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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Whacking The Wine Witch Round The Chops (With Barry The Squid).

999 replies

Mouseface · 01/05/2013 17:32

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

I'm one of the Brave Babes who's travelling on this wonderful, magical, mysterious Bus, trying to hold onto my sobriety for me, and for my family.

I do drink but thanks to this Bus, I've kicked the vodka addiction into touch and the evil WineWitch has been banished far, far away so I now drink in a controlled manner, One Day At A Time. :)

By that, I mean that just for today, I won't be drinking. Tomorrow, however, I will be because it's a very special occasion. The day after will be dealt with when I wake, and the day after that, the day after etc.....

We're a Bus filled with some fantastic posters, some who drink, some who don't touch a drop ever and some who are on/off drinkers who have lovely warm seats in the side-car, some are hanging onto the roof-rack by the tips of their fingers and trying their best to resist the dreaded WineWitch's charms night after night. But they are trying, and that's all that any of us can do, is keep trying, keep starting again!

So, if you think that you're drinking too much (you probably are) why not come and say hi? We won't bite - unless you ask very nicely, manners cost nothing Wink.

There's lots of seats so pick whichever one you like and have a Brew. Just jump in, we're not a judgemental pack of quiche makers Wink

And here's a bit of light reading for you.... our latest thread and the very first one, the reason we're all here.

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

OP posts:
curryeater · 22/05/2013 16:43

Well we were thrown out of our old house. we made an offer on a house to buy so we can stop being thrown out of houses. Now it looks as if our being-thrown-out-of-houses days are far from over because if this falls through we are going to be thrown out of our short term let anyway. Goddammit I am sick of being thrown out of houses.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 22/05/2013 16:46
Sad

That is really shit. I didn't mean to belittle it, btw, I just mean I was initially worried you'd nowhere to go right now.

I can rant for England on the state of renting, though. I really hope you get this house in the end. It is absolutely appalling the amount of stress and insecurity you have to go through in this situation.

dementedma · 22/05/2013 16:46

so sorry to read and run haven't read all but just to tell you that got a meeting with Sally Army next week and they think they can keep Richard for 3 months now and he can work as a volunteer there while they help him find housing!
I am just so very happy. Grin
Also, current boss announced his resignation today in my work and lovely ex-boss is interested in coming back!Grin Grin

curryeater · 22/05/2013 17:23

Oh Ma, brilliant thanks for letting us know that fabulous piece of news.
I love the Sally Army! (always have since their yummy mince pies at the carol concerts we went to when kids, but even more now)

LRD, thanks for the sympathy. Renting really is so shittily skewed to shaft the tenants. we got turfed out of the old place, while we still thought we were on the verge (hollow laugh) of buying a place, so were trying to find a way of having somewhere to live without having to commit to a 6 month let. No one would look at us. How can you be able to kick tenants out with 3 months notice, yet they have to commit to 6 to get a new place? Eventually the lettings dept of the EA selling us the house found us a 3 month let because the landlord basically couldn't give it away and would take what he could get. But we had to pay 3 months + deposit up front, while the old landlord was still sitting on our old deposit, plus we had to pay to move. At that moment it felt like every penny was just flowing out of us. We only did it because we dug heavily into our life's savings - that were supposed to be a deposit for a house - but hey ho what the fuck if we are going to be so dicked about we can't buy anyway.

I can really see how normal people and families end up homeless. Of course we could still become them.

Ladame · 22/05/2013 17:47

Curry So sorry to hear about your house problems. Don't they say that it is one of the most stressful things to go through. I really really hope it resolves itself for you as soon as possible.

15 Lasagnes done, dusted and delivered, phew! Off to shower off the tomato puree and bits of grated courgette.

Looks out my bestest French cheese to tempt Mouse - I've got a gawjus one from the Loire Valley and one impregnated with walnuts. (Leaving two nice pieces on seat - far from Barry) Too tired to even think of WW and fed up of kitchen, so refusing to go back in there!

Wishing all babes old and new a safe journey through the evening and night, bus lights dimmed and Barry snoring gently in his bucket.
Bon nuit mes cheries x

fullofhopefullness · 22/05/2013 18:20

Ps please can I change biography bit for me - I was in state of stress when I wrote not really realising that it would be such an integral part of this post. I dont want that to be my description. Is there any way of getting it out of there?

fullofhopefullness · 22/05/2013 18:21

Things move on and I should have not posted when in a state!!

curryeater · 22/05/2013 18:37

Full can you just copy and paste and change the bit you want - or even take it out? If not just tell me what, if anything, you want it to say and I will do later when not on phone.

fullofhopefullness · 22/05/2013 18:39

Thanks so much curry please take it all out for me if you can.

Fairenuff · 22/05/2013 18:40

Full I have taken your details out for you, as I was adding mine anyway, hope that's ok? Just add your edited bio when you want:

Obrigada - 50, 4 dd's (aged 17 to 27), separated 16 years, am a binge drinker, once I start I have trouble stopping!

ma,49, mother of two adult dds and one pre-teen DS. Serial offender when it comes to drinking. Record AF is two weeks.works fulltime, rocky relationship with dh, periodically attempts jogging to lose weifht

Mouseface - 38 - DH and DD 14 and Nemo just 4 -disabled full time carer 'training' for a sponsored 2.9km hobble/shuffle - attempting controlled drinking, resorting to abstinence instead when necessary.

Curryeater - 41 - DP and two small DDs - a job in media - attempting abstinence ODAAT

PurpleWolfe 51 Single (sob!) DS 31 - wayward, DD 11 - pre teen, DS - 9 and DS -7. Not working as have enough to do with three children to look after right now. Previous life - well paid PA (now not got enough brain cells!). Alcohol - serial re offender. Longest AF - 7 weeks

Guggs, 42. One ivf ds, teacher and bookworm. After many years on the booze I joined this lovely bus and after a long time of trying to abstain I realised that I can't control; I needed to stop. Sober for 4.5 months with AA. Have no idea if I will drink again or not, hope not.

Greeneyed [age unknown, copped out] Wrote what I though was a succinct and witty intro for me then worried about being identified....

Horses, DH, DS 14 and DD 11. Am comfortable with own drinking but am interested/hugely supportive of those with troublesome relationships with alcohol, have a friend who I believe drinks in an unhealthy way, family friend a recovering alcoholic with AA for 20 years.....

aliasjoey 42, DH and DD (10) and one dog (photo on profile)

Venus, 51 - but looks much, much younger due to lack of alcohol, fount of all wisdom (ha!), 2 grown dc, about to become a grandmother (shit - I must be old!), mostly not drinking at all.

Isinde - 48 permanently tired lesbian mother of twins. Runs own organisation/leadership/people related consultancy Longest dry is 5 weeks shorted is last night.
Crap at name checking and being responsible for continuity...and poetry but thinks otherwise

Clutter - 35. Dh, dd 14 ds 3. Work part time as Health Visitor.
Struggle with mortgage, teens & toddler tantrums, sometimes feel lost in the chaos.
Longest AF 12 weeks & felt so much calmer. Currently at 2 weeks & want to be AF forever

Mintyy - 50. Work very part time for a tiny company in a job I really love. Got dh, dd 12 and ds 9. Gradually falling out of love with white wine and slowly reducing overall consumption. Usually do 4 nights a week alcohol free but, annoyingly, occasionally forget all my good intentions and drink a whole bottle to myself and feel shite the next day (maybe once a month or so). Worried about six good friends in rl who I am certain are really struggling with alcohol. Lurk on the bus for inspiration and sobering thoughts.

Ladame -51. DH, DD19. Own catering company, long-time roofrack lurker. Bottle or nothing girl. Try for four nothings a week, would settle for three, usually manage two. Live in rural France where there is FA to do of an evening, hence a couple of hours at the end of the day with DH. Didn't drink much until mid-forties. Would like to have more willpower but am sadly lacking. Great admirer of babes that can abstain for days. Think should add B (for boredom) to HALT. Suffering from menopause and empty nest syndrome.

JWIM 50 recently (it's fine, really it is) DH and two teen DC. Very occasional poster since the first thread - a wonderful support in some dark days and now catch up when I can. Nearly 3 years almost entirely AF after 10 years of increasing consumption (white wine - poison of choice) a bottle plus every night by the end. Abstinence is so much easier for me - very occasional single glass of wine but it does raise my 'I want more, more regularly' thinking and I am mindful that that would only end badly.

Lemonylemon 50 week after next DS 16 week after next, DD 6 in October. Separated from DS's Dad a few years before he died in 2004; widowed (sort of, it was 3 weeks to our wedding day) in 2007. Now just the 3 Musketeers and 2 cats; longest time AF since 2007, 11 days in February. Now on Day 3. Was drinking a bottle of white every night for quite a while. Work in legal (but not employment, unfortunately).

Theala 38, no kids (sore point), on the point of splitting up with bipolar DP. Have been using drink as a way to escape for far too long. Just started anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds.

Shaky - 40, one ds 3.5, community midwife. I have been forced to confront the fact that I am drinking too much. I suffer depression and need to work out whether I drink because I am depressed or depressed because I drink. I am here to try and break the cycle.

Babyjane 42 2 dd's 2 and 13, have Crohn's disease which causes me terrible pain and anxiety, starting medicating with wine, depression kicked in and so did even more wine, want to live live life without thinking about wine every day.

LRDtheFeministDragon. 28. No children. Alcoholic who managed to get sober for nearly a year (thanks Babes!) but slipped back. Tending to go a few days and fall, but trying to stop. I pop in and out of the thread but I would really like to stay and make a go of it. Studying and trying to get a job

KittyVonCatsworth - 37 (had to think), one child of 17. I have slipped into a habit of having one or two each night, and tanking a bottle on Friday & Saturday night. Never used to be a big drinker, but my job did involve a lot of social events and a family tragedy to boot and found my tolerance (read: ability to get pissed) increased, thus drinking more. Like to reduce my intake significantly.

Fairenuff married with two teenagers dd 16 ds 14. Firmly in the bus most days (not drinking) but ridiing Roger the Roofrack now and again (controlled drinking). Occasional maker upper of poetry (bad) and song lyrics (terrible).

fullofhopefullness · 22/05/2013 18:40

I feel just now like I cant go on or cope or survive unfortunately. Im trying to keep going.

Fairenuff · 22/05/2013 18:41

Ooops, cross posted Grin

Fairenuff · 22/05/2013 18:43

Full what's going on, want to share?

fullofhopefullness · 22/05/2013 18:46

Is it possible to die of stress?? Presumably so. The only good thing is that it stops me wanting to eat or drink anything so might lose some weight.

fullofhopefullness · 22/05/2013 18:49

Thanks faire really thanks. But I feel like Im going to die and cant go on but will.

phoenix2 · 22/05/2013 18:55

was in bed last nite / eve before 8pm!! was so bloody tired. was ridiculously proud of myself though! spent the whole day being so proud of myself actually. i looked so much better due to good nights sleep, was in great form and was thinking if i feel this good today after one early alcohol free nite - imagine how i will feel after a week / 2 / 3 weeks even.

then imagine my horror when the ww started calling me - i looked the clock 6.16pm - giving dc's their dinner. FFS!!!!! Am going to stick to my guns though. Any words of wisdom? How long does it take to break this bloody cycle?????? Will i ever feel normal / be a normal drinker again?????

Fairenuff · 22/05/2013 19:13

phoenix have something to eat and a cup of hot chocolate, or something sweet. Keep your mind and hands busy until the craving passes. Once it's gone you will wonder what all the fuss was about Grin

It helps to change habits, so if you would normally drink in the kitchen, go out into the garden. Or if you would normally have a glass of something in your favourite comfy chair, go and do some ironing or something instead.

Full are you having a panic attack, or is something in particular causing you stress? Keep posting, lovely, this too will pass x

Mouseface · 22/05/2013 20:17

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Sorry for not being around.

Full - it's been sorted sweetheart as far as I can see, are you okay? I'm worried about you as are others by the look of things....... Big deep breathes, calm down, just slow down. If you want the previous posts removed with your Bio in, just say and I'll talk to MNHQ for you or report them all yourself, explaining why, it's okay, it really is :) xx

No-one will C&P them anymore sweetheart, it's okay, it really is Smile I'm going to PM you again. xx

Welcome to the wonderfully Brave Babes who have joined our journey recently :)

Thank you to those who have asked after me, sorry for being awol, little fish (Nemo) for those who are new or don't know) is poorly again, and I have spent the morning throwing up with the most horrific cramps (food poisoning) and he's had a temp for the last couple of nights and I've been looking after him, as well as trying to look after me!

Talking of which, I need to disappear again, but I will be back asap. xx

OP posts:
Theala · 22/05/2013 20:44

Mouse, you poor thing, that sounds dreadful. Can DH not look after Nemo for a bit if you're ill?

Full, we're all here for you. Hand-holding if you want it, or PM me if you want to talk. Is there anyone there with you?

I was very tempted by the WW this evening, but managed not to succumb. I even added a small glass of wine to the sauce I was cooking for dinner and managed not to serve the chef one as well. Also, managed to have a fairly honest talk with partner, which didn't end up with one or both of us screaming. I am feeling a bit like a grown-up this evening. Grin

dementedma · 22/05/2013 20:48

full hang on in there. Is there someone you can talk to? Phone Samaritans?

Isindebusagain · 22/05/2013 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theala · 22/05/2013 20:50

Oh, and well done on your good news Ma! That must be a huge relief to you!

fullofhopefullness · 22/05/2013 21:19

Hi thanks everyone I got the official letter when I got homevtelling me I was redundant in july. Im not dealing well have no support here and want to die.

fullofhopefullness · 22/05/2013 21:23

Its strange as it was a shitty job and I was treated badly. Bullied badly and nowhere reasonable to work. Noone will care about me and in fact I wont walk back in the stupid door again I will work at home. I am nice I think but they dont care where I go and what I do.

PurpleWolfe · 22/05/2013 21:24

Full Please phone the Samaritans. They are non judgemental and will listen to your problems. Please, Lovely, phone them - or someone you know. Have PM'd you too. xxxxxx

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