Husband left me after 30 years

[sadkaren2]

I don?t know what to do. Please help.

My husband has just left me. We have been together for over 30 years, married for 7.

He has been working in Edinburgh for 2 years (flies back every Friday) as he is a consultant. We live in Essex.

He rang me and told me he had met someone else, and was not coming home again. She is 35, has 2 kids, and he has been seeing her for a year.

He said he didn?t want to talk to me anymore at all ? all communication must be via email.

He also said he hasn?t loved me for years ? not even when we got married ? he just ?went along with it?. He says he loves me like a sister. He never sais anything was wrong. But he would ring me 3 times a day and tell me that he loved me. I had noticed he had been a bit distant, but thought that was due to tiredness. He was due to be coming home permanently at the end of May.

I have since found he has spent a fortune on his girlfriend, including paying a £9,500 tax bill for her, and over £1,000 on Valentines night.

I don?t work, and haven?t done for a number of years. We were having IVF, when I was discovered to have cancer. My last op was 18 months ago, and I am recovering well. Before that, I was the major earner in the relationship.

He is 49, and I am 48.

He has also taken for £100,000 worth of shared goods from the house, tho he says he will return them if ?the settlement says so?. He left most of his personal stuff. He won?t discuss money or almost anything, and just seems to want to live a life in Scotland and forget about me.

I don?t know what to do, I am so lost. He was my best friend, and I am still so in love with him. I just miss him so much. I just spend all day crying. I just want to stop the pain.

karen

[springykitsch]

oh, and I'm a pray-er. Well, not words - couldn't find any words tbh. Still can't really. No matter, God can cope

[cjel]

springy- praying got me through some times!! How are you today Karen haven't heard for a couple of days, are you ok?

[mrsmciver]

Hello Karen. you sounded a lot more positive, being active and getting the ball rolling financial wise. I hope you have a lot of support with you.x

[sadkaren2]

Thanks.
I have taken your advice and cut off contact with him.
He was trying to manipulate me, and threatened to cut off what money he was giving me.
I feel very sad again - his email messages were a bit of a "lifeline" to him, but I think in the long run it will be better for me.

[cjel]

I think it will as well, i kept going to work in our office to try and 'help' him and we got on really well while i was there but i realised within weeks that it was actually like picking a scab every time i saw him even thought i was comforted by seeing him as well. the hurt had chance to get better when i cut out seeing him I haven't seen him for 9 months now and still have times when I want to tell him something or miss him but I definately think no contact is better especially if he is starting to threaten you as well. let someone else deal with the threats(my solicitor was brilliant she said a llot of her work was relational not legal)
How you feeling? have you got rl support?

[captainmummy]

SadKaren - have you seen a solicitor? Honestly - it is not a case of him 'giving' you anything, it's to do with your entitlement. you've lost a good way of life, a decent income, to say nothing of the years you've had togther. It's not up to him how much you get. It's all a legal process; get a good team behind you. It won't ease the pain in your heart, but at least you know you are not going to just roll over a disppear.

[cjel]

Karen how are you today? have you managed to access any help?x

[sssosad]

hello, how are you all doing after 6months? my husband of 32 years left me four weeks ago. I can't breathe.

[sssosad]

how are you now? I'm 4weeks in an can't believe it will improve? how do you breathe?

[Thisisaeuphemism]

Sorry to hear that, sssosad. You might find it helpful to start your own thread if you would like some support. xx

[Mosman]

Six months is a life time in this situation .... Tiny baby steps and each hour as it comes. Surround yourself with sensible people and listen to them :-)

[LineRunner]

Spam reported.

[manaboutthemaison]

Spam ??

Dickhead more like

[dollius]

Who the fuck does this man think he is? From your account, you were the major breadwinner for most of the relationship anyway!

As there are no kids, he gets 50% of the assets. Why on earth does he think he should be entitled to more???

As for the air miles - well he can spend his 50% on whatever he wants. The other 50% are yours.

Time to lawyer up lady and I would get the divorce rolling before he can spend all YOUR money on little miss perky tits.

[LineRunner]

It's an old thread, resurrected by the spam of 'John Richmond'.

[OrangeSpeaker]

Hi Karen,

It is definitely not easy going through all this pain and suffering. In times like these it is best just to be with this feeling and observe it as best you can. The pain needs to run it's course and it's there for a very important reason. Rather then running away from it, go into it as much as you can. You might discover something truly amazing!

With love and light
OS

[itsbetterthanabox]

Reported the john Richmond spam

[AnyFucker]

Fuck off John you twat

When I try to press report on my titchy phone, it clicks on that nobber website

[FlossyMoo]

The OP hasn't been back. I hope it all worked out for her.

I have reported Knob Jockey above

[itsbetterthanabox]

Oh god what's on the website anyfucker?

[AnyFucker]

I don't know, I clicjed back before it loads

[LineRunner]

I hope MNHQ have banned him. That's twice he's spammed this one (old) thread.