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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Last train to Loserville Part 2

999 replies

LoserNoMore · 07/04/2013 21:55

After the overwhelming support I've received on my thread I had to start another. Well I didn't have to but I have found all the advice so helpful that even if I only receive one more piece it will help.

I'll try and post the link to the full sorry story. Never linked on my phone before so it may not work.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1722750-This-doesnt-look-good-does-it?pg=40&order=

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 09/04/2013 10:44

possibly less queues than the science museum in the hols lnm. we were going to go to the dinosaur museum this hols and then i saw 1.5hr queuing times to get in standing in the smog (and snow at the time) and was put off.

you're making me think i should go do something though as we've been shut in a lot and i do not have the excuse of chicken pox let alone massive life changing events.

hope you have a lovely day out with the girls.

DaemonPantalaemon · 09/04/2013 15:48

I've been following your other thread too. And I really think it should be preserved on mumsnet forever as a textbook example to others of how to handle yourself with total class and dignity in the event of finding out your husband is a spineless piece of shit.

THIS A THOUSAND TIMES.

You are wonderful. I am so glad Skyebluesapphire is on this thread too watching you and cheering you on, because she has had a really bad time, and you are a brilliant example to her and others in similar pain of how to detach, detach, detach, focus on the essential and do it all with class, doses of black humour and such dignity.

Feel free to cry. But never to him. Don't call, don't text, let him make his relationship with his children.

So so proud of you.

Fairenuff · 09/04/2013 16:19

Hope you are having a lovely day out with your girls. Start taking lots of photos so that you have all those memories preserved. Good call on checking out his agenda for 'discussion' tomorrow. I agree that it's best to do it all by email so that you have a record of everything he says.

He is clearly still deluding himself that you will either 'get over it' or feel so sorry for him that you will take him back. Still no sign of him asking how you are and what he can do to make life easier for you.

I wonder how much longer sil will put him up until she starts to make hints to him about looking for a place to live?

cjel · 09/04/2013 16:56

hope you've had a lovely day.

TheOrchardKeeper · 09/04/2013 17:06

Wow.

I lost track of the other thread and have just come across this.

You are doing so bloody well Smile

He's showing his true colours now by the sounds of it, which at least makes you even more sure of your decision. What a twunt.

Just wanted to say that the way you've handled this is inspiring and it'll only get better from here Smile

I'm stupidly glad for you, despite the horrid circumstances, you're better off without & deserve so much better. Even if you're alone! At least you respect yourself, even if he didn't. Thanks

Jux · 09/04/2013 18:36

Hope you all had a good day today, LNM.

perfectstorm · 09/04/2013 18:36

Hope you've had a brilliant day and have a lovely evening. xxx

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 09/04/2013 19:13

Thanks, not long home. Sitting with a well earned mug of coffee! Had a great day and the girls too. When we got home dd2 said 'thanks for today mum you're the best'. Melted my heart.

On another note, just looked at my emails and MrLoser has sent a YouTube link for The Script - Man Who Can't Be Moved. Hmm I know it's immature and I shouldn't have replied but I did...with this...

"I prefer the edited editions, not sure if you've heard them?

The Man Who Shagged About and The Man Who Lost Everything!

Whoops.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 09/04/2013 19:24

Haha nice one.

Ah well, at least that answers my question about what he will do when sil gets fed up of him.

Or, why don't you say to him Do it for one whole month, live, eat and sleep on the streets in a cardboard box and I'll consider that you actually mean what you say for once?

He's all talk, as usual.

swallowedAfly · 09/04/2013 19:28

glad you had a good day.

don't feel bad for responding - human beings and all that. you're not a rock.

Xales · 09/04/2013 19:31

I am sorry but your H makes me want to vomit.

There is still absolutely zero concern or remorse as to how much this has hurt you. It is totally 100% about him. This is why ho doesn't think he has done any thing wrong he takes self absorbed and entitled to a new level.

If you do wonder where he may be just go and look in the nearest busty tramps bed...

This one will cheer you up

swallowedAfly · 09/04/2013 19:33

yes - total self absorption. have there been any 'how are the girls doing, are they ok, i'm so worried about them' type messages????

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 09/04/2013 19:36

Don't be sorry xales, he makes me sick too. I'll have a listen once girls are asleep :)

Haha fair snuff, yeah can't see him going to those lengths.

OP posts:
Cuddlydragon · 09/04/2013 19:37

But he has moved.....right put of his family home into his sister's spare room. What a loser! You're doing great. Wine x

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/04/2013 19:38

You are brilliant.

Bet his sisters washing machines doing overtime.

If you don't need the email for work set up a new one for friends and family and he can have the old one for arranging access visits.

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 09/04/2013 19:38

Fairenuff, not fair snuff.

He did ask how the girls were. Told him we all had a great day out.

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 09/04/2013 19:39

realistically though has his concern for the girls or his desperation to see them what yours would have been were the roles reversed?

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 09/04/2013 19:44

Em no, I'd be running over hot coals to see them if I were him. He's been off work too as we had planned a long weekend away so has had plenty of opportunity to arrange to take them out. Ok, dd3 had CP but he could have taken them to his sisters and spent time with them.

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 09/04/2013 19:45

well that's facts to bank about the 'real him' as opposed to who you thought he was too then LNM.

face the reality of his level of concern and desire to see his own children after crushing their family.

GaryBuseysTeeth · 09/04/2013 20:31

Glad you had a nice day!
DD2 sounds like a star, hope you're feeling better & DD3 isn't too itchy tonight.

I actually 'lol-ed' at your response to him, what a loser.

almondfinger · 09/04/2013 20:40

I've said it before and I have to say it again, you are just amazing. Of course you are going to be down and miserable and there is not much point us telling you to cheep up really.

But I love your posts. You are so controlled, measured, intelligent, smart and funny. Especially in your replies to him. I would be screaming, bawling, tearing my hair out, tearing his hair out... I take my hat off to you.

Your children sound wonderful and I bet they'll grow up to be just like you.

LittleEsme · 09/04/2013 20:43

Wow - he just doesn't get it, does he?
Keep your mind busy LNM. Less time to think and to dwell.

50shadesofknackered · 09/04/2013 20:56

Grin at your edited version, what an idiot. Does he think that's enough to make you beg him to come home Hmm I'm pleased you have all had a good day.

LittleEsme · 09/04/2013 21:00

What's your plan for tonight LNM?
I'm currently surfing Am*zon for a pair of lightweight trainers/plimsolls so that I can take up skipping again. It's the one thing I'm good at and it burns the flab Grin

cjel · 09/04/2013 21:04

Esme Am jealous again. Another one with pelvic floor of steel