Last train to Loserville Part 2

[LoserNoMore]

After the overwhelming support I've received on my thread I had to start another. Well I didn't have to but I have found all the advice so helpful that even if I only receive one more piece it will help.

I'll try and post the link to the full sorry story. Never linked on my phone before so it may not work.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1722750-This-doesnt-look-good-does-it?pg=40&order=

Hi LNM, I lurked throughout your previous thread. Just wanted to say that you've been bloody amazing throughout this last few days. Your DDs are lucky to have you as their Mum. Hope you start to feel a bit better soon

I haven't got the speed or coordination for skipping but will chant skipping songs for you all ok.

Focus on your lovely DC and keep focusing on them. The rest of life can't intrude so much so you've partially anaesthetised and minimised it. Every bit of contact will upset in different ways whereas you and the DC will have positive experiences

Hope work goes well today

Surely the best song to send him back would be CeeLo Greens - Fuck You!

You sound like you are doing well. I've been there and it hurts but you will get through it and be a better stronger person for it. I consoled myself with the idea that my ExDW would always get what was due and sure enough 12 years later the man she left me for ran off with her best friend...... Oh how I laughed! She lost the big house in the Chilterns, the BMW, the holidays in FLorida, the Horse etc etc now its an ex council house, an old renault, weekends at Haven! He will get his comeuppence, trust me,

Hope your DD is getting over her CP (Awesome timing!) Concentrate on them and looking after yourself and everything else will look after itself.

Good luck with going back to work, it will help and dont be afraid to let colleagues know what has happened. there is nothing worse that suffering quietly alone.

more rope enquiry here.

IfNothingElseItHasOtherUsesTiggaxx

no useful songs to add but i do have lily allen's 'fuck you' going round in my head now.

hope you got a decent night's sleep after an active day LNM. good luck going back to work today - it may be a great distraction in a way and make things more real and 'onward' iyswim.

Morning, I lay awake until about 3.30ish. Getting out if bed was bloody hard. 3 cups of coffee later I'm pacing the floor feeling sick. I had planned on asking my manager about reducing my work hours and not sure how it'll go. I have my heart set on it and if she says I can't I may actually cry.

At least I have a half day today.

Try not to make any decision about work just yet if you can put it off at all. You may change your mind about reducing your hours, you may not but, for now, keep your options open if you can.

Your gp can sign you on to reduced hours as a temporary measure if you think you can't cope with full. That would give you a bit of breathing space.

You sound like you are concerned about letting anyone know at work but trying to put on a mask and keep your emotions in all day might be a bit too hard. Could you tell your manager in confidence, so that the rest of the staff don't know unless you want them to?

Play it loud when the your girls re out of earshot

I reckon it would be an awesome skipping song too

Thinking about you this morning. Remember you are in control. Crying is fine!!

I think you should tell someone at work, HR, or line manager, just so they know that you are under stress at the moment.

Crying is a good release mechanism, keeping all your emotions locked in isnt the way to go - when you keep them all in, that is when you get extreme reactions and burst into tears at bizarre times. Trust me, been there, done that.

Hope work is ok for you today, try to eat something, even if its just a banana.

Wow, the was the most stressful 4 hours. My boss was off so didn't discuss my hours anyway. A client was being a dick on the phone and I came close to hanging up on the swine. I need some time off but Need to keep my holidays for the summer and don't want to be off sick, I don't get paid and sick pay I couldn't survive on. God sake, why is life so damn stressful. I can barely keep my eyes open today, can't eat and the house is a tip!

Hang on in there LMN. Keep going. You can get through today even if its 5 minutes at a time. You'll make it. Can you get a breath of fresh air? Or try eating that banana - think of a tennis players in the middle of a gruelling fifth set, stuffing a banana down at changeover. It will help with energy when you're running on empty. As always, you're bloody brill.

it never rains but it pours. Poor you. Give yourself a break about the house, Only do what you want, try to find something you can swallow without eating like soup- nutrition without the hassle!! can you have a little kip now before kids are home? if not you will survive with little sleep go to bed as soon as the dcs are in bed , just don't worry bout lack of sleep it won't kill you for a little while, but take every opportunity you have for a cat nap.

I was going to go for a swim but the pool is out of use. I can't settle when the house is a mess, I'm bloody neurotic! And poppy, by banana you meant a mint club biscuit, right?

I've just had an easter egg while the fruit is going off in the bow!!

So glad you got through your first morning back at work LoserNoMore for the next while all 'first' things (post-split, IYSWIM) are tough!
I remember finding so many things really difficult .... it didn't necessarily have to be things that we had done and enjoyed together (it just as easily could have been a school meeting or taking kids to the dentist, things I'd often done myself anyway).
I think it was the fact that the last time I had done that thing (be it go to work, or the dentist, or whatever) I had been part of a couple and life had felt normal.
Suddenly here was everyone carrying on as usual (which it was for them) and I felt not-quite-of-this-planet!

Anyway, in a kind of backwards way I am glad your boss was off, not because I don't think you should change your hours if that's what you want, but because this is a period of so many changes for you, it gives you another day or so to decide exactly what you want from your changed hours. Might as well ask for everything in one go!!! I hope they are co-operative and give you the changes you need.

Rotten not to be able to take some time off, just now. Have you got some childcare in place for the rest of the holidays, or was it your H who was going to be covering your working hours? (Ohhh, I hope not)

Hi LNM - hope you're ok. Well done on surviving 4 hours at work - it's going to take some getting used to! I would try and tell someone at work if you can, they don't all need to know but someone needs to cut you some slack jus in case. Don't over do things because you will feel Like you're taking backwards steps.
Have you spoken to DWP about tax credits and what you're entitled to now. You could well afford to reduce hours and get more tax credits. Worth considering. Also, single parent tax credits are payable from the date of separation so get in the phone and see what you're entitled to.
Loved your response to the loser btw - he has so underestimated you it's unreal! He will be so frustrated!! Well done on continuing to handle it all so brilliantly - but get some help. And if it all gets Too much for gods sake have a great big cry, a tub of ice cream and head to the gp's for a sick note xx take care x

At least your fruit made the bowl cjel Yesterday I found a six pack of kiwi fruit in the bottom of the fridge, which hadn't even been opened and had almost dissolved with rotten-ness! And I complain about my food bills!!

Thanks. Tbh the job has been grinding me down for months. I've been looking for something else but there's nothing. The longer I'm off the harder it is to go back. I'm worried I could make a massive cock up and cost the company a lot of money, when I first started I was thrown in at the deep end with no training. This is why I couldn't sleep last night, I was thinking about work. The hours I have are ok, I'm off every weekend which I love. The dd's are with a childminder during the holidays when I work. I'll call DWP now, I've been putting it off.

Cjel, I'm dreading the girls checking their Easter egg stash

Yes of course LNM - sorry about the banana typo - I did indeed mean a mint club biscuit! xx

enjoy

What alot of healthy eaters!! I just love that liquid that collects at the bottom of the fridge!!! Its usually cucumbers in our house!

LNM you are wonderful! Your DDs are so lucky. And you deserve a whole heap of mint club!

Your 'edited version' riposte to STBXH had me snort with mirth. You are sassy and brave and have such inspiring self-respect.

I'm sure someone else has already said but make sure you claim your 25% council tax rebate, child tax credits, housing benefit if applicable, CSA for child maintenance etc.