This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

Ike glad you said that, I've only fancied 3 men in all my time doing OD.

Arghh. It's late you're

In my six months ODing I've only met one weirdo, had one bruising disappearer, and a three-month FWB thing - well it was for me, not quite sure what he thought.

But I've not yet had a full-on cock shot, or anything particularly nasty and I'm in PoF, as well as OKC. (penny pincher that I am!)

Juliette He is the one making it clear that he wants friends more than anything, and that is OK with me.

We'll see. Perhaps I have something to learn on this part of my journey.

No honestly Jules....I have looked through the entire catalogue of Poffers between the ages of 35 -47 in cardiff and Briz tonight who have been on line recently....not one do I fancy from the photos. Some are reasonable but none have I thought 'oh yeeees!'

....and 'reasonable' might be exaggerating the point...

Eww someone get him a new dressing gown

How mad is that?

No OKC, Juliette. If you really want I can PM the link?

Drunk again Nora? Not cocktails again! Is it not enough that you flaunt Mr Showbiz's oral health, without parading your active social life too?

Ahh, I see you've found him!

Ike it's odd isn't it. In RL I see men who I sometimes think yes, I could do you but online almost never.

My problem with the photos is that I most often think mmmm about men whose profiles leave me cold, all health and fitness, non smoking teetotallers. Not me at all. Although I have just completed my fifth day of being ash free!

I think it's sort of easier to fancy random passing strangers, because there's no pressure and you can be a bit more relaxed and objective about whether you find them attractive?

Hello, another long term lurker here. I posted a few times a while back under a different name (some might remember me - I live in a fairly small island community).
I've followed this thread for a long time.
One thing I have found in my pof experience is that men with good literacy, that can hold an intelligent message conversation and have no photo are the ones I now seek out.

Almost exclusively.

In every case so far (5 dates) they have been very pleasant and very level managers of large teams and have not considered it appropriate to publicise who they are. 3 of the 5 were very good looking, the other 2 were certainly decent looking.

I've seen quite a bit of mention that people won't consider anyone with a photo. From what I've found, that could be a mistake. I don't have a photo up. Once I've established that I likely don't know the person in RL then I'll send a photo. But meeting those without a photo has generally been more successful and were more enjoyable dates than meeting the people who did.

Anyway - just sayin'!

*without a photo.

Interesting perspective Hell - I've heard enough times that I'd get nowhere without a photo that I just assume that's the only way to go. And when I created a profile on one site but hadn't got round to putting a photo up yet I didn't get any views in a couple of weeks - once I put a couple up I started getting them.

Hell I think you're very open minded! I've had one date with someone who didn't have a main profile picture for privacy/work related reasons, but he still had pics. I would definitely expect to see something before meeting up. I also think it's a bit precious to want absolute anonymity, especially if it's just because you line manage people. It also smacks of someone who sees OD as a shameful secret, which would put me on edge.

Hi Hell:o
if I understand you correctly you are saying that you look for profiles without photo's (and which fit your other criteria) but you'd still want to see a photo before meeting?

I'm with you on looking for a good level of literacy! :)

Nothing wrong with not having a pic if you are active in sending messages and mention in your message that you can send one. I had someone contact me and after I'd established he could hold a conversation I asked for a photo, so he sent me one by text, one of his face, thankfully. Didn't make much difference as he didn't look anything like the photo.

Two showed me photos beforehand and three didn't.

I wouldn't dream if telling anyone how they should set their own criteria, it's more of a suggestion that people without photos maybe shouldn't be disregarded out of hand?

I don't see lack of photos as someone being ashamed of OD. But I fully understand why people (including me) don't. Horses for courses and all that! I would never have been confident enough to go on pof if a photo was mandatory.

I didn't want to offend anyone, just to add another perspective to this forum. This forum has helped me immensely with OD. It's given me a much more pragmatic and reasoned approach to the whole business. So thank you all for that!

meeting with no photo...I dont think my nerves could stand it
but yep, absolutely, ya have to 'feel' your way through and do what works for you:o

Hell - I'll generally reject profiles without a photo in favour of ones with a photo for three main reasons - because I only have a limited amount of time to spend mailing & chatting to people and would rather focus on ones where I already know I find their pictures attractive.
Secondly, just looking at the profiles with pictures I'm only attracted to maybe one in 5, one in 7, something like that. Statistically assuming the ones without are as attractive as the others, I'm likely to be talking to someone I wouldn't approach if I saw them.
Thirdly, if I get chatting to them and then they send me a picture and it's unattractive, I'm going to hurt their feelings by rejecting them based on how they look rather than never have a conversation in the first place.

There is a small chance I may think they look great, but it's unlikely. I'd rather spend my time talking to people where I think they look good but I'm not sure if they're interesting or funny or if there would be a spark in person.

Blimey do you think there are more attractive women than blokes in OD I wonder?

That's a real minefield of a question, Ike but I have to say, like a lot of other people on here I've only seen a handful of photos of men on OD that I found immediately attractive.

I am really envious of Bant's 1:7 ratio though Kin....lucky ol' peacock with his gorgeous hens...