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Original poster

Unwanted pregnancy,and DH will not talk to me.

171 replies

ohdearhelp · 19/04/2013 21:18

I have name changed for this. I also don't think this is the right place but I need help and there is a lot of traffic here.
I have been with my DH for 10 years married for 8 and we have 4 lovely DCs.
I had our youngest 2 years ago and it nearly killed me. I was told after I had him that I could not have any more children. This was fine because we already have 4 and we both know how luck we are to have them.

Anyway I have been ill on and off for about 3 months and I had just put it down to a sickness bug. However DH was worried so I went to my local GP, 2 days ago and it turns out I am pregnant (about 16 weeks gone)with twins. They are small for their age but they are alive and the doctor believes that they are growing.

I am terrified and I had to wait until Dh came home to tell him. He is very upset and when I had finished telling him he got up and left and he is refusing to talk about it at all. I have asked him if he would just sit and talk to me. He said no. I told him that I am scared and that I need hi to talk to me. He said that this was all my fault and he didn't want to talk about it. He left the house and didn't return until late.
Today he has only spoken the bare minimum to me and once the DCs were in bed he just went upstairs.

I have a specialist appointment tomorrow which I have told him about, but he just ignored me.
I have no idea what to do. I need to talk to him about this because they are his babies to. I am so scared and I don't know how to get him to listen to me.
Any help?

OP posts:
FuckThisShit · 19/04/2013 23:18

I thought I'd give the wine a miss this evening. BIG mistake.

hhhhhhh · 19/04/2013 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 19/04/2013 23:22

Did someone say wine?! I have none! Give here. :)

ThatVikRinA22 · 19/04/2013 23:23

i feel so sorry for the OP if this is real. imagine how you would feel reading this shit. its cruel.

the op didnt say they were in the UK.

PacificDogwood · 19/04/2013 23:25

I have to say, I had nothing but v good and timely pregnancy/pregnancy loss care in the UK.

Anybody in the OP's position deserves support whether or not the OP is genuine.

FuckThisShit · 19/04/2013 23:26

Expat lovely lady, if I was 500 miles north, I would gladly share with you. Shall I drink yours as a favour?

SanityClause · 19/04/2013 23:28

I fell pregnant on the Mirena. We decided to see a consultant privately, and got an appointment within a couple of days.

BallerinaZeena · 19/04/2013 23:32

Goes to gp. Gets referred to hospital for a scan. That can all happen in two days. One, in fact. Private clinics are sometimes open on Saturdays.

OP - come back if you need to chat.

AmberLeaf · 19/04/2013 23:34

Forget the GP/specialist appt.

What she was told re not having anymore children again and particularly the bit about 'if the eggs were good enough' after 4 children there is suddenly a problem with eggs?!

Ok.

expatinscotland · 19/04/2013 23:36

Don't you dare drink my wine! I'll be there in the morning.

Lueji · 19/04/2013 23:37

About GPs and ultrasounds: www.gponline.com/Education/article/876835/using-ultrasound-primary-care/

Sigh.

FuckThisShit · 19/04/2013 23:38

Grin. I'll get MrsD over and we can all share!

ThatVikRinA22 · 19/04/2013 23:42

amber
what if the mother is older? or has had other issues with fertility?
what if she is deeply embarrassed at not using contraception and gambling with something so important as her health that she is not telling the whole story?
what if she is not in the uk
what if she paid privately?

it doesnt make it false. this could be someone in need of advice and help. i dont see how pouring cold water on the OP and making it patently obvious that people think its not true is helping anyone.

the OP perhaps didnt give full details.
i just know i would be devastated to read what has been put if i were in this position.
i cant see why people post answers if they believe a post is not true?

FuckThisShit · 19/04/2013 23:42

Lueji that article suggests that this is what will be happening in the future and that he is the only GP currently. Of course this doesn't include private GPs who I'm sure will every machine going..

hhhhhhh · 19/04/2013 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 19/04/2013 23:48

I want wine!

AmberLeaf · 19/04/2013 23:51

vicar, if all of or any of your 'what ifs' are the case here, then they would be vital bits of info that had been missed out and no one should be surprised at people being suspicious of the facts as presented here.

ThatVikRinA22 · 19/04/2013 23:56

really? you would be routinely suspicious of a woman posting in relationships stating she has a surprise pg and her dh is not taking it well? because she didnt give publicly all the juicy details?

HQ says the thread isnt being deleted - they normally delete threads that are not what they appear to be do they not?

clearly this is why i struggle at work. i tend to take things at face value until i know otherwise. ive been a response cop for 2 1/2 years and am still not as much of a cynic as the supportive posters on this thread.

if im wrong im wrong. so what.
if this is genuine then its brutal and unfair.

am giving up now and going to bed.

Lueji · 19/04/2013 23:57

FTS, that was in 2007.

FuckThisShit · 19/04/2013 23:59

Oops! Sorry.....

expatinscotland · 19/04/2013 23:59

I want wine.

FuckThisShit · 20/04/2013 00:01

Get yo ass down here then Grin

hhhhhhh · 20/04/2013 00:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberLeaf · 20/04/2013 00:06

really? you would be routinely suspicious of a woman posting in relationships stating she has a surprise pg and her dh is not taking it well? because she didnt give publicly all the juicy details?

No not at all, but it is the credulity of the details given here that make me suspicious.

HQ says the thread isnt being deleted - they normally delete threads that are not what they appear to be do they not?

No they don't, I think there are many threads that MNHQ are 'keeping and eye on'

I tend to take people very much at face value too, in rl anyway.

If this is genuine, then yes it is unfair. I agree with that, just I don't think it is.

I'm more fussed at having upset you than the OP tbh.

CautionaryWhale · 20/04/2013 00:11

Hello there OP

it takes two to trouser tango

i wish you well

fwiw none of my three were planned...i got my DH to do the pregnancy test for DC3 due in a few weeks time - i weed in a beaker and gave him the stick to do bless

he was dazed but got it together quicker than me

hopefully you will get more support and advice as the news sinks in

take care xx

i am not in the uk and my gynae has the most advanced equipment - 4d ulrasound machines, dildo cam (!) etc - so yes, could very well diagnose twins and size at 16 weeks. Just sayin'