This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

Morning

I have hospital meeting this afternoon about mum. This will among other things decide if I get to go to Scotland tomorrow for a week of fun

Currently tackling my garden jungle thats hasn't been touched all year. Will keep the neighbours happy.

48 I hope the meeting gets a good outcome and that you get to have a break. Given that the neighbours are involved, I do hope your garden jungle is not a euphemism?

Ha ha Juliette Mind you there is one that 'I would'

Beat me to it Juliette, Great smutty minds think alike!

Been AWOL for a few days, too meh with life to be bothered posting. Wanted to add my (((hugs))) for Velvet. Teenagers are shitty, even the best of them. Had major meltdown at mine today, for all the usual self-absorbed, someone else will pick that up, can I have some money nonsense.

OD still crap, a few glimmers that disappear in the light and a very odd bod who starts of normal, ends up somehow shoehorning nakedness and showers into the conversation. I make my excuse and leave. Then back he comes. I know I should just block, but he is quite fun to chat to until that point and life's been a bit scant on fun recently

Did book that week's holiday, now just have to wait for above teens to spoil it!

And OWW spill the secret to your success, this 'just a roll' nonsense won't wash. You've discovered the philosophers stone, haven't you?

Hello all.

Haven't been on in a while, been seriously busy moving house and also removing AWFUL ex from my life. All good now.

I have a random (nosey) question for you since I'm new to all tho OD lark. How many dates typically before 'the sex'? It's been so long since I dated I just don't know what's the norm

Winefield excellent

Hi Toni

theres no one answer - basically it's when you feel comfortable to DTD with that person. Some people go by the 'rules' (which is somewhat outdated and crap) which says the third date - but then if your first date is a 20 minute coffee grabbed for lunch and you don't feel comfortable on the 3rd date, then don't.

There are signals which are sent, quite often. Cooking dinner at your/his place is normally a big signal. Telling him you've arranged for the DC to stay at their gran's house is another one. But it all comes down to the individuals, what you're happy with. Don't feel you 'owe' it to anyone that the third (or first, or tenth) date is THE one.

Wine oh heck that is a bit of a turn up for the books! No wonder you were uneasy about the whole thing. You are best out of it, no mistake!

Toni great stuff with your house and getting rid of the ex. Life must be feeling good. Like Bant said, there are no rules about this, apart from the one that says don't do it until you feel ready/comfortable. There can be a feeling that everyone else is at it very early on, but I don't think this is the case. I have only slept with two OD men - the first one was the first person for literally years and it took me a fair while to pluck up the courage. The second I didn't wait that long and I'm glad I didn't as it kind of put the kibosh on things. Next time, well, it will just be when I feel ready (and when he does of course). I don't mind a kiss on the first date but nothing more than that, had a horrible groper once and that right put me off him.

Anyone got any good advice for finding a reliable, but not clingy FWB? ... or is that the holy grail?

I am going to Scotland

48 that's great news, you so deserve it. Make you sure enjoy every inch minute of his company

Tony that's good news, as for when to dtd there are no rules, just whenever you feel you are ready (or not). I don't usually even snog on a first date as that is very intimate to me but I did have sex with Dutch within hours of meeting him.

Excellent 48 just forget all the stuff at home and have a brilliant time. You and R&R are fab

Yay 48 have a wonderful time

Well tomorrow night is date 3 and I just have a feeling it might happen. Meal Out and drinks. last saw him on sunday and there was much kissage! Don't want to eff things up though ie dtd then him do a runner, though I guess that's the risk you take :-s

Toni The 3 rule isn't bad, & prevents you from having dreadedONS after beer goggles. With my current interest, I just had this feeling I could DTD after one of our meetings. We haven't yet, but now I feel comfortable with the idea. Good to wait until the internal signals go green. Your libido/emotions/psyche have to come together, & that takes a bit of time depending on your circumstances.
Currently in this rather hilarious position of working out when kids not around so I can arrange dates. The exact opposite of teenage years when you waited for parents to leave before sneaking bf in!

lovingfreedom I think it is the holy grail ..

you found it though KW? I thought I had too...had a good innings!

Evening all,

48 are you coming to Scotland soon? It's freeeeezing here right now, so take your hat and gloves (seriously!), and enjoy.

Toni much kissage is good :), I quite like kissage stage to last for a while because once you get to the sex stage, it's difficult not to then bypass kissage from then on.....

Wine - lucky escape !

I was having no luck on POF last week, but have been messaging someone I really quite like the look and sound of this week.... Trying not to get carried away! But he's asked loads of questions about me, has been very open (gave me his business email so I could have a nosy at his business website, and wow I am v impressed!), and is initiating contact every day..... Eek! I am so hard to impress, so now I'm eagerly anticipating -the first red flag- the next message...

When people say don't chat for too long before you meet in case of lack of spark (and I totally get that), how long are we actually talking? A week? 2 weeks? A month? I'm desperate to know if we actually like each other in real life!

Meh. How does one do a strikethrough?!

A month is way too long Django (IMO). 2 weeks will sometimes be inevitable if you're busy, but with a lot of contact I would definitely expect someone to at least suggest a drink after a week. To be honest if I like their photos and profile I will chance it with very little messaging. The most disappointing dates I've had have followed by the best email chat (and vice versa), so I very much see the online part as an introduction now.

You need two -- round each side of the word or phrase for strikethroughs :)

Am reading but not posting as Too Busy. Have been basically working full time this week which is wearing me out

Django I meet up as soon as possible. A few emails in my case, I don't even get into texting before meeting as I find it takes up a lot of time and sometimes they have no intention of meeting as it is all for the benefit of their ego. So, depending on fequency of mails anything from a couple of days to a week to set up the date.

And if you're at the 'excited to receive a message' phase, definitely meet up, to nip it in the bud or if the universe is for once aligned to kick off a good thing.

Ok thanks, I reckon he has about 2 days to ask then :). And he's just messaged me.... Will keep you posted :)