The train has departed Loserville - Next stop Happy Town.

[LoserNoMore]

Just went to post on my other thread but it's full already!

I'll attempt to link it but I'm on my phone so probably won't work.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1726699-Last-train-to-Loserville-Part-2

Excuse the cheesy title, my brain won't work. Just going to read last few replies on old thread.

no, just dont do it. It blurs boundaries with him again. You are not being awkward at all, you are doing whats best for you and the kids. You will have enough on your plate with a bunch of kids around without worrying about him hanging around and not leaving immediately after.

Tell him no, he can organise to do something with DD on Sunday. Leave it at that. Dont apologise, dont explain, just say it how you want it.

Im sorry you didnt get the job.

Hope DD has a lovely birthday tomorrow, Im sure she will, lots of friends coming over. Do you have games ;planned? Music?

I think it depends how important you think it is for dd whether he comes or not. If she's ok with having a separate celebration with him, fine, he doesn't come. But if she really wants him to be there... I dunno LNM, go with what your instincts tell you is right. He may not deserve etc, but dd's wishes are also a factor.

Absolutely not.

He takes advantage every single time. This birthday party is not about her, he sees an opportunity to get to you again.

Having him there would be the last thing you need. Are there any other adults who would come round to help?

I'm not sure dd is overly fussed about him being there. She will be pretty busy with her friends. If I hadn't bumped into him he wouldn't even know. I think things are still a bit raw to let him be here. Maybe next year or in the future it can be comfortable for us both to attend parties for the girls but not this year.

A couple of the mums are staying to help out at the party, just the usual, pass the parcel, musical bumps etc. should be fun!

Sounds great. And sounds like you definitely don't want him there. So don't do it. Stay strong - it's the right thing to do for everyone.

Somewhere neutral is much easier too - it's different in your home. I would be really uncomfortable to have my ex in my home now - I just don't think I could cope with it!!

Parties are about their friends ...not parents. Tell him to have his own.

So sorry about the job LNM

I'm in bed waiting on the washing machine so I have a clean outfit for tomorrow. Housework and laundry fairy has failed this week. Left house at 7:30. Back in at 8:30.

No one else here. Dog with brother, DC with friend. I've put the crooks to bed and nearly decapitated one. They will sleep in the nest box if not stopped (not hygienic for eggs) so I block it off with a football.....too late tonight so I found them in there. Pushed them through into their perch area and in disgust they exited the coop altogether. Caught one and stuffed it back in the perch. Caught last and stuffed it back in but the automatic door closer was coming down...like a guillotine.

Ha cabbage that made me laugh, sorry if that wasn't your aim a day in the life of a chook keeper, fun and games. That's a long day, I though I was bad. Are you working tomorrow too?

I've spoke to ex and told him no, I'll see how that goes down...like a lead balloon no doubt.

Tough. He doesn't get to make these demands. I couldn't face having ex at ds's first birthday after we split. Ex didn't like it but there's no way I could have coped with the tension.

Hope you have a fun day. Don't worry about the job, there's other opportunities out there for you.

Tomorrow I start at 7:30 and might be home by 9pm Last day of a once yearly big event for us.

Sunday I may go in to get ahead of the week.... Only because Friday I'm on leave for a week and want to feel sorted so that I can relax. I may of course just sleep for my weeks leave!!!

DD with her dad and it's the best opportunity for me to work. I am worried about missing out on child free work opportunity and then having a mega stressy week and not feeling on top of stuff before I go away which means I won't properly relax.

Decapitated chook would have sorted Sunday roast I guess (since I haven't had time to shop either!)

Sounds like you're in need of that weeks leave, Cabbage.

I think you're right Lazarus. Not a good idea for him to come here, full stop. Probably wouldn't get rid of him.

Hi LNM, have been following for a while.

Sorry you didn't get the job. Do try not to bend over backwards for current workplace, please!

Also, just a quick thought that presumably he knew it was her birthday coming up (after all, it IS the same every year!) and could have asked something about it before now if he was really bothered about coming to a celebration?

Have a good night's sleep and good luck with the party.

Sorry about job, LNM, but I agree with ^ above. Don't give everything to your current job - no matter how hard you try to keep up, it sounds like the type of job that is endless and thankless, so please, pace yourself and tell (in your head) that useless Manager of yours to bollox off.

Been hectic at school so sorry about my absence. When I say that I don't have time to fart, I really do mean that. Place is mental!

Agreed re your ex - your DD won't even notice that he's not there, and him being there will be awkward. Make sure he coughs up some cash for the party though LNM.

Apologies about my mini rant about your ex SIL too - that wound me up no end and I just spilled it onto your thread. Cathartic yes, but I should have thought of you before letting my fingers lose on the keyboard

Don't be sporty LittleEsme. I agreed with it. I did mean to say that a few posts ago actually. Time to fart? Time to breath more like! I've never been so glad to see the weekend. The job I'm in gets busier and busier every week, right through until September :( can't wait.

Thanks building he's just trying to worm his way in I think.

Sorry, not sporty ha! Freudian slip.

DD wanted XH at her party which was held in a hall, joint party with another girl. He came for the last hour and stood in the corner like a twat. I ignored him but held it together until he left then i cried. It was the first time in a room with him since mediation last August.

It was awful and that was in a big hall surrounded by my friends and family. Don't put yourself through it if you don't want to. He can see DD the next day. She will be too busy with her friends any way.

Sorry you didn't get the job.

I know I keep harping on in the same way but the future will look so different. Don't feel stressed by trying to recover or be 'normal' just yet. A marital betrayal and breakdown is devastating. No exaggeration there. It is devastating. Trying to pretend it isn't, or make life normal, is impossible. The grief leaches out of you slowly. Accept it as a fucking awful time in your life and survive.

A few years down the line you may be ready to have him at her party and he might be able to behave. I suspect know neither is true this year

Work is a survival situation as well. You don't have to be 'the reliable one' or 'the hard working one'. It's not healthy I have some staff I feel strong loyalty to because they have for me been reliable and hard working....however in your situation I would be bending over backwards to return that by cutting them huge slack and expecting far less than the minimum until they had bounced back. The fact you're not getting that, is an issue...it's either unappreciative management or a personal hang up with you about showing any weakness (or maybe a bit of both)

Please nurture yourself :)

arf at sporty
Couldn't be more true at the mo

morning all.

LNM - enjoy today with the girls and party. Take lots of pics and dont think of ex for a second. Like others have said, he has had plenty of time to sort out little ones bday celebration. He's just a chancer.

Thanks for the good advice cabbage. Wise woman, there are a lot of wise people in here. Thanks to everyone.

Looking forward to today, lots of fun and games. Dd3 is bouncing of the walls with excitement!

hope the party went well. You will either have happy, exhausted girls or happy, hyper girls!

I do hope twunt kept his distance.

I have just finished for the day. Red wine, chilli & apricot cheese and crackers after a quick shower and bed... I'm exhausted and my feet are killing me. I think I've worked 36 hours in the last 3 days plus 22.5 hours Mon-Wed.

However on the bright side.... I haven't just hosted a children's birthday party How was it?

Just drunk.. A bit drunk,sad listening to sad Sinds . Fed yp

Made som decisions. Outta here for good

Thank you all so much. Beautiful people. LittleEsme , Cabbage, Fairenuff , Lazarus. Flo, thisistheonlyone

Hello? LNM I hope you're ok?