both work wonders with hormental mood swings.

I agree with the wonderful Sweetie - time for some pampering, any chocolate in? Something nice for the bath? Hot chocolate and a lovely body lotion in clean PJs then bed? That's my night.... Big hugs xxx

OP posts:
Report
greeneyed · 23/06/2013 21:28

Sorry Lonni hope you feel better tomorrow - also struggling with the hormentals feel wiped, down and generally weird - periods are coming closer together the last few months and PMS much worse - wondering if I could be perimenopausal but I'm only 39? Also wondering if It could be thyroid related as often I am so cold at night it is ridiculous I am wrapped up in layers of fleece, blankets, duvet, bed socks etc in the summer - weird..

Report
Mouseface · 23/06/2013 22:31

Greeny - could be peri-menopausal. Have you seen your GP? They can't actually say yes, you're in the/going through the/have had the menopause until it's kinda happened which is shite!

Maybe pluck up the courage to go and have a chat to your GP about it all. Thyroids are weird little buggers who mess about with your body just as much as your hormentals do! Do you have a history of hormental issues in your family?

Big hugs to you too lovely xxx.

I've set up the new thread and will post it in the morning seeing as though we're quiet on here tonight. Hope all Babes are safe and well wherever you are tonight xxx

IsinDe - I hope that you are having the most wonderful weekend of celebrating your anniversary. Love to you and DP. You guys rock. Don't forget that we're supposed to be getting together at some point over the summer for fish and DT interaction!! Grin xxx

OP posts:
Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

thurso13 · 23/06/2013 22:34

Hello all, and hi Pink, welcome, your diary is very true.

I'm just going to bed now, Ma fabulous you! How are your legs?

I did the midnight walk last night, not too bad for the first four miles, incredibly windy, and much seaspray, but ok, then, the at the turnaround, sheets of rain, a force 8 gale, and most of it along an open seafront! My friend from work deserves every medal going, because without her, I would have had a lie down on the seafront, and not cared!!! I got in at 3am, had a bath, and couldn't sleep. Dh (marshalling) got in at 4, and was asleep before he fully got upstairs, I think!
Very sore legs today, and a thought that it will be worse tomorrow Shock.
I did for my Nan, my Uncle David, and Dh's brother, all lost too soon.

Despite the wind and the rain, it was an uplifting experience, and strangely, or maybe not, a very good time to remember them.

All love
t xxxx

Report
thurso13 · 23/06/2013 22:38

Inde Happy Anniversary!!, for yesterday.
Crikey, I can remember when the DT's were due! I hope you and DP are having a lovely weekend. Also, bet you're glad you didn't decide to get the train and come on the walk Grin.
Mouse sleep tight baby

Night all
xxxx

Report
stella10 · 23/06/2013 23:17

Just wondered if any one here has experience of a partner encouraging drinking? More than enabling....i mean I posted a while back about a nasty row after drinking and then I didn't drink for almost two weeks which was really lifting the haze of my mind but then dp started suggesting buying wine always making sure there was some even wen I didn't ask which was out of character also we had more difficult patches wen I v nearly left again and I worry if he is trying to keep me dependent on alcohol so as he can take the children if things do go pear shaped! Alarm bells started ringing wen he started coming home with two bottles wine in hand! Very unlike him but so hard to know if I'm over thinking this. I also can't say don't buy wine I have alcohol issues as I don't talk about that! And obviously all good intentions of not drinking go out the window wen presented with such gifts:-/

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.