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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dating thread no 52

999 replies

BillMasen · 26/04/2013 15:11

The first one started by a bloke?

OP posts:

Report

MirandaWest · 26/04/2013 21:49

Risotto was Good :)

Bant · 26/04/2013 22:12

Hi trying (it's really difficult trying to shorten your name)

the first 24 hours means pretty much nothing. It takes time to learn the red flags, how to shrug off the vanishers, and the weirdos. And OKC seems to be especially bad for long-distance messagers because of the Match scoring ('hi, you're perfect for me. Want to move to Poland?') Don't expect too much too soon and just have fun with it. If it's not fun, as they say...

I thought Buffy may have been nervous to begin with, but she was just quiet the whole evening. I don't know if she's normally like that with her friends, she's not like it with me, and her friends were all loud and boisterous so it didn't seem like it. And when I left to head back to mine I heard them say 'he's really nice, fun guy' to her, which made me feel quite pleased.

meh. She's leaving soon. No point trying to understand her really. I'm just not completely sure I really want to see her again after she was so off.

Miranda - so is Risotto the new codeword for Coffee?

HeyBeenTryingToMeetYou · 26/04/2013 22:45

Bant I can't read my name without hearing the song in my head, which is a bonus really. Am going to have to youtube it now. Yes, will keep my eye on the fun (or not), and I guess the same with you and Buffy. At least you've met some new women, which I'm guessing is again, a bonus .

Glad you had a good, erm, supper Miranda. Is it wrong to admit that lovely Mr R&R and of course nameless are the main reason I finally joined the world of OD

HeyBeenTryingToMeetYou · 26/04/2013 22:48

Oops, I meant Mr Nice too of course, newbie fail

mercury7 · 26/04/2013 23:07

24 hours in is very early days I agree!
it has taken me about 6 years to reach my current level of ineptitudeskill with online dating :o

HeyBeenTryingToMeetYou · 26/04/2013 23:22

Do you think I'm being a bit impatient mercury ? Any tips would be gratefully received.

Winefiend · 27/04/2013 00:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winefiend · 27/04/2013 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mercury7 · 27/04/2013 00:48

not really Trying :)
not sure I'm in a position to advise in as much as I'm not sure my 'methods' would work for anyone else
infact I'm not really sure what my 'methods' are

KirstyWirsty · 27/04/2013 08:45

wine so...? Tell all!

Morning everyone

KinNora · 27/04/2013 09:01

Yes do, Wine we need to know ... ( CC is charging)

Kirsty are you still excited about tomorrow and the ceremonial unveiling of Kilty ?

Good morning everybody

VelvetSpoon · 27/04/2013 09:04

Morning all!

Had a fab evening with C, who has just left. Am, as ever, v :)

KirstyWirsty · 27/04/2013 09:18

velvet I am very happy for you

nora yes I cannot wait .. I've told him this .. He likes my enthusiasm :)

Btw you asked where I found him- POF .. Just hope he is not going to pull a disappearing act after tomorrow .. No indications from him on this he has been talking about learning about likes through trial and error and improving .. Just my last experience from POF (TheAuditor )

Bant · 27/04/2013 09:23

Morning everyone.

Any positive news from C, Velvet? Glad you had a good time but, you know, we want you to know where things are going :)

I'm supposed to go to a charity quiz thing this evening, with some of Buffy's friends but not Buffy (as she'll be raving in a field somewhere)

Should be a fun evening assuming I reject the flirty ones advances. Or, let's face it, a different kind of fun evening if I don't

KinNora · 27/04/2013 09:32

Big Velvet

I bet he does Kirsty and will like it a whole lot more tomorrow. I find the disappearing act ones are quite hard to predict.

Bant it will be fun if you don't regret the flirty one's advances but I can't help feeling ol' Buff will go apeshit ...

KinNora · 27/04/2013 09:33

Bollocks - not 'regret' (although possibly that too) but 'reject' .

Bant · 27/04/2013 09:40

I think I can control myself :)

VelvetSpoon · 27/04/2013 09:41

Kirsty hope tomorrow goes well with Kilty, am sure it will :)

Bant things are with C as they are really, no change, I'm not his girlfriend yet but that's fine with me (for now anyway)

I won't be seeing him for a couple of weeks at least because he is off on hols, but he has promised to bring me back a present. And this morning he fixed a light for me - which I had half done, and was quite able to do myself, but he said he wanted to do something for me....so that made me

OhWesternWind · 27/04/2013 09:56

Excellent stuff Wine and Velvet

How are you feeling about Buffy at the moment, Bant? Maybe she's withdrawing a bit as things are coming towards a close. Have a good time tonight, whatever.

Hey I never had any luck with okc at all - loads of people from abroad or down south, same thing really. Never even got a decent conversation going apart from once with a friendly Buddhist guy. I would honestly recommend PoF - have never had any problems with it at all and have by and large found the men off there to be normal and decent, with the glaring exception of the oddball Italian. You just have to be very selective!

Wishing you all a good morning and a good weekend.

JulietteMontague · 27/04/2013 10:25

Winefield spill

Hey it is very early days, for some reason the number of prospects seems to vary wildly week to week. It also varies from person to person depending on what you are looking for. Give it time. I you go on POF you'll get a lot more messages but have to sift through all the 'Hi Gawjus' men and potato heads.

Bant whatever happens, it should be an interesting night

Velvet really happy you had a lovely time with C and that he is going to spend all his holiday searching for the perfect present for you.

I have the hangover from hell, birthday party last night where I tried very hard not to paw the boy man I've fancied like mad for a year. I didn't realise I'd had so much until I did my own version of the stagger walk of shame home past the local late night shops

Bant · 27/04/2013 10:45

OWW - I dunno how I feel to be honest. One on one, things were fine, but then she was in a prickly mood the other night when she came here, having not seen her for a week.Then in front of her friends she was pretty much silent. I got the strong impression she was just using me for sex.

I don't have many objections to that, the sex was fine, but as I'm looking for more than just FWB with someone really, and I haven't done FWB before, my way of acting with someone in the early stages of a relationship, dating, whatever, is kind of the usual - get to know each other a bit more each time, talk about childhood memories, funny things that happened, bad things etc - gradually exposing more and more of your soul. You know.

Buffy doesn't really want to do that, it seems. She's put a lid on how much she will expose and it stops there. At some point, she will stop talking and start taking her/my clothes off.

She's got a history of running away from serious relationships. She left the US because someone asked her to marry him. She moved cities in the US before that when someone else did. She's never been in love, and she's early 30s.
I can accept it for what it is for the next couple of weeks, fine. But if she wasn't leaving I'd be pushing for more or calling it quits if I didn't get it.

As far as I see it, she sees me as someone who makes her laugh, makes her come and makes her breakfast. It's not a bad way to spend the next couple of weeks but...

KinNora · 27/04/2013 10:48

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Flipper924 · 27/04/2013 10:59

Right, updated my profile on pof with suggestions, thanks again. Hopefully it will mean messages other than

how old your pictures are?

Which is what I got this morning. Really? That's his opening gambit? Humph.

When you find him, Nora, will you ask if he has a brother for me, please?

Wine, I think we need to know more...

Velvet, .

WarmFuzzyFun · 27/04/2013 11:13

And ask for a twin for your twin Kin please, as long as he does a bit of hoovering, can mend things round the house and take out the rubbish/recycling and is absolutely besotted with me...

Bant · 27/04/2013 11:21

Flipper. Were you being chatted up by Yoda?

I'd respond with 'How bad your English is?'

Flip

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