This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

Get in there and shake your tail feather, love.

Only managed to read the last page, so hello everyone hope you're all well and having fun.

And go Bant! A rl date! Enjoy the baby hippo.

Yay Bant!! I'm so excited for you!

For the first time ever, I've got two dates this weekend, and with two different guys. Not sure how I feel about it? I have this feeling convention would call me a "bad girl".

Regardless, I'm looking forward to it. Tonight I'm meeting the Zambian for dinner...he may have dubious intentions, but it'll be in public and....he's simply gorgeous and I could listen to him talk in that amazing voice all night. I was on the phone with him yesterday and his voice made my knees feel funny. Which is probably bad news given that I think he has dubious intentions. Oh well.

Tomorrow I'm having dinner with the Oil Rigger. He seems to be a sweet, intelligent and grounded person. We shall see. We're going to a small venue to hear live music and shoot pool after dinner. I must say he doesn't seem to be following the rules laid out in this thread though and appears to be too emotionally invested already.

Excellent Bant have a fabulous time.

Date last night with hot guy was lovely. Went out for food and drinks and ended up back at his now however, I get the feeling that this may be a sex thing rather than a dating thing. We haven't talked about what were looking for etc, but his OD profile does say long term relationship, whereas mine says dating but nothing serious. Do men lie about that because they think its what women want? Aaargh in really annoying myself by over thinking this. Find it hard to see why anyone w/I kids would be interested in me when I have a toddler and can't get it out if my head!

good luck bant it's nice to see you all a fluster!

juliette I might take you up on your very lovely holiday search offer for me lateri shall PM you.

Wine I am sitting under my covered porch with my coffee watching a virtual monsoon It has been nearly 100 degrees for the last week, so I am very happy the sun has finally gone away to visit you for a while!

I do hope the rain lets up by this evening though. My hair will go all frizzy for my date and that will annoy me to no end.

Wine I'd guess that some guys who are looking for a relationship will also be happy to indulge in 'nothing serious' while they are still looking...just saying ...or sometimes they try to change your mind.

I mainly lurk but loving Bant's story. Hope your date goes well!

Snape go for it, just need your absolute must haves and anything you'd quite like plus the things you'd run a mile from. Anywhere you quite liked the look of but had to rule out because of something would be a good guide too.

Toni I don't see why a toddler is an issue, he may like the idea, be clueless, non plussed, whatever. He knows you have DC and is clearly interested so let him

Raf two in one, this sounds like a good girl to me. The oil rigger may just be an innocent stating out with OD, we've all done it. Remember the Thread Rules only came about through our own bitter experience. Enjoy, and we're expecting loo updates from both

Hello :) Hope the baby hippos were sweet Bant (how big are they - have never seen a baby hippo).

About to go for a bike ride with the DC - DS will go v fast and DD will not as she lacks confidence in biking. There is an 8 mile round trip with Brownies in a few weeks time that I think she does want to do so we are practising a bit (not as far as 8 miles).

Going to a farm tomorrow with DC and Mr Nice. Am hoping everyone copes . Am v used to being on my own with them for trips as XH was always rather crap at coming out so will be a bit different. Hopefully in a good way. DC have said we are not to kiss too much or be generally embarrassing (plans ways to do both )

Well we were at the zoo for 4 hours or so. No baby hippos, but baby elephant, lions, a sloth or two. Also wombats but they hid, the little buggers.

We walked around, had coffees and ice creams, talked the whole time. She's lovely.

I suggested the possibility of a meal sometime which she agreed to, when she left to go back home to watch the football with her flat mates she said she definitely wanted to come to the English afternoon tea I was planning, and we should talk on Facebook. I said that wasn't going to be for a few weeks but maybe something before then. She said ok. Cheek kiss.

Dating whilst totally sober is new to me. I mean, apart from the first coffee for an online date. Normally, it's dinner and drinks and if I fancy them but there's not a huge oomph I'll go in for the kiss after a bit of Dutch courage and see how things evolve. When its someone amazing though I'm nervous and don't want to fuck things up. Especially when sober.

So. Cheek kiss it was. I will find a decent place to take her to on the next few days and invite her.

I'm hopeful.

Bad points: She's Hungarian, vegetarian, a cat person and ginger.
Good points: none of the above matter

Ahw bant

Even cynical old me is sighing with the lovely romance of it (and I'm full of German sausage )

Hi Ladies,

I am really hoping you might be able to give me some advice. I've been lurking for ages as wasn't quite ready to actually date but the time has come. Also I'm hopeless at posting regularly and felt it wasn't fair to post unless I was going to get involved.

I'm late (very late) 30's, separated for 18mths (well on my way to being divorced) with 2 DC. Similiar story to lots on here, ex changed his mind and I was heart broken/shocked when he left. Last time I dated I was 20.

I've had dates with 2 guys over the past few months and think I'm doing it all wrong'. The first guy seemed really nice and we had plenty to chat about. However, my initial reaction was that although I liked him as a person I didn't 'fancy' him. But I feel like its highly unlikely I'm going to fancy someone on the first date and sort of feel like I'd have to get to know them and grow into it. I've only really had 2 relationships and I knew the guys as friends first. So I had a 2nd date and although I would be delighted to be friends with this guy, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't work together as a couple. The problem is that I agreed to a third date (sort of didn't know how not to) with him. I know that was probably wrong and feel I've lead him on. I feel like I should go on the date now as I've said I would (more than once as he asked/confirmed in texts) and then need to have the 'only interested as a friend chat'. I feel like I need a plan/ready made line to prevent this from happening again. I'm really good at making new friends, not so good at entering into romantic relationships.

So date number two. Again a nice guy, had a fun evening. My gut reaction is that it wouldn't work out relationship wise and I don't think I fancied him enough (he was attractive though) for a brief fling (never had one and not sure if I'm ready). So I've agreed to go on a second date (he bought me dinner first time and I'm happy to treat him next time and see how it goes).

So my main question is am I supposed to know after the first date (I really don't see that happening for me) or do you go on two/three dates (if there is no obvious reason not to) to see if someone grows on you? This is soooooo tricky.

Sorry to be so long winded

Correction. Ladies & Gents. Apologies

I don't know why but I am suddenly horribly nervous to go on tonight's date. My stomach is in knots. I was hardly nervous at all the last two I went on. I don't know what the deal is....

Update: gorgeous Zambian stood me up. Gave me cockamamie excuses.

Whatever. I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow's date with Oil Rigger far more than I was tonight.

Yep. We were supposed to have dinner at a restaurant between the towns we live in. He didn't answer text all day, but I figured he was working or something. I ended up going home and then went to my best friends house for dinner with her family. Four hours after were supposed to have met he sent me a text that he overslept. I suppose its possible. But if I had decided to take a nap beforehand, I'd have set an alarm.

justforfun I'd just carry on seeing him if you like him and see where it goes

raf Next!!!

Hi JustForFun*

Just do what you feel comfortable with doing. You don't 'owe' your dates anything apart from considerate communication (aka good manners). So perhaps tell them 'I like to take me time to get to know someone'.

If you change your mind 'I am sorry I've changed my mind and won't be meeting you. You are lovely but, I don't thing we are a good match. Best of luck'

And remember If it is not fun, stop you should look on OD as a kind of hobby/past time, something you enjoy.

Make sure someone knows who you are seeing for the first couple of dates either in RL or ask us on here to contact you during the date so that if you are unhappy/not feeling safe you can make your excuses and leave.

Hi I am lurking for a bit. On sofa/seeing Lab.

WFF waves at the thread.

Hey Twin

Obviously Just without the typos

Raf yep, utter cunt. No excuse for that at all, stupid little knobber. Well that frees you up nicely for Mr Oil Rigger tonight.

Loving your use of cockamamie, must find an excuse to use it