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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread no 52

999 replies

BillMasen · 26/04/2013 15:11

The first one started by a bloke?

OP posts:
Toni2710 · 03/05/2013 23:48

*strict

VelvetSpoon · 04/05/2013 00:32

Kin my DS sounds much like yours, mine is just a couple of years behind. He thought the Hungarian gasmask was hilarious. Although he also found it hugely amusing I didn't have a clue what it meant. Bloody child Hmm

Those are the ricecakes I like too, I think they're Kallo ones? Amazing. Am most looking forward to having 1 or 2 3 tomorrow Grin

I guess time will tell where C is concerned. He's away for a bit now (on his own) so possibly that will give him time to think. And buy me a birthday present :)

Toni welcome to the thread! Hope your date on Weds goes well.

ALittleStranger · 04/05/2013 00:44

OK, thoughts on women being the one to seize the initiative for a follow up? Sounds like a dead old fashioned question I know, but OD seems to bring out some quite old fashioned patterns.

Am atypically interested in someone.

48howdidthathappen · 04/05/2013 02:07

I am pissed. Life is good Smile

DaydreamDolly · 04/05/2013 06:26

Seize away stranger, why not?

How's your head 48?!

WarmFuzzyFun · 04/05/2013 07:00

Morning Thread 52! I imagine this weekend will be a busy one re:dating activity so this thread may fill up fairly soon!

I am keeping up with everything on the Thread, and am waiting for Jules' next report, vicarious living Smile

Big cheer for wonder woman Lubey

48 hope things are getting better re:your mum.

Kin forwards ever, backwards never! Who is on your dating radar?

Bant has the Buffy thing ended yet? Or are you still throttling her? (sorry bad joke)

Hey DreamDolly and Toni

Be good, be brave, and get out there and get dating! (Roar!!!!)

KirstyWirsty · 04/05/2013 08:03

I got my first cock shot on POF .. Took me a minute to realise what it was .. It was soooo purple .. Boy that guy had a tight grip!!! Hmm

Bant · 04/05/2013 08:13

morning all

WFF - I should point out there was never any throttling, only requests for it.. and it's not 'ended' with Buffy - it was only FWB so not a relationship to end. I just can't be arsed to call her again after the way she was acting last week.

Onwards and upwards

KirstyWirsty · 04/05/2013 08:17

What happened with merlot bant??

KinNora · 04/05/2013 08:27

Happy Cock Shot Day Kirsty !

Yes indeedy Bant, onwards and upwards is exactly the kind of attitude I need to adopt.

Hello Twinny.

Bant · 04/05/2013 08:33

Merlot was a 'meh' Kirsty - various reasons - I posted yesterday afternoon about it shortly after the date.

KirstyWirsty · 04/05/2013 08:56

All I saw was 'no' bant must have missed the other post

Scattylatte · 04/05/2013 09:25

Morning all
bant that clip was hilarious.
velvet I can't stop at 3 chocci rice crackers. I eat the whole packet.
kin it's horrible to get an ex text. proper heart beating too fast stuff. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm back at work full time now and waiting to be cleared for a new job. The depression has pretty much lifted with the odd off day if I've not slept well. Still getting the support from tablets and counselling and taking it one day at a time. Generally I'm feeling good with some insecurity and confidence problems but no actual depression and that, to me is great.

Fireman and I are still going. There is no looking to the future yet (as in what we will do in the future). We take it a week or 2 weeks at a time and see each other 2 days on average a week which is cool as there is a 1.5 hour drive distance and he works shifts. Sometimes I get wobbly in that I think he will have a ONS (his previous pattern before me was to have them, and he was in various NSA websites). I worry that he likes the excitement and will become bored of me, get drunk when out with his mates and have one. He has told me he is not willing to risk anything we have for one and since meeting me he has become very different - before me he was very closed and 'not bothered'. I do trust him but it does niggle me at times. Financially he is also determined to get himself sorted and has started to become a lot more frugal. So all in all everything is well.

KinNora · 04/05/2013 09:37

It's lovely to hear that things are going well for you Scatty, you do sound in a much better place than you were, it does take a little while to lose the minor niggly things.

Sounds like the fireman is getting his act together, although I know it is terribly hard to completely trust someone again.

Toni2710 · 04/05/2013 09:48

Morning.

I have a question. How many people is it reasonable to date at the same time (I'm talking first dates), or should you stick to arranging one at a time and see how it goes before you arrange the next?

KinNora · 04/05/2013 09:59

I think there are no real rules, Toni because they're not really even 'dates' as such usually, it's just meeting someone to see if you like them enough to take it further. The good thing about having a few lined up is that it helps prevent over-investing and the bad thing is it can get a bit dessert trolley-esque and you forget what you've said to whom

Secretservice · 04/05/2013 10:08

I thought long and hard about posting on here today, but would really appreciate your help. I am well aware I will probably sound a needy mess, but I genuinely would like know where I'm going wrong, as far you can tell, on the other side of the ether!

Here's the pattern in the past week: I text two best, 20-year plus, friends three days ago - no response
I email usual drinking partners at work, to meet up - no response
I message 10-plus OD men - no response
I post on here - no response

Rationally, I think I understand that this

Secretservice · 04/05/2013 10:14

Morning all!
Warning - this is going to be pity me-tastic. Apologies in advance

I thought long and hard about posting on here today, but would really appreciate your help. I am well aware I will probably sound a needy mess, but I genuinely would like know where I'm going wrong, as far you can tell, on the other side of the ether!

Here's the pattern in the past week: I text two best, 20-year plus, friends three days ago - no response
I email usual drinking partners at work, to meet up - no response
I message 10-plus OD men - no response
I post on here - no response

Rationally, I think I understand that this is probably all coincidence, but emotionally I can't help feeling that it's me. Not only am I undateable, but actually unlikeable.

mercury7 · 04/05/2013 10:15

hello thread:)

Bant (and any other men who might be reading) I wonder if you would help me with a mans perspective?

Say you're fwb with a woman and she says she has feelings for you, would your instinctive reaction be to back off and end it?

To set the scene a bit the arrangement is about 2 years old, everything is fine, both appear to be very happy with the 'benefits' but things are very infrequent because he works away alot.

Secretservice · 04/05/2013 10:16

Oh for fucks sake! Of all posts to screw up. Sorry. I really not the attention seeking arse I now appear to be. Blush

ALittleStranger · 04/05/2013 10:17

Secretservice, we only have context for the posts here, but it's easy to miss people's posts on such an active thread.

I don't think not hearing back from OD men is that unusual. Better to be rejected off the basis of pretty much nothing than after meeting and it being more personal.

mercury7 · 04/05/2013 10:18

SS, this thread moves quickly and a lack of response to a post you make means nothing, I'm frequently ignored :o and I dont think anything of it!

Pomegranatenoir · 04/05/2013 10:18

secret we have all been there. Unfortunately there is no rhyme or reason to it and before you know it you will be inundated with texts, replies from od men and replies on here. You are not needy, you are normal and having a bad day. It will pass and the sun will shine again. Keep trudging through that treacle lovely.

ALittleStranger · 04/05/2013 10:18

Mercury I have only attempted one FWB situation and he ended it because he was pretty sure correctly that I had feelings for him. Some do like it simple, but others are careless with people's emotions.

KinNora · 04/05/2013 10:19

Secret - firstly getting no response on here - this has happened to everyone , it's never intentional, the thread moves fast, people skim read or only manage to read a couple of posts. It can make you feel a bit Confused especially if you're having a bad day.

The other things will just be people having busy lives, being preoccupied or having their own rubbish time, sometimes being fed up can make you see patterns that don't actually exist. Chin up chuck Flowers

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