This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

The "handy" thing does it for me too - partly because its very useful and partly because a man being good with his hands bodes well in other departments ... Do you think you'll see him again Flipper in a dating way?

He sounds lovely Raf, and comfortable is great. Do you fancy him? I'm going to sound like your mum here, really sorry and I don't want to be patronising, but just be wary about inviting someone who is really a complete stranger into your home. As well as the obvious, there's the potential for stalkerish behaviour if you decide not to carry on. May be better to go to his then you have the information on him, the option of when to leave etc etc. Really sorry to bang on, and I'm sure this guy isn't dodgy at all, hope I've not offended you.

When do you hit the north Nora?

Jiggler is upset and confused that I don't want to see him again. Oh dear. Just got a text off the quiet guy but nothing at all about meeting up ...

I'm glad I'm not the only handyman fancier OWW , exh was utterly useless at anything practical and then once I watched Spud do something complicated with a light fitting, I actually felt a wave of lust and was worried that I was starting with some kind of terrible DIY perversion.

Jiggler's not going to make a nuisance of himself is he ?

Some twonk on okc has just called me 'super cute'.
I hit God's Own County this afternoon.

Raf, Oilrigger sounds like a nice bloke, and I agree with Bant about the thunderbolts. Also with OWW about being careful. Even if I did throw caution to the wind last night (but he knows where I love already).

OWW, hope you let Jiggler down gently, I suspect your friend is right.

Safe journey, Nora.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of handy. Just wish I'd known about it before I fixed my own shed roof, especially as he's the neighbour that commented on seeing my arse while I was doing it! I'd be happy to see him again, date or mate wise. We'll see.

He wants me to tell him where he went wrong, was it because he didn't pick up the phone when I called etc etc. Don't think I am going to reply. Main reason is actually not the trousers or the jiggling but the fact that I caught him out in a (pointless) lie and I suspect there were others. I didn't say anything at the time, no point and would probably have led to more lies. Much as I love a handyman, I abhor a liar, probably more than most due to Titto making a complete monkey out of me on many occasions with his lies.

It's a bit grey and chilly up here Nora, pack your fluffy socks.

Hm, best left alone then, OWW, or a tactful "it isn't you, it's me".

Flipper I was quite tactful, I hope, just said there were big differences in our lifestyles and on reflection I didn't think we were compatible. Don't want to get into it any deeper with him, really. He spent a lot of money on the date which made me a bit uncomfortable too - I'd said meeting for a drink would be fine, but he wanted to go for a very posh dinner (which really was lovely). Bit disconcerted to find he'd booked himself a room there (think country house hotel/restaurant) because apparently he'd moved house in the last week, without mentioning it in his texts, and now lived too far away. Lots of odd stuff like that but at least one outright lie about something quite important.

Someone better/normal has got to come along soon ...

OWW nice man or not, odd behaviour which does not attractive make. Block, delete and invoke force field.

Flipper a man who knows what to do with his hands, is local and walks you three doors down. Result. Your lush badge is in the post

Raf that all sounds rather lovely, as does Oil Rigger. Thunderbolts can turn up as things progress if a man is generally lovely. Going to add to the thing about being cautious with strangers off the internet in your home, I also would want to go to their place and rifle through their bathroom cabinet to see what turns up.

Kin enjoy your trip to God's own

Raf, yes agree with the others about giving it chance before inviting them home, mostly it would be OK but you never know. He sound nice and worth a second date.

Flipper, if he is going to judge you on drinking a bottle of wine, which he did invite you over for, then he need to lighten up. I'm sure he was only teasing.

The thing about 100% is that for the first time in many years I wouldn't hesitate with my current one. He is everything I want and I don't say much on here but our times together are amazing, best connection I've ever had with anyone, that's why I stay. Now I've got a hot youngish guy interested and am all of a dither. Can I keep them both? Of course, I know the answer to this and it would involve serious deceptions and it's not in my nature. Maybe it's time for another talk. It would break my heart to call it off, but I have to think of my long term sanity.

There's something about all that OWW which would make me feel very uncomfortable, it sounds rather machiavellian and I agree with Juliette, I'd avoid entering into discussions with him.

Oww- sounds to me like the Jiggler may be married. Booking a room like that because he's 'moving house' but failed to mention it... And going overboard with a posh meal and compliments.. Seems fishy to me. Best off out of it.

Scrazy I completely understand what you're saying about 100% and I don't envy you having the choice of him or Young Bloke but if 100% really was ideal for you do you think you'd be entertaining the possibility of a relationship with YB ?

Had an epiphany this morning. I couldn't sleep all last night, oil rigger was sweet, considerate, easy going, nice looking, a good kisser. And I just felt....nothing. I need to quit trying to make myself be straight. I'm just not into guys. And now oil rigger is saying he couldn't stop thinkin about me and likes me so much. Ugh what do I do? Do I tell him WHY it won't work?

Aaaaaaaaaarggghhhhhhhh :(

Is not a new issue, I just have been ignoring it and trying to make things what I wanted or thought it should be. Before I was married I dated women.

It's not fair on any man I try to date.

Raf you can't make yourself fancy anyone. I'd text him with the "You're great but no spark" text, which is true and all he needs to know, then change your preferences on the dating site and have a look if there are any likely women around. Bet there will be

Raf - it could be you're Bi, if you find some men attractive, just that its rare to have the 'oomph' with them or maybe you're just not into them at all. There's no pressure or rush to decide which you are. You can honestly say to the oil rigger that he was lovely but there wasn't any chemistry. Don't tell him he may have put you off men forever... :)

I think there's a thread on relationships (turning tavern?) which may be useful. But if you're going to date, stay on here as I could use someone else's perspective on dating women :)

Raf, not many men float my boat either tbh, but a few do, so it's not unusual to not find a man who seems perfect on paper fanciable. But deep down if you know you prefer women then go for that.

Kin, I carn't devote myself to someone who seem to give it back. I need to keep options open, I was just tempted. It's gone nice and quite from ym so normality prevails.

Raf what Bant said. I have been doing this OD thing for approx 40+ dates with different men and only fancied 2 of them. The first kiss can be variable, I've only had that weak at the knees thing first time a handful of times in my life. Current man, I didn't feel it the first time but I can't keep my hands off him. So yes, why not keep your options open for both

I'm not sure how many dates I've had Jules - think I might make a list tonight.

Bant either married or a fantasist or both ... Definitely not second date material! All quiet from him today though so I hope he's just moved on. What news on the fair Hungarian?

Hello lovely thread

I'm doing my best to follow everyone. Nothing really to report from me - I'm seeing Sarf London Geezer on an exclusive basis - STBEX-ex was not happy to hear that he'd stayed over (DC were away). It's been almost a year since he left

I'm nicely tired, gently hungover and posting this with a cat on my lap

Smoothie, glad things are going well.

Raf, walking man was funny, and sweet, and all of those things, and I really, really wanted there to be a spark, but there wasn't. I've felt that spark since, so I know I'm capable, but it wasn't there then. Part of that, for me, was actually being ready to date again.

Mr 3 Doors Down says I make him smile. Especially Even when drunk, and possibly not just because he can see in my bathroom window. Phew.

No news on the Translator. Busy work week, have to go to a do tonight which is notoriously drunken (all my company dos are notoriously drunken) .. Trying to set up a second date which she sounds keen on but said 'check with me later in the week'..

That's the problem with dating people in their 20s. They've got so much bloody energy they can party every night..

Hello all, been lurking the last few days, some near misses but some promising stuff too!

Can someone please talk sense into me? Been messaging lovely man off POF. Last Friday we loosely arranged a date for this Friday coming, further away than either of us wanted but soonest we could manage. Have been messaging daily since, but have heard nothing today so far.... Want to say hello, but don't want to get into habit of always being first to message and seeming over-keen.... Had a quick look on POF without logging in and he's been on there today....

Do I message him? Or hold firm, because I am the prize? (But how does he know I'm the prize if he hasn't met me yet?) Is he holding firm to see if I message him, because if not he has a few options lined up on POF?

Gaaaah! I told myself I wouldn't get into a state like this!

Is it a carp I need??

Django steady! Remember the rules. Nothing wrong with letting him message first at all, but it's such early days yet that I think you might be over thinking it a little. Go online and find a few other possibilities, maybe, to dilute the significance of this guy.

I've been doing this now for about ten months, six or seven of those I was seeing LM so three or four actually dating. I counted sixteen men that I've been out with but I think there's at least one more that I've forgotten - not good stats, really. Maybe I am too picky. I've had much more success post-LM with men wanting to see me again - don't know what's changed but obviously something has.

Bad news - IvorbigUn4U is on the prowl again...

Django - OWW speaks the truth, you need a portfolio of gentlemen possibilities, it saves you investing too much in any one man.

I don't think they're bad stats OWW, you're not picky, you're just not going to settle for less than you deserve.

Thank goodness you're safe oop north Nora and out of the range of the good Ivor.