I slapped DP while drunk.

[Qwerty69]

I'm horribly ashamed. It's a terrible thing to do and nobody deserved that, certainly not him.

I took the decision to end the relationship at that point - as I believe he can do better than that.

I don't drink very often, certainly not an alcoholic. I'm a laid-back pacifist most of the time, as is he.

He is heart broken that I ended it, I'm missing him like crazy. I can't sleep.

Did I do the right thing or am I just being a martyr? Help!

Yes poppy let's not get hung up on black&white facts,or owt inconvenient
Like fact op hit her partner

Which you then use to compare her to perpetrators of consistent domestic abuse/murderers.

I'm done with this thread and I hope OP is too. Goodnight.

Poppy no doubt you'll consult menzarecunts.com,wimminaregoddesses.com to substantiate your points

ACTUAL domestic violence?! what, as opposed to 'just a slap' a 'one off'?

Get real and listen to your self!

BTW my Dads friend wasn't killed, he survived thankfully.

What the OP did was DV.

Hear hear poppy.
Am also walking away from this thread. Stunned by some posters and bizarre inane comparisons. What relevance a stabbing has to do with the OP, christ knows.
Good luck OP. Never hit your man again! Hope its lesson learned and move on.

Bizarre. I'm off too.

What relevance a stabbing has to do with the OP?

Is it that hard to work out?

It all starts somewhere.

But yes bye bye DV apologists.

I think it's probably the best thing that you've all left the thread. There are loads of links about domestic violence on MN (sorry can't link on phone) if any of you wanted to gain knowledge and insight into the nature of DV. None of us can anticipate a situation where a friend or family member needs help when violence occurs in a domestic setting either as a perpetrator or a victim.

One last reply - no scottish, I'm not on 'menzarecunts.com' because I'm not a man hater. Like I said, if OP was a man I would be one of the ones on here examining the context rather than jumping on the 'domestic violence leave the bastard wagon'. YOU would probably be on that wagon though.

Wow. The context of why men hit. Please remind me to be busy this day. I agree op is right to leave her dh. Good luck to him in the future.

So on here when I categorically stated all violence is wrong, period, that makes me a DV apologist? I think it is incredibly patronising and ignorant to even mention a stabbing in this thread. You best lock away all your knives OP, as you've now slapped your partner (WRONGLY) once, you're probably going to start abusing him regularly and maybe stab him and who knows who else. (That was sarcasm, for you lot of the black and white opinions)
Life is full of grey areas. It undermines the experiences of those who have undergone sustained domestic violence to even compare the OP's situation to that.
I sure am glad people like you aren't chiefs of police as there wouldn't be a soul left on the streets.
Yes, bye bye ignorant, tiny minds. This type of thread would put me off ever posting for advice on here as your views are laughable and you have not even bothered to read other peoples posts properly, as to do so would mean they don't fit in with your agenda.

Poppys, as long as you tell your DD that if she gets hit once its ok, its isolated etc etc then fine.

I don't even need to point out the hypocrisy, its as obvious as a cock in a barrel full of tits.

Shame on those minimising DV.

and as a previous victim of DV it does all start somewhere, usually with a one off isolated little slap that we can all have a right old wheeze over

Not.

OP - you are absolutely right to leave, get yourself straight and your demons sorted out and then you and your DH can have a life together again.

'There is a world of difference between someone in a sustained abusive situation and the OP stupidly slapping her partner when very drunk and being completely remorseful about it.'

You would think so, wouldn't you. However, if the OP was a man, the likelihood of the above comment being posted would be about zero.

My personal view, in this situation, would be to learn from it and put it behind you, but...

If we continue to minimise the fact that women can and do hit their partners, then society will continue to believe that that men are rarely the victims of DV (when, as was pointed out, it's a 40/60 split), and help for men who desperately need it will be ridiculously thin on the ground (15 shelters for men, 4000 for women), and men will continue to bottle up their emotions (3x more men commit suicide than women).

*will continue to be

FTR I was also a victim of domestic violence, partner rape, the works, when I was in a relationship with my DD's father.

We left him and moved to a different county where one of my family members live. We are still here.

Shame on those comparing what happened here with OP to DV.

poppylemons - not to diminish your experience in any way, here's a quote from Women's Aid website...

'The Government defines domestic violence as "Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.'

So, according to the government, OP's partner experienced DV.

It's important to remember that where domestic violence is concerned, there are clear differences between the genders. Men are significantly more likely to use violence against women, and the violence used by males against female partners is much more severe than vice versa.

From this study: Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviour over time, and the research reflects this by building a longitudinal picture (tracking cases over six years) rather than focusing merely on a snapshot or a single incident of domestic violence.

This is demonstrated by the statistic that 2 women per week are killed by their partner/ex partner.

Counting Dead Women

A blanket "women do dv just as much as men" is not really accurate or helpful.

I have seen so many threads on here where a man has done far less than OP did, and 99% of comments were 'leave the bastard', 'call the police' and 'he'll do it again.'

I honestly think some of you are man-hating feminists with unbelievable double standards. :(

Next time DP gets a bit annoying I'll just give him a bit of a playful chinning, just once, considering its alright an all that......

A blanket "women do dv just as much as men" is not really accurate or helpful

I don't think anyone is suggesting that.

But, implying it doesn't matter if it does happen is wrong.

'It's important to remember that where domestic violence is concerned, there are clear differences between the genders. Men are significantly more likely to use violence against women, and the violence used by males against female partners is much more severe than vice versa.'

Aaaand here we go. The OP hits her bloke and the thread ends up with a feminist pointing out how women have it so much worse. Which isn't true. Men are not 'significantly more likely' to use violence.

Non Biased DV Report

As opposed to a biased report written by a feminist and a biased feminist blogger.

*Men are not 'significantly more likely' to use violence against women

I am anything but a feminist or a man hater, I get sick of the 'LTB' threads on here too, but it seems the same sort of camp that jump on the bandwagon shouting 'leave him, bastard!' in those threads are the types on here shouting 'you were right to leave! bitch!'
I am not denying that women make up 40% of perpetrators of domestic violence.
I did not say it was 'okay' for OP to have slapped her boyfriend, hilarious that you all jump to the conclusion I'm a man hating feminist because I think the context makes it an isolated misdemeanour that she should not leave him because of.
I advised her not to drink again, and if it happened again then to do something about it.

Stop warping and twisting and exaggerating.