This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

bant think you continue playing the friend card. If she is with someone then it is up to her to break things off with him before she starts anything with you. Tricky ground but think ball is in her court really. Don't envy you with that one!!

Bant Friendly but not just friends - bit of gentle flirting, eye contact - nothing OTT but just so she knows you could see her as more than a friend. Difficult line to walk but you can do it.

Bant if being better doesn't work, you can always high five him with chilli hands just before he goes to the loo

OWW you are doing very well, it is a numbers game so yes you're doing it right by just getting out there until you've been through them all

Pom you have babysitters to arrange, if he doesn't have kids he may not realise the arrangements that have to be in place so I think your text was a good one.

Lahti I have been single for ever a long time but I do avoid men who have recently come out of a ltr as I have found they are usually not ready.

I agree with OWW, Bant (my phone insists on calling you 'Bang'). Cultivate the friendship, be gently flirty in the way that she will know there could be something there. Eye contact, small casual touches and keeping communication open.

It's sucks that you had the oooomph moment with a woman who is attached, but it sounds like he's a tosser she may be happy to get rid of in favor of your fantastic self!

Oh and I forgot something. Gorgeous Zambian said something odd. During a phone conversation he said "I really prefer white women. Black women make everything so hard."

Wtf does that mean? When I asked him "wtf does that mean?" He said "white women know what they want and don't play games". Um....I don't know what to think about this.

Juliette there is a never-ending supply . . .

Nora hope you are feeling okay. Were you due another meeting with Showbiz soon? And Velvet if you are still reading, hope things are a bit brighter for you too and for Ike as well.

Raf - I'd be put off anyone who made sweeping generalisations like that.

I did hear somewhere that people who accuse others of playing games tend to be players themselves.. maybe a red flag there..

Juliette - thanks for the tip. Now I have to find some chilli.

Raf proceed with caution, there is a 'thing' with some white guys who 'prefer' white women although of course this could be just his personal preference. I'm mixed race and I red flag any white men who say they want 'black only' as that is a similar thing. Regardless, it's the generalization.

In other news, I've just had to write my new age for the first time on a form. At the sexual health clinic. Have decided this is a cause for celebration

No, he's a black man who prefers white women. Although he said his previous marriage was to a Mexican woman.

I myself am very attracted to black men, but I would never only date black men and absolutely would never specify such a thing!

Happy birthday Juliette! Seems I missed it

He bloody text back!! It's in fe Wednesday!!!! Yay!! thanks guys

Woohoo Pom!! Exciting!!

On a selfish note, one nighter whom I will now refer to as the Social Worker, has just texted me a moment ago. Someone please kick me up the backside and knock some sense into me because my stomach I'm immediately went fluttery.

Sorry raf that should have said black guys who only want white women.

Ha result - just got asked out by the new one who does the same job as me. Could quite fancy this one I think. He is new to OD so I think that is good. Will need to sort out a babysitter for next week then.

News flash - for the first time in my life I have just bought a packet of condoms - that dates me. Tonight I will read the instructions.

In anticipation of Sat. Various texts back & forth between myself & Meet Up guy, suggests things are hotting up.

Omg you can get Chlamydia in your throat Did everyone else know this apart from me?

Also, when the question is 'what kind of sex do you have?' well it depends. I kept having to add things on .

Chlamydia is your throat?

Jesus. shock and fright

Hello everyone, flying visit time, I have been reading but have had a crappy week and would have sounded like a right whingey old bag if I'd been posting so I didn't.

It's great to hear that so many of you are having such success (OWW - you fox ).

Hello everyone new.

Juliette no, I didn't know that about chlamydia but it doesn't surprise me, there's all sorts of medical unpleasantness out there.

Kin I do hope whatever's been getting you down goes away, fast. Anyway, Showbiz is sure to take your mind of things.

Ranger I just got asked if I would like any contraception. It's standard, bless.

. Have chronic pmt so black dog on my shoulder. But WELL DONE to the lovely folk soldiering on in the field of OD. Powa people!! Rah.

Reporting in to say hi.

Bant, no need to be in the friends zone on this one. You don't have much to lose by making it clear hinting that you would like more than friends if she was single.

OWW, you are on a roll.

Kin, are you and showbiz doing the biz now? Sorry if I've missed that one.

Waves to everyone else.

I've haven't got much planned for the holiday weekend, just packing as I'm off to the sun next week, hip, hip, horray . Someone, is insisting on seeing me off (aww how sweet).

Calling all ladies!!!
First time ever poster and never thought I would come out of lurkdom.
I have been on my own for years, divorced and now thinking about dating again.
No family support so hard to find time to pursue own interests let alone trying to meet someone.
Does any one have any views on
Justsingleparents.com?
How many men you should chat to at a time?
What is your view on winking? I am happy to do so for fun, concerned they may read more into it
When should you let them know you are not interested or have a concern eg age of children etc?
Just looking for guidance. feel overwhelmed and private person who does not like to disclose all to the world.
HELP before I put my foot in it.

Hi cat

Welcome!! I tried just single parents and it was pretty shocking. The men on there were not great. Very few men on there and the ones that were just definitely wasn't my type. Depends on your area and age group I expect. It pulls people together from other "just..." Sites so has a weird mix.

When you find a site that works for you then chat to a few men at a time, wink if you like someone or just send them a message. Follow the rules on this thread. Don't take it too personally. And post on here. I found it massively useful and we are a lovely bunch!! Good luck

Hi Cat

I've just recently started with this OD lark, after getting some encouragement from the lovely vipers on this thread. It was huge for me to put a profile up online as I am so private. I was literally sat for 2 hours with my finger hovering over the button, having a panic attack until I just thought 'oh sod it'. Once it was actually 'out there' I suddenly felt fine about the whole thing

Anyway, I met 3 different men. And I am in the early stages of a 'thing' with one of them. I am beyond thrilled that I've met such a lovely person so quickly, and so am therefore also semi terrified that it is all going to go tits up, as I can't quite believe my luck!

I started with okcupid, and then went on to POF. I've had no weird messages or anything. Just take things at your own pace, only answer people if you want to, take a break when you want to. Look at the rules at the start of this thread.

so my advice would be, go for it!

Catnnz, in the nicest possible way, it sounds like you're already over-thinking. If you like the look of someone, wink at them. It really means no more than eye contact. Don't share anything you're not comfortable sharing. In my view there's no point getting into things like issues around age of children before you've met - chances are you won't like each other in real life anyway. If you're not interested just don't respond. Unless you've gone on a date or two it's really not rude to do so.

Bant that sounds lovely. I agree with everyone else, just flirt and send signals that you're interested (plus being an aggressive alpha male will stop the friend zoning). I really don't think you can write her off as attached if she's only been with this other guy a few weeks.

I have a possibly inappropriate string of 2nd and 3rd dates lined up. But the one person I like seems to have gone off line probably met someone hot in real life.