The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Whacking The Wine Witch Round The Chops (With Barry The Squid).

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

I'm one of the Brave Babes who's travelling on this wonderful, magical, mysterious Bus, trying to hold onto my sobriety for me, and for my family.

I do drink but thanks to this Bus, I've kicked the vodka addiction into touch and the evil WineWitch has been banished far, far away so I now drink in a controlled manner, One Day At A Time. :)

By that, I mean that just for today, I won't be drinking. Tomorrow, however, I will be because it's a very special occasion. The day after will be dealt with when I wake, and the day after that, the day after etc.....

We're a Bus filled with some fantastic posters, some who drink, some who don't touch a drop ever and some who are on/off drinkers who have lovely warm seats in the side-car, some are hanging onto the roof-rack by the tips of their fingers and trying their best to resist the dreaded WineWitch's charms night after night. But they are trying, and that's all that any of us can do, is keep trying, keep starting again!

So, if you think that you're drinking too much (you probably are) why not come and say hi? We won't bite - unless you ask very nicely, manners cost nothing .

There's lots of seats so pick whichever one you like and have a . Just jump in, we're not a judgemental pack of quiche makers

And here's a bit of light reading for you.... our latest thread and the very first one, the reason we're all here.

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

hi Curry,
I liked your idea about everyone giving some info about themselves - I think your right new people come get welcomed and then disappear. Does anyone remember taking steps - I wonder often if she is ok ? I really hope so :)
Day 24 today - feeling great :). WW still comes calling but don't want to go back to day 1 so that keeps me strong. -
Well done Phoenix on day 2 great job. Hope Shaky you r ok. as for anyone still struggling one day you will find the strength :)
See u all laters ....

Sorry to be petulant, I did notice guggs sending love and I appreciate it.
thank you. have a good day all x

I have an idea. Perhaps we could set up a secret group on fb, if we each set up an fb account using our MN names rather than our RL names, we could still keep the threads going but a secret group on fb would be private for those who don't want their info on a public forum. Just an idea.

Today is day 3. Onwards and upwards.

curry why are you leaving? some of us (me included) really liked your idea. someare a bit more wary. it doesn't mean it's a bad idea or that we think you're crap for suggesting it.
stay and contribute if it helps you. and i like having you around anyway.

full glad you're feeling a bit better this morning. let us know how the talk with the union person goes won't you?

lonnika congratulations on day 24!

shaky how are you feeling this morning?

i have to say, i am loving waking up and not being hungover and not worrying about what i did/said last night.

have a good day all! xx

Hi curry it wasnt a bad idea at it was very good and inclusive and nice. Any problems that arose were my own stupid fault through lack of thought. Please dontvthink pf leaving because im stupid!!!

I thought it was a good idea too. I signed up for it. Although I did keep personal info to a minimum.

Tbh I don't see how the bus could be more welcoming, supportive, available and inclusive. If everyone signed up on that bio list there would literally be hundreds of posters.

Some have stayed pretty much from their first post, some have gone and come back, some have name changed, some have met up in rl, some have private pm conversations, some have left for good, some are mostly lurkers and occasional posters, some are only lurkers, some are only here to get support for friends or relatives.

It really is like a cross section of society. And, just as in real life, it's not possible to speak to everyone as often as we'd like. Yes, some posts do get missed, or the people online don't know what to reply right then so wait for someone else to come along.

We all make mistakes with people's names, families, jobs, circumstances sometimes. I hard to keep track of what's going on in all these different lives. Some posters team up because they have a lot in common and post more to each other as they are developing a relationship.

Somtimes, just the fact that you are both on Day 5 is enough to want to 'buddy up' and support each other through the tricky days.

I personally re-wrote a popular song to try and express how much I value everyone's posts and would like everyone to stay. I try to keep in touch as much as I can and I do go awol for a few days sometimes because rl just takes over. And when I come back it's hard to get back into all the latest happenings. So I might not respond to everyone straight away.

But anyone, absolutely anyone who posts a distress call will get the Brave Babes SWAT team. There are offers of help all over the bus to do with business, practicalities with children, health, etc. I have never seen such collective generosity and kindness in one place. True dat

So, I guess the point of this long post is this. If you feel you have not been acknowledged, or accepted, keep posting. Keep trying. Shout and stamp your feet until the bus shakes. We are only human but we all do our best to help each other.

Oh and, just so you know, I don't even try to name check everyone because if I missed someone that would be worse I think. So if I haven't mentioned anyone it's not that I'm ignoring you it's more that I'm just responding to those that I have something helpful (hopefully) or supportive to say. And I often just make random general posts to everyone.

< waves to all >

Have a good day babes

Curry I'm not sure what you want from this - since I last logged on there must have been 50 posts - I am working all hours God sends at the moment plus juggling all the other shit that comes down the chute (Your saying that has always resonated with me). I often don't have time to post and read and run or just respond to someone I think I have something to say to. I certainly can't spend an hour now namechecking everyone since my last log in and acknowledging their posts - I have enough things to worry stress and feel guilty about than this place too. Perhaps I can't give it the commitment required? But to be honest I really don't see it that way - we come, we post, we sometimes get replies that's the way it goes. It's not a popularity contest but obviously those who have been around the longest and post the most will be remembered by more people.

I don't agree about new posters being forgotten, they are often given lots of support, however often they stop posting and disappear. I don't want you to go as I love your posts but I don't want to worry about upsetting you or anyone else for that matter if I don't namecheck you in my next one. Perhaps the board is too busy for some people?

The analogy of throwing a message in a bottle overboard amonst a sea of messages is a good one, maybe it'll get picked up maybe it won't that's the way it goes.

Well that's me being blunt for the morning!!

Love to all babes - some inspiring abstinence on here at the moment :) xx

Curry Look, I thought it was a very good idea. It?s certainly made me want to post more that?s for sure and I need to, because I still struggle and if I feel I?m on my own, I get v depressed about it. I don?t know if you remember me from a while back. I was the smug old smartypants that went on about the 5:2 diet (which I only managed to do for about a month and lost precisely two pounds which I put straight back on). I got few replies to my posts, only Mouse ever namechecked me and I felt like I was butting my head against a little forcefield. I wasn?t in on the zeitgeist (?) of the current thread at that time and so I drifted off. But I lurked and read and, incidentally, I read all your posts. I made myself come back and jump in. I like the support and feeling part of a group. Please don?t go. I?m not sure what can be done about it. We can?t all namecheck everyone, but it?s upsetting to have posted and then no-one mentions you. Sometimes you read a post and think ?yeah, I understand that ? and then carry on. What to do? What to do? Then also (you know who you are Purple ) there are babes that feel they?re not contributing enough. Well, the thing I like about the bus is the whole ?we?re all in this together? feeling. I know if I fk up, I can come here for some support and understanding. It seems that there are so many of us, which is completely brilliant, but how can we round us all up so that no-one falls through the net? There are babes I feel I almost know like Venus for instance, but I have never ?spoken? to her. Sometimes I think babes don?t comment if they have no expertise in a subject. I worried about Full last night, but I can?t give her any advice, so I don?t comment and then feel a bit bad. I don?t have Facebook, don?t want FB and will never have FB, so I couldn?t join in on that. This seems to be a recurring theme and there doesn?t seem to be a solution. Anyone got any ideas?

lonnika thanks for thinking of me

I do pop in and read most days but don't post as I'm in such a different situation to the rest of you. Someone on MN came across my previous posts and we have exchanged a few PM's. That has been nice.

To recap for those that don't know, I'm 42, alcoholic for years and I went to A&E in April in a right mess. I was admitted immediately. I had ascites and over 10 litres of fluid was drained from my tummy. I was in hospital for 5 days and detoxed.

I was re-admitted approx 2 weeks later. Very confused, vomiting, swollen legs and other unpleasant symptoms which I won't go into at breakfast time! Turns out my potassium was low, there are signs of heart damage and my blood pressure is low most of the time. Another 4 days in hospital. The doctor told me on my final day in there that I have cirrhosis of the liver .

I've been out about 2 weeks now. Sober for 31 days but the fluid is building back up in my tummy. My 'urgent' appointment with the liver specialist is in July. Until then, I have to walk round looking 6 months pregnant, and having had a hysterectomy, it's getting pretty hard to explain to explain away especially as the rest of my body is so thin. I look like an egg on legs.

I shall pop back into lurking mode but I wish all of you the best.

TakingSteps Sorry lovely. Please let us know how you get on.

Did I do something wrong....? I'm not sure what went on as I lost tinterweb connection....

Hope everyone is good today xx

curry I definitely found the list of posters useful. Even after 13 months on the Bus, I still find it hard to remember who's who (Is JWIM a man or a woman? Is silver a mythical beast like a unicorn?)

I often wish mumsnet would let us have signatures or pictures to accompany our posts. Failing that, the bio-list was a great idea (and people don't have to contribute if they don't want to)

I admit sometimes I don't reply if there is no useful advice to give. I have no experience of vegans, twins, children with special needs, unemployment or divorce. Sometimes it does feel cliquey, what with Barry being thrown about and somebody at the back playing the triangle... but a lot of the time its not at a cliquey, its very inclusive and welcoming.

Morning babes.....

Can you get to your GP? Have you been given the tablets?

ma that is fantastic news about Richard

full ACAS may be the way forward here....

To everyone else: I think that we all go through phases of getting the jitters about posting on here and feel ignored - I know that I do at the moment. But it passes. {{HUGS}} to anyone feeling down at the moment. That's meant for you too, curry

As far as I'm concerned, I'm back in the sidecar again. Too much rubbish to do with work, there is nothing I can do about what has transpired. It's a different area of work, but at least I have a job.

I second the secret FB page - I think it's easier to follow lots of posts on there - I can't keep flipping back pages on here without messing up anything I want to post.

Anyway, I'm off on holiday for a week on Saturday - I won't be posting so much after that, due to new job description etc......

{{HUGS}} to you all and sorry for not namechecking more people...

Hi takingsteps, I do remember you.

hi everyone else who said they didn't think the roll call was such a terrible idea, thanks for saying so.

Greeneyed - what do I want from this? just somewhere to go where I am not the bad guy all the time

OK I am being oversensitive because Real Life, but here is some stuff about what is going on about me at the moment:

my job is changing due to a corporate buy out in ways that are being determined by people I am not allowed to meet. I am not allowed to ask anything about this, not even WHEN they might get around to THINKING about my job, because OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS SO BUSY THEY CAN'T BE DISTURBED WITH MY CONCERNS AND THEY ARE ALL SO UPSET WITH ALL THE CHANGES. (no shit) Meanwhile it is hard to service my clients who depend on stuff from me to do business, because I can't find out the information I need to help them, so OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO UPSET THEY ARE BEING LET DOWN THEY ARE MISSING THEIR DATES AND LOSING MONEY. Stuck between this, my feelings don't matter shit.

Meanwhile. My family got given notice from our house. No one gives a shit how that feels, that's business. we try to buy a place but our mortgage application is interminably delayed by having a COMPLETELY INVOLUNTARY CHANGE OF ADDRESS (to a tiny house with fleas, which was all we could get, but nobody gives a shit how it feels to be living in a place where you are paying to be bitten by the landlord's dog's fleas). The vendor, who has life problems of her own but that's not my story so I won't say anything about it other than stressy vendor, is all OH MY GOD THEY HAVEN'T GOT A MORTGAGE OFFER YET I AM PULLING OUT I AM SO EXHAUSTED WITH THIS and the estate agent is all, oh poor vendor, you are really messing her around, she is very emotional, and I am thinking SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO COMPLETE BY END OF MAY. WE ARE ON TRACK TO DO THIS DUE TO CONSIDERABLE EFFORTS BY ME. IF SHE PULLS OUT NOW SHE IS JUST ONE OF THOSE DICKS WHO SAYS THEY ARE SELLING, LETS A BUYER INVEST A TON OF TIME AND MONEY, AND THEN SAYS OH NO, I DON'T FEEL LIKE SELLING ANY MORE. why is she getting all the sympathy? I can't say this as it might be inflammatory and I am still trying to hold the deal together. meanwhile my family are hovering on the edge of homelessness again as the flea-place is short term only. I have killed all the fleas by the way, at great effort and expense with no help or contribution from the man whose dog left them there.

Meanwhile I spend so much time every day making phone calls and sending emails and registered letters about this, that every night I take 4 hours work home to do between 8 and midnight. No one gives a shit about that, about how it feels to be ALWAYS on (I know I am not the only one). It's my job. Who cares. I should have done it in the day. OH BUT I WAS BUSY TRYING NOT TO BE HOMELESS TODAY. who cares, my problem.

Meanwhile a bunch of people on the internet are trying to support each other beating an addiction and I think oh wouldn't it be nice if we all knew who each other was and then this turns into someone else's emotional disaster even though she chose what to write, so what the fuck I'm out.

Curry, so sorry about your current situation. Stress-city.

Lemony . I was given 2 lots of water tablets when I went in hospital the second time. They don't seem to be doing anything, so I went to the doctor on Monday and he upped the dose of one of them, but I'm still not improving fluid wise. However, I'm not in pain, I'm eating and not classed as an emergency so I'll have to plod on. I really need to see the specialist.

I've got another appointment with the doctor in 2 weeks, after a blood test. He said the tablets will mess with my potassium and electrolytes so he has to take things slowly with me.

Enjoy your holiday.

Good morning babes, I was going to name check every single one of you to prove that I have respect and empathy with every situation but having back tracked the thread for just a few days, I got at least 19 names so it goes to prove the speed and volume of people who use the bus. I truly value every post and fully appreciate that the bus aside we all have big full lives. much of the time full of difficulties and challenges which I guess kinda brought us here in the first place. I would hate to lose any one of you babes, we will all get our moment in the sun and we must use all our strength against the wine witch, GROUP HUG!!! Day 6 here xxxx

((((Group Hug))))) back to everyone.

Curry I am sorry you are having such a stressful time at the moment. I am new to the bus so there is no way I could acknowledge everyone but am looking forward to getting to know you all. I think the roll call idea was great, by the way, and I was happy to add my name to it.

Good morning babes, I was going to name check every single one of you to prove that I have respect and empathy with every situation but having back tracked the thread for just a few days, I got at least 19 names so it goes to prove the speed and volume of people who use the bus. I truly value every post and fully appreciate that the bus aside we all have big full lives. much of the time full of difficulties and challenges which I guess kinda brought us here in the first place. I would hate to lose any one of you babes, we will all get our moment in the sun and we must use all our strength against the wine witch, GROUP HUG!!! Day 6 here xxxx

I think it would be even more cliquey if you all went off to Facebook, leaving the people here who aren't on FB!

Yeah, I hate FB and try never to use it.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment, curry. It does all sound very stressful. I don't think any emotional disasters were about your roll call, though, more about life shite in general. Please don't take it personally.

How are you feeling today, alias? Any better?

Ok, just an idea

taking steps so sorry to hear your news It sounds like to are being accepting of the situation and resilient, but please post here too if it gets to you and you need more support.

It was a far enough idea. :)

How are you getting on, Shaky?

Morning all.

Wow this thread moves fast!

ma, brilliant news about the Sally Army.

phoenix - I get exhausted too when I've just stopped. I think it evens out in the end. I try to distract myself by running a bath or brushing my teeth or similar. This is a bit extreme, but if you get up really early, you will be yawning by 9 or 10 so there are fewer hours in the evening to worry about.

mouse - hope nemo is better this morning, poor love. Why is his teacher worried about the lisp, do you know?

isinde - you thought I was older? It's my wisdom and maturity, innit? Ah, no, it's my raddled appearance, making its way into my typing.

purple - you and I are both old-timers on here, aren't we? You more than me if I remember rightly. May I pull up a seat by you? We'll get through it.

I have found it really nice to learn who we all are, but I do see what people are saying. At some point I'm going to have to face up to the fact I'm pretty open on here (and I want to be), but I would be extremely easy to track down. At the moment it doesn't matter, but it could in the future.

I've got to say, I think it's quite important that people feel able to post and then disappear. I think it's good that someone can post, and if they don't post again, yes, there might be a few 'so-and-so, how are you doing?' posts but we don't have people feeling they must come back and update. I drop in and out of here all the time, and I like the way I get welcomed back to start again with no judgement. I think it matters for newbies to get to feel that too, so it doesn't necessarily matter if people post and then go again. They'll come back when they're ready.

So I don't see how having a roll call is unwelcoming, and I like it.

I would rather not go on FB. We do have PMs, though - it's always possible to just do a bit more of that?

curry, I'm really sorry you're leaving - is there anything we can do to get you to stay? PM me if you want to chat, too.

full glad to hear you survived, it's scary when we feel so overwhelmed that we don't know how we can keep on going.

A few years ago my dsis was in a situation similar to yours (also NHS). She looked dreadful - constantly worried and angry and unable to influence her situation - neither to complete important work nor to secure her own future. When the worst did happen, she actually started to look much better, she knew what she was dealing with, had less uncertainty and much less fear about what might be possible.

She also found a new job working with a charity. She loves it, is appreciated, and she looks great.