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Original poster

Last train to Loserville Part 2

999 replies

LoserNoMore · 07/04/2013 21:55

After the overwhelming support I've received on my thread I had to start another. Well I didn't have to but I have found all the advice so helpful that even if I only receive one more piece it will help.

I'll try and post the link to the full sorry story. Never linked on my phone before so it may not work.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1722750-This-doesnt-look-good-does-it?pg=40&order=

OP posts:
themidwife · 20/04/2013 07:04

Oh crap LNM that's appalling. Angry

Newyearoldmum · 20/04/2013 07:10

Good god just when you thought he couldn't be anymore fucking stupid! So sorry you're going through this. Words fail me for men like this - well non sweary ones anyway. He just keeps proving you made the right decision at every turn doesn't he?

dawntigga · 20/04/2013 07:11

LNM that is awful, it also sounds like the desperate attempt of some deluded woman to trap him as hers.

She fucking deserves him, you don't, you are freaking fabulous.

CyberHugsAvailableOnDemandTiggaxx

Newyearoldmum · 20/04/2013 07:16

Oh and Angry Angry Angry

lunar1 · 20/04/2013 07:18

Sorry to read your latest update lnm. I can't imagine how angry you must be

Wideboy · 20/04/2013 07:20

I too have been reading this thread from the beginning (with utter horror) and am among the crowd of well wishers for you and your daughters. What has struck me about this latest development is the parallel with one of the current storylines in East Enders. Could OW stoop so low?

themidwife · 20/04/2013 07:22

And he wants you to take him back???

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/04/2013 07:45

Putting the baby aside, you need a sexual health test incl a HIV test now.

The baby's not your problem but your health is.

Qquite frankly the baby's his problem until the DNA test comes back.

The CSAs going to have a job on their hands aren't they?

getthegirladrink · 20/04/2013 08:42

Ah shit mate, what a total cock
(((hugs)))

Pannacotta2013 · 20/04/2013 08:49

Oh LNM, I'm so so sorry to hear this, how heartbreaking Sad. It is too much. Normally in a break up these things happen slowly, you get the relationship going bad, then an ending, then they find someone, then they start a new life, and you do too at the same time. It happens in stages, and we can adjust and let go in stages too. But you've smashed from happily married family life to betrayal and OW and pregnancy in what, two weeks? It must be so disorienting and just hellish.

Two things tho: 1) presumably it can't get any worse than this, tho that's small consolation, 2) that progress you were making, it's not lost. You might be back at square one, but you know things got better over the last few weeks, and so they will this time.

Sending you love and hugs x x

imtheonlyone · 20/04/2013 09:14

Oh bloody hell!! Cannot believe what I've just read Angry. What a stupid twunt! I really don't know what to say. Not much help am i? God knows how you must be feeling. Keep posting lnm ThanksThanksThanks did you manage to get some sleep?

swallowedAfly · 20/04/2013 09:20

that likely means no contraception was used so you really must get a sexual health check up with all the tests LNM. i'm so sorry.

i think this needs to be your cue to start official proceedings - child support needs to get established asap. i'm so sorry. what a mess he has made! and now with you not wanting him back and her pregnant and him nowhere to live you can imagine how easily he will slide into his next place in life with a woman he doesn't even love really but just happened to get caught shagging and get her pregnant. what a miserable life he is carving out for himself really.

not suggesting you pity him just that you prepare yourself for the fact if he does end up living with her and playing families it's not some fairy tale romance but a lazy slide from one fuck up to another and living with the consequences.

captainbarnacle · 20/04/2013 09:35

Well, now to everyone else he looks like an even bigger dick. If that was at all possible xx

Thisisaeuphemism · 20/04/2013 09:39

Oh no. How horrible. Agree with swallowed, he's really got himself in it now - hes an idiot.

  • well, it means you made absolutely the right decision in not letting him back.
It's a shock now, but if you continue detaching as you have done so well, it won't affect you as much as you think it will.
JaxTellerIsAllMine · 20/04/2013 09:54

oh LNM, just read your latest post. I am so sorry. As if you needed any more to deal with. Sad he really is an absolute twunt.

This should remind you that you did the right thing. And as others have said, get things made official now.

PyroclasticFlo · 20/04/2013 09:57

Gawd, thats shit. So sorry LNM, you must be feeling like you've been punched in the guts. What a crap bag of a Loser he truly is. You're well shot.

Get it made official, get yourself tested / checked to protect your health and get on to the CSA to protect your beautiful daughters and make sure he provides for them.

Great big un-mumsnetty-hugs x

cjel · 20/04/2013 10:02

How was the night lnm? How are you this morning?xx

Fairenuff · 20/04/2013 10:02

If he was risking pregnancy he was also riksing his health, and yours op. He really didn't care about anything but getting his leg over. Shallow. Selfish. Sad. You are well rid of him.

Use this time now to get things sorted as others have said. You are great at being practical and it will give you something else to focus on.

If there is a child, it would be proof that he cheated, no matter what he tells everyone else. If not, then he is just trying to get you involved in his dramas. Detach from him as much as you can and just concentrate on you and the girls.

You are doing so well. He is a mess.

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/04/2013 10:04

He's never having a weekend off is he? If it is his he will have your girls one week and baby the next when if its old enough.

This assumes;

Pg is real.
Pg continues and no mc
Baby is his.
Babies mum wants him to have contact.

So, there's a lot of variables in this situation.

lazarusb · 20/04/2013 10:27

I wonder if this is true too. Especially as he presumably didn't see OW last weekend because he was with your dds? Maybe she's making it up to 'frighten' him. Interesting he can't be sure it's his. She sounds like as much of a catch as he is.

But that is his problem. I know it feels like he's ripping you apart right now and how fucking hard that is, especially as you've had a couple of more positive days. I agree with the above poster that said this is a good opportunity to get maintenance established. I know it will change if baby is real and if it is his but it will give you some financial security for the next few months at least.

In a way, I'm glad you found out about OW when you did. I think finding out about a pg OW is even worse (IFYSWIM?). The timing makes me very suspicious tbh. Either she's planned this - I think you said she has a young baby anyway? Or she's lying because she's realised that he doesn't think she was worth what he's lost.

QuintessentialOHara · 20/04/2013 10:32

Oh what a saga. What an idiot. I agree you need to get your sexual health checked out, and see a solicitor to protect your assets.

On the bright side, the more he works, the more his salary, and the more for the CSA... Sad

Thisisaeuphemism · 20/04/2013 10:37

I think it's best to assume its true :( they both are twats who don't give a thought for consequences.

As long as you Dont get dragged in to his idiocy you'll be fine.

Loulybelle · 20/04/2013 10:50

The timing of this latest news seems so off to me, but since the idiot has told you suggests that he didnt use protection, what a vile bastard,

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 20/04/2013 10:57

I can't even think about it. I can't believe he had unprotected sex with her. How stupid. He said he doesn't know what to do, told him its not my problem, think he was waiting on me giving him advice or something. He said he's not with her and doesn't want to be. Anyway none of that matters, I couldn't care less about his relationship with her.

Since last year we had always used condoms and I'm on the pill due to me falling pregnant last August. We had decided after dd3 our family was complete and it was a shock. We were just getting used to the idea when I had a MC at 8 weeks. I would've been due next month. No point dwelling on that but it was the the first thing I thought when he told me last night.

I think someone said on my first thread about condoms not protecting against all STI's, is that correct?

Seems like a step forward and 2 back just now. I'll get all the legalities sorted this coming week. For now, this weekend I'll try and put it to the back of my mind. Thanks .

OP posts:
Jux · 20/04/2013 10:58

LNM, Shock what an arsehole he is. (((hug))) and Thanks

Now, you need to secure your position financially. Ifnhe's living with her then his expenses are less and you will therefore benefit in financial terms. You must get the CSA sorted now before this baby is born, as - if it is his - that will lessen yhe amount the CSA will want him to pay to your children,mso do it this week,mto secure the best provision you can for your lovely girls.

It's awful having to be so hard-headed right now, but it's what you need to do to protect your own children.

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