The train has departed Loserville - Next stop Happy Town.

[LoserNoMore]

Just went to post on my other thread but it's full already!

I'll attempt to link it but I'm on my phone so probably won't work.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1726699-Last-train-to-Loserville-Part-2

Excuse the cheesy title, my brain won't work. Just going to read last few replies on old thread.

Bloody hell, one day is enough for me. That's horrible, hope it clears up soon.

Chemist was rather amazed how i havent managed to kill people due to the constant itching and burning, my saintly patience must pay off.

amazed at saintly patience - you ladies are an inspiration one way or another!!!:)

Great email LNM well done! I wonder if he will (dare) reply.

What do you do for cystitis, is it to the docs for you?

Sympathy to Loulybelle!

Is it cranberry juice for cystitus?

Yeah, or cranberry tablets, cranberry juice is proper rank.

Usually if cystitis doesn't clear up in 2 days I'll get antibiotics. I have a Boots powder thing I keep for emergencies do I've taken that. Scared to pee, it buuuuuurns!

Quick tip, cold water wash after peeing, seems to help the burning.

Yes cranberry juice and loads of water for cystitis, and Loulybelle have you tried taking prebiotics and probiotics? Thrush is made worse by antibiotics,you need to get your friendly flora back in balance , if the docs can't help get yourself to a nutritionalist!

Sorry for hijack!

LNM sorry you have to wait so long for your results, but well done again on the email, you are so amazing, we really are all in awe and wishing you well

Flo, i have daktacort cream, its like a godsend after 4 months of misery. Gotta see a vulva specialist for the tears.

Great email! Polite & detached, probably hit home a lot more than a big sweary rant as that would imply emotion. You're spot on in not letting him see how hurt you are. Great way to make someone feel properly ashamed of themself is to call attention to their inadequacies & demonstrate that you are much more in control & mature than them.

Try cranberry juice, or if you don't like or can't afford it, a tsp of bicarbonate of soda in a glass of water. Tastes vile! But reduces the acid level (I think) so it doesn't hurt as much. Apparently this is what's in most pharmacy remedies. (Disclaimer - don't try it if you have a heart problem as can temporarily make it worse.)

Great email.

Hope you get well soon. Lots of water. Pinch of bicarb in the water helps too. Not too much or it'll make you feel sick.

Your 'd'h is still a cunt.

Oh Louly you poor thing it sounds horrible. I second the use of bicarbonate, and reduce the amount of sugar (especially things like orange juice and acidic foods & drinks) in your diet, it will help.

LNM how are you this evening? Hope you're OK.

great email, - annoyed mum, but not pissed off wife. Well done!

No point drinking cranberry juice during an attack of cystitis - it can actually make it worse, because it is so acidic. Drinking it can stave off attacks before or if you suffer regularly, but not during. Sorry.

Lots of still water will help flush it out, but if no better Dr for you LNM. Also, a warm flannel; not hot! when you pee helps ease the burning.

Thrush for 4 months, jeez - you do have saintly patience.

I'm alright Flo, I guess, thanks. This time of night is the worst for feeling alone. Once the girls are in bed there's too much time to think.

I've just been drinking lots of water, any other fluid makes it worse.

Very well worded email LNM. You were right not to unleash the inner butch an retain your dignity. Well done xx

Inner butch! thanks areyoumad.

Heard a good quote once on the subject of revenge,

" Only try and get even with those who have helped you "

Sleep well, all you mums heading up the households...you are not alone!

Goodnight LNM xx

Going back to why other women get involved with married/partnered men. A few years ago it became apparent that a friend of mine was interested in dh. I won't go into details but things hit the fan big time. Another friend suggested that she saw a good dad and husband and realised that was what was missing from her life, so she picked mine. She works in ds2's class. We used to work together. I'm polite to her but I can't excuse what she did or the manipulation of my friendship with her to get at him.

I can understand that a bit, Lazarus. Doesn't make it right all the same. Its strange though, that good dad and husband can turn into a lying cheating rat bag in the blink of an eye eh.

Goodnight lowercase, I like that quote.

That makes sense in my case too Lazarusb. distant parents single mum, my DH had kids grandkids loads of brothers and sisters and he openly expected to just replace me with her in our family. It hasn't happened but what you said makes a lot of sense. NOT AN EXCUSE!!!:)

Oops meant inner bitch not butch

What I want to achieve is boundaries not bitterness. So ex cannot upset me one way or another. I think I have that mostly. Occasionally I have an internal rant about the fairness of me being sole breadwinner and him absolving himself of parental responsibility but mostly I just focus on my life being good.

I think it's very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you must make things right. So you must adapt if he has work, you must worry about his relatives relationship with the children, etc

Boundaries are about recognising it's his life, his relationships and only if you benefit, should you do anything. He won't be looking out for you. It's quite liberating only bing responsible for yourself and DC.

With boundaries, the bitterness recedes. Bitterness isn't a good emotion so that's a good thing.

agree - bitterness does awful things to people and literally only hurts the one being bitter and those who have to live with them rather than the object of it itms. plus it makes you go all thin lipped and wrinkly

good email lnm. let's hope he can step back from his ego enough to see what he's doing to the girls and step up as a father.

wasn't suggesting sympathy for ow btw. i just wouldn't waste energy bitterly thinking about her and slagging her off. i think what gets directed at the other woman men are let off the hook for iyswim. channeling it at her when it belongs with him always strikes me as a way of still needing 'him' to be innocent somehow or less culpable - as in a way of avoiding facing up to the full reality of who he is and what he's done and is capable of. so a bit of a psychological defense against reality because the reality is so hurtful. better to just face it imo.

Thin lipped and wrinkly