The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Whacking The Wine Witch Round The Chops (With Barry The Squid).

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

I'm one of the Brave Babes who's travelling on this wonderful, magical, mysterious Bus, trying to hold onto my sobriety for me, and for my family.

I do drink but thanks to this Bus, I've kicked the vodka addiction into touch and the evil WineWitch has been banished far, far away so I now drink in a controlled manner, One Day At A Time. :)

By that, I mean that just for today, I won't be drinking. Tomorrow, however, I will be because it's a very special occasion. The day after will be dealt with when I wake, and the day after that, the day after etc.....

We're a Bus filled with some fantastic posters, some who drink, some who don't touch a drop ever and some who are on/off drinkers who have lovely warm seats in the side-car, some are hanging onto the roof-rack by the tips of their fingers and trying their best to resist the dreaded WineWitch's charms night after night. But they are trying, and that's all that any of us can do, is keep trying, keep starting again!

So, if you think that you're drinking too much (you probably are) why not come and say hi? We won't bite - unless you ask very nicely, manners cost nothing .

There's lots of seats so pick whichever one you like and have a . Just jump in, we're not a judgemental pack of quiche makers

And here's a bit of light reading for you.... our latest thread and the very first one, the reason we're all here.

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

[KoalaKube]

Evening Babes

Having a Boudoir moment and so thought I'd catch up with you all,
just wanted to say hi to BabyJane- how you doing, day 6 is it - wow I have felt your journey, and over the last couple of weeks really felt you were getting to the 'enough is enough' phase. Keep going one day at a time and remember picking up the vino is not the answer to our day to day struggles. I try to think of myself nowadays living my life carrying around my cluncking 3 bottles of pinot grigio in a tesco carrier with me everywhere - cos that was effectively what I was doing.

Well done Shaky you sound like a little wil o the wisp it's amazing how much energy you find when you stop drinking, ie when did I have time to booze with all this to do. Remember to look after yourself and perhaps have a little pampering time tonight too - around WW time is a good idea, and into PJs so you can't pop to shop is a good strategy too!

And just to add to Mouse's post - I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for JesusWhatNext's posts all those years ago - that are still chugging along in the internet superhighway that the BBBBus also travels. I was desperate for help, and found her words and journey and spent the whole night reading and not drinking, then there were other stories of sobriety and of falling off the bus, and climbing on again,and silly threads and loving jokes, and hearing about families and friends and I followed them all. It didn't matter that they were old threads for me they were now and they were helping.

So today I WILL NOT BE DRINKING.

Koala

[Ladame]

Mouse I {{heart}} you, as always xx

Isinde Beautiful, I love them xx

All Babes - Every. Single. One. Of. You. Have a good evening and trouble-free night.

From across the pond my appreciation for ALL of you.

Bon nuit cheries.

[PurpleWolfe]

I will, if I may, totally change the subject.

It's occurred to me in the past few weeks that there is no-one like 'us' portrayed in the media (by that, I mean soaps. Very non MN to admitting to watching soaps but I suspect lots of us do. No? Just me then?!) or any films that I've seen. It seems to me that, whilst we are not stereotypical, we are, on the whole, middle-ish aged Mums who are struggling with our inability to control our alcohol intake to the level we would like. Coping day to day but struggling with our consciences.

As far as I can remember the candidates for the awards are:

Carla Connor (Coronation Street) - Seemingly serious problem for knicker factory boss high-flying exec who seems to have quashed the problem with no help from the Doctor, AA or any other source. Hmmmm.

Peter Barlow (Corrie). One time bad boy. Been in the services, been in prison, continuing struggle with booze, AA advocate - but NOT female!

Geordie woman (Emmerdale) (soz, not that much of a Soapie - can't remember her name) - Long term slapper (eeek! Did I really type that out loud!?) who abandoned her daughter to foster care early on in her life and then spends effort trying to get back in DD good books but...gets drunk, fag falls on floor, sets fire to to boyfriends house with two children in. Don't worry, all get saved!! So, a 'bad 'un!

Someone's mother on Holyoaks - Secret drinking and abandonment of (older) children who have to pull her out of bad situations and take responsibility for her.

I think the fact of struggling with alcohol still has such a stigma to it. We hear that it's a disease but it's dealt with like a weakness, not an illness. No one like me, at all, portrayed on the TV. How can that be. It seems there are lots of us with a similar fight against WW.

Love to hear if anyone has seen a portrayal of a woman with a problem relationship with alcohol that has a bearing on reality.

Bad news: Doing totally shit here re: alcohol. Sorry, lovelies.

Good news: Gave DD a roasting after her last school report. She's always been 'above average' (sorry, but true) and her report had been decidedly average. Told her that if she didn't pull her academic socks up, I'd move her away from her friends to a different school. It worked! Fab report. Really proud (of her, not me, natch!)

Waves to all tonight. I'm not sober tired and wouldn't want to miss someone out in a nc. xxxxxx

[Ladame]

Great post Purple- people on tv seem to have a 'problem', then it disappears. Be it, Oh I don't know KILLING SOMEONE (ahem, Tracey Barlow) or the life and loves of Gail Platt .

Anyway I wanted to say something else ... deep breath ... I don't give a f**k if I'm outed in real life. I live in a small expat community over here and I could be 'outed' at any moment. I have good friends and I have ALL of you. And I feel part of something that means something to ME. Just sayin'.

[PurpleWolfe]

Ladame I so admire your bravery! I wish I had some of your strength. Thank you for your continued support Lovely. x

[lonnika]

Hi purple - well done to your daughter xxx
Other babes - hi - hope you are all keeping well.
Taking steps - glad to see you are still around and sober - wishing you well with your appointment with the doctor xxxx -
Tonight I am drinking raspberry and grapefruit with diet lemonade xxx
Keep strong all
much love L x

[Ladame]

purple My late dad (oh! how I miss him ) used to say to me 'sometimes sweetheart you just have to jump off and build your wings on the way down'. So now I don't mind jumping off xx

[aliasjoey]

purple well you must be doing something right to have such a clever, hard-working and mature daughter!

ello guggs

I don't watch the soaps, but in the books I read drinkers are usually portrayed in a similar way. In the chick lit, neighbours are always popping in each others houses and having a drink to get them over some crisis. I used to be jealous, but it's not real is it? Alternatively, there may be a proper drunk - often a man or much older woman - and everyone just ignores them. There isn't anybody I recognise, a functional alcoholic or an ex-alcoholic who is very careful about controlling what they drink.

[greeneyed]

Thank you for the lovely poems Isinde I have just ordered Wild Geese from Amazon, look forward to reading it - I am missing art from my world.

Purps I'm in the sidecar with you. I feel humbled by the abstainers on here at the moment - all power to you, you sound happy :) Love to all babes xx

[Shaky]

Those poems are lovely,

Another example of someone on the TV with alcohol problems is Bree from desperate housewives.

The WW is being a right bitch tonight. She is telling me that "just a tiny glass won't hurt". I have my fingers in my ears.

Just boiled the kettle to make my hot choc to take upstairs. I have eaten the bolognaise and some chocolate cake too.

Trying to stay strong.

I am starting to love all you Brave Babes xxx

[babyjane1]

koala thank you for dropping in, you have set an example I aspire to follow. mouse you have put your heart and soul into this thread and time you have little of so I will say I very much appreciate your amazing efforts at keeping this thread alive and you have a direct impact on keeping some of us alive. There are so many travesties/ tragedies in this thread, we can only really respond to those we have experience of or can contribute to but I care about every babe fighting the same fight I am and this thread is sometimes a confessional and needs no response other than a virtual hug from another babe or just the relief of my own offloading. I love this thread, I would be bereft without it and most defiinately I would be DRUNK, day 6 and tonight I will not drink x x c

[Shaky]

I have decided that my pyjamas are my protective armour from WW, she can't touch me now

[aliasjoey]

armoured pyjamas

[dementedma]

Wow, where to begin after all these posts? With a big Well Done to shaky and huge hug to the wise and lovely Venus perhaps? A wave to koala and a (smile),for purple and guggs and theala and a big thank you for two favourite poems to indie and a standing ovation to mouse.
Now, who have I missed? How pissed off are they? ......argh, can I live with myself???
This thread is like real life, you know the one where people forget to phone or email or a friend though they said they would, didn't send that birthday card, forgot to post that letter? It is not the end of the world and it is not personal,its life.this thread is where people can dump just because it makes them feel better, because sometimes writing it down is all they need. Not everyone needs a response all the time. Its nice when you get one, but if you don't then either shout louder of get over it.this thread and the people on it are fabulous and save lives.
curry your situation sounds horrendous. Is there no family support, social work support, charity organisations who can help with emergency housing? Welfare officer at work? People on here will listen and help where possible, but if you feel its not for you and you can find more help elsewhere then so be it. I genuinely hope things improve for you and all those struggling.

[greeneyed]

I LOVE armoured pyjamas!

Go baby :)

[fullofhopefullness]

Hi there day went well tg think things will be fine 1 way or another. Cant remember if this is day 7 or day 8 because getting up awful early these days! Good luck to all.

[Mouseface]

Oh Dame - that has made me want to you, missing your dad - and I love that saying.

I like to think that you feather your child's wings as they grow, you thicken them as they spread, you patch the gaps, smooth the ripples, make sure that they are span wide enough to hold and bear the weight of the world they circle. You ensure that their wings are sleek, and beautiful, and everything that they need to be as your child changes and develops, teaching them how to repair them with every ruffle that they encounter, so that they can pass it on, Pay It Forward.

I love this thread, it's my home in lots of ways, my safe place.

Off to bed, stay safe all xxx

[greeneyed]

Mouse you weave the strands that hold this thread together - much love x

[babyjane1]

I feel warmth without wine, that's what's you guys do, every single one of you, YES YOU!!!!! Night my lovely friends x x x

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

purple, thank you so much for writing that post, I didn't realize how much that was bugging me until you said it all!

So true, though.

The thing that annoys me, too, is the way that in the media they like portraying 'rock bottom' as some kind of ephiphany state. Now I don't think I am very convinced. Maybe someone on here has had a 'moment' when they suddenly realized they had to stop, but don't most of us have a series of moments?

I think maybe the most realistic one is Abbey on ER (which is on my mind as I'm watching it) - she stopped, she had a sponsor, she periodically got shown going to meetings, chatting about it with other people, relapsing a few times, etc. etc. That seemed realistic to me. And the secret drinking of wine in coke cans or whatever it was.

I also like that she was an alcoholic and a mum, and the sky didn't fall and she didn't have her children taken away because - shock horror - she didn't actually endanger said child.

Well done to your lovely DD.

[lonnika]

Morning :). Day 25 today - blimey if you had told me 25 days ago I would still be going I am not sur I would have believed you :)
Reading the posts on here keeps me strong. I have a lot of there but the grace of god go I moments and without getting too emotional I really believe this thread has helped to save my life - I can see how drinking is a downward spiral and no one sets out to be at the bottom of that spiral.

That said the WW still comes calling - tempting me - only not so often or not so strong :)

Thanks to all posters on here again - I take inspiration from the sober ones and strength from the.ones who battle daily - good luck to you all :)

See you later L x

[ohcluttergotme]

Hi babes, sorry not been on as been busy in RL. But my goodness this thread has moved fast. I sometimes feel guilty that I'm an occasional poster as my days are busy & at night like to spend time with dh but then think life I hard & stressful enough & don't need to stress myself thinking about not being on bus enough.
I've also done what Venus said & sat with pen & paper & wrote out key points to reply to each poster but sometimes just don't have time & then worry it comes across as false.

I have been on this bus since last September & can honestly say its changed my way of drinking & my life, I love that it is always here, utmost love & respect to the fantabulous lovely mouse & all the regular posters. I know without this bus I would still be in a depressive cycle of binge drinking/shame/guilt/depression/anxiety.
Curry I loved your role call, I loved reading little snippets of the babes. With this bus as in RL you can't please all of the people all of the time.
I think we females are such a sensitive lot due to the fact we are so loving and caring and kind but sometimes that backfires & we per think & over analysis. Then into that add RL stress, alcohol, sleepless nights & we can get ourselves into a right pickle.
Be kind to yourselves babes, life is hard, bringing up children is the hardest job. Drinking does not make any of this easier long term. Stay here, post, lurk, give advice, get advice but most of all be kind to yourself.
Much love to all the babes today
Day 20. I will not be drinking today xx

[Fairenuff]

Wow the bus is fair rattling along at the moment. I guess that's what happens when you have a squid driving

Mintyy I read your posts, lovely, but didn't realise you expected a reply, sorry. I do usually read all the posts to catch up with everyone but sometimes by the time I get to the end I've forgotton those I read at the beginning! I usually chat best when it's 'live' iyswim?

venus thinking of you today x

To Everyone hope you have a good day

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Oh, wow lonnika, congratulations on day 25! It's really lovely to read your post (I'm on day 5 and trying to get ahead). Thanks for the inspiration. And to clutter.

Have a good day, everyone.

[Ladame]

Bonne Matin gorgeous and lovely babes

Oooerrr, something I noticed going on in Corrie (now look, if this turns out to be true, remember I spotted it first and DESERVE to get namechecked for it . Anyhoo ... Anna (mum of Gary, adoptive mum of Faye) has been seen drinking very large glasses of white wine witch over the last few episodes. One episode in particular, think it was Monday, she asked Owen to get her another drink and he said something along the lines of ?you finished that one a bit quick, didn?t you??. I?m telling you, she?s gonna be next ....
And how did Carla Connor go from two bottles of red to a couple of glasses ? Was it just the love of Peter wot did it?

Have a great Friday all babes.