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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread no 49

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 01/04/2013 15:17

All daters welcome here.

OP posts:
Snapespeare · 01/04/2013 16:33

uh-oh on the body lotion front. this could be interesting....

Grin at leek-dick.

Snapespeare · 01/04/2013 16:35

nora 'well it certainly made me laugh. must be very difficult for you to keep a straoght face at funerals or at sober moments, knowing you have a hilarious penis' Grin Grin Grin

KinNora · 01/04/2013 16:52

Snape - clench your thighs together, love, it keeps them up until such time as it's better to unclench. [bugrin]

Further to the great cock shot conundrum, I thanked him for answering my question and then asked him if he'd ever considered whether such a photograph might be considered intrusive, considering he was sending it to someone he'd never met. He sent a really rather intelligent, seemingly thoughtful and sensitive reply and apologised 'sincerely'. Hmmm.

mercury7 · 01/04/2013 16:52

Bant, I thought perhaps if we routinely asked the senders of anatomical pictures we might be able to infer something from their answers which would serve to further illuminate one or other of the currently held theories?

JulietteMontague · 01/04/2013 16:55

I think they think we will be impressed by it. Skinny cock pics make me shudder.

I seem to attract OD men who want to be dominated Hmm.

Snape pace yourself, you want Nameless in one piece Grin

OP posts:
mercury7 · 01/04/2013 16:56

I have found Kin that blokes will offer a (seemingly) sincere apology if I give the impression that I am put out by the sending of trouser snake pictures.

JulietteMontague · 01/04/2013 17:01

kirsty how disappointing, these men who droop at the first sigh of a condom, it's like the condom has magic powers of Droopdome or something. It's very common sadly and you get it falling off so it's game over by that time as nothing less sexy than trying to force the marshmallow back in.

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 01/04/2013 17:02

That's back into a condom Grin

OP posts:
Scrazy · 01/04/2013 17:02

Nora, too late for him to come over all sincere and intelligent.

Scrazy · 01/04/2013 17:06

Juliette Grin

KinNora · 01/04/2013 17:06

Yes, Mercury, loath as I am to be cynical, I felt the need to include the word 'seemingly' in my description of his explanation.

Juliette do you not fancy spanking some weedy little bloke off t'internet then ? [bugrin]

KinNora · 01/04/2013 17:08

'Pushing a marshmallow back into a condom' Juliette that made me laugh out loud in my parents' living room, my mum wants to know what I'm laughing at

mercury7 · 01/04/2013 17:14

I suppose really the apology is a further testament to his lack of insight Hmm

he ought to know that any bridge is well and truly burnt, and should respond in some kind of 'ok, I'll get me coat then' manner

VelvetSpoon · 01/04/2013 17:14

Please spare me from competitive present giving. I thought people just did this with their children?!!

2 people I know who split up some time ago but clearly are not at all over each other , now with new 'partners' (of a matter of weeks) one has plastered all over their FB the ridiculous Easter gifts received from new 'partner', whilst the other has done exactly the same with Easter gifts purchased for new 'partner'.

Honestly I think all concerned are about 5 Hmm. Was talking to The Builder yesterday about FB he said he can't understand people putting the minutiae of their lives on there, hates all chain posts about benefit cheats/illegal immigrants etc (and deletes anyone who posts that stuff immediately), likewise people who use the C word, which he considers only to be used in extremis at football matches!

Had he actually used the words minutiae and in extremis I would have forced my number onto him Grin

mercury7 · 01/04/2013 17:22

the fact that a person uses facebook to score points pretty much says it all.

Where is your compassion?
can you not find it in your heart to feel sorry for these people Velvet Wink

JulietteMontague · 01/04/2013 17:24

I just got depressed reading about other people's orgasms on another thread. The mind blowing, squirting, pic, the clitoral, oral. Probably because my very last sexual encounter had something of the marshmallow about it. I don't usually feel jealous but EnvyEnvyEnvy.

Some man is going to get very lucky at this rate.

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 01/04/2013 17:25

Grin Mercury I should, but they are such a pair of narcissistic idiots they just irritate me beyond any compassion!

Do feel slightly sorry for the 2 new 'partners' who I suspect have no idea that they are basically being used for point scoring...

Scrazy · 01/04/2013 17:27

Velvet, don't tell me the split couple in question are still friends with each other on fb Hmm.

VelvetSpoon · 01/04/2013 17:29

Not quite that bad - mutual friends only, but excessively low privacy settings so both can easily see what the other writes!

Scrazy · 01/04/2013 17:29

Juliette, which thread, seem to have missed it.

mercury7 · 01/04/2013 17:40

Julliette, dont post the link! I dont want to read it Envy

sure a few people have consistently amazing sex lives, but probably for most of us, the really good bits are occasional oases in a dessert of disappointment
oops! getting a bit carried away with the old alliteration there:o

KinNora · 01/04/2013 17:45

It's not someone we know boasting about their amazing sex life is it ? No handstands ?

I can post about my sex life if you like, that'll make you all feel better ...

Scrazy · 01/04/2013 17:49

Which thread? You can usually tell.

JulietteMontague · 01/04/2013 18:19

It's just one of this regular threads about someone not having piv that's V iPhone not pic orgasms, cue other regulars piling in to talk about their amazing orgasms. I have to say, if I were back on track then I wouldn't feel the need to over share on a thread like that, it's Here it's a bit different as its often the joy after the drought soon get that. No suspicious talk of handstands to facilitate deep anything yet I'm now in the gym cafe, that says it all Grin

OP posts:
KirstyWirsty · 01/04/2013 18:23

I've thankfully never had a cock shot

If I get one I will ask why ..

I think I will abandon OKC and reset my POF account when I get back from my holiday . Slim pickings on there in my neck of the woods .. In fact MrFixit was the only one I considered as as he has ishoooos ( and wiped his face on the bedding and was a bit huffy ) the rest aren't looking that great

Wine Doritos and hummus for dinner (standard when I'm down in the dumps )

Btw the sex thread .. I remember watch saying that she had 20 orgasms in one session once .. Made me feel v inadequate .. Think I'll avoid that one for now

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