Right.
Very, very long and exhausting story cut short as I am going to bed.
He came home we talked at my insistance.
I asked what more could possibly be done. he said it was all my fault.
I said he had to go.
he said he can't have kids blah blah.
I told him either go now or I will go.
In the end I left and went to mums.
I chickened out of telling her.
I had second thoughts, text him asked him to come with me to take dd2 tp party. i told him I would come to gig.
He then said he had told ds. Ds was alone in house he said don't come to gig, may confuse dcs(????).
I picked up dds and had no option but to tell them that dad and i were separating.
They cried.
I saw his phone.
I am crap with technology so I had to ask dd1 to get into it.
Saw a womans name.
Had to ask dd1 to check who it was, she saw the text, begged me not to read them.
Of course I did and made a note of her name and no.
I had to go out then and when i came back the phone had gone!!!!
I hadn't read everything but got this gist.
I made enquiries, my good friend came round totally flabergasted.
She told me to ring the woman. I did I told her who I was and that I knew she knew my husband, she said she vaguely knew him.
I called her a liar, told her I knew everything. She hung up i text her and told her what I thought of her in no uncertain terms. I rang dh, he didn't answer, he did text.
I text him back and told him to see a good solicitor and that I will be applying for divorce citing adultery and that bitch who knew heis a married man with 3 children will be named as the ow, for her ancestors to forever see.
His bags are packed i have told him not to come into this house again. I said police will be called if he comes in.
Right to the very end I was doubting myself and would have let him come home until I found the messages.
He denies evertyhing.
I have contacted a friend, she has given me the name of an excellent divorce lawyer.
I have had to tell his mum we are apart.
The kids were upset, i really didn't want them to know about ow but I couldn't hack into his phone alone.
DD1 says she hates him.
says he asked her earlier who she would live with if we split up.
She has said if she ever meets this ow she will "kick the fucking shit out of her" She never swears but I have sworn to my friend all night, in privacy.
None of them can understand why there dad has done this.
we have google ow. dd1 cannot believe it.
After all this and me offering to alter do whatever to save marriage and dh saying no/not seeming interested.
His last text begged me to talk to him, face to face.
He has said i can't call her a whore. i have said I will call her and him what the fuck I like.
Turned phone off, not answering any more calls.
I actually feel better as at last I understand that none of this is my fault.
Thank you all for your wisdom and help.
x