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Original poster

Dating thread no 49

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 01/04/2013 15:17

All daters welcome here.

OP posts:
ChooChooLaverne · 02/04/2013 21:09

You've all been very busy since I was last on.

Yay for all the loving 48 and Snape - am very pleased for you both.

Velvet - sounds like you quite rightly have lots of admirers, not surprisingly as you sound completely lovely. Shame C can't up his game a bit to give you what you deserve .

OWW sorry to hear MrV wasn't what you wanted but exciting that you've already got more lined up.

Well, my big build up to a weekend of lurving was a bit premature. Had a lovely time of it with MrNP who is completely lovely and funny and all that. And he's a fantastic kisser who makes me go weak at the knees. And I really like him. BUT, he got willy wilt as soon as the condoms came out. Gah. Is this something that can get better? Could he just have been really nervous because he likes me or is that just wishful thinking? We managed to do everything else but PIV sex, which was all pretty good. But... it's so frustrating. Confused

OhWesternWind · 02/04/2013 21:14

Oh ChooChoo that us a bit of a let down. I think it's just probably down to all the pressure and expectation and nerves, could well work out in the future. Did he say anything about it at all?

lubeybooby · 02/04/2013 21:16

Oh no choochoo my worst nightmare. I was saying this might happen to someone on the thread last year who had been seeing someone brilliant for about 8 weeks and was all loved up but hadn't slept with him yet.

I completely act as though it isn't a problem though and tend to get very naughty in an effort to help things along... if that doesn't work though then there's nothing you can do but hope it's down to nerves and if you seem unfazed will right itself next time.

Or, if you are 1) confirmed as in a relationship and monogamous and 2) on other contraception and 3) it's purely the condoms causing the prob then you could both get tested and get your certs asap and ditch the condoms.

ChooChooLaverne · 02/04/2013 21:22

He said he'd put too much pressure on himself. So I (somewhat desperately) suggested ditching the condoms and just doing anything but PIV sex, which seemed to work well. But now am scared that mentioning condoms may set it off again.

Guess we will have to have another conversation about it next time it rears (or not) its head!

Yes, I guess if it was just the condoms I would be happy to follow your 3 point plan lubey.

ChooChooLaverne · 02/04/2013 21:23

Could also be that I scared him by showing him my giant box of condoms that I'd lined up for the weekend. I didn't mention the other box as there was a special offer on

BillMasen · 02/04/2013 21:29

Did someone mention cocktails a few pages back? Smile

And no, whoever asked, never sent a cock shot, ever!!

Winefiend · 02/04/2013 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winefiend · 02/04/2013 21:39

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MirandaWest · 02/04/2013 21:40

Choochoo I've been through something similar with Mr Nice - was frustrating but helped that he did and does a lot of other excellent things. And meant for me that when sex worked really well for the first time that it was more special somehow. But I think I had rather fallen for him before the first attempts at sex (and we didn't wait that long at all) - I probably wouldn't have taken so much time on someone I didn't care about iyswim.

ChooChooLaverne · 02/04/2013 21:49

Miranda I have fallen for him just a bit quite a lot already. And I really want it to work. In your case did it just get better on its own and was it to do with nerves?

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 02/04/2013 22:14

ChooChoo Sad. This is the second condom shy penis this week, on the plus side it seems he was open about what the problem was and you both got around it well. If he said it was nerves then it probably was.

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 02/04/2013 22:17

It got better basically on its own although I think my being understanding did help. Things improved in little bits if that makes any sense until I realised there wasn't an issue any more. Thinking about it, there was probably about a month or so of frustrating stuff although also lovely stuff iyswim.

Mr Nice is I think always going to be suspectable to a floppy willy at times of stress (happened about 6 weeks ago with combination of his XW moving back up here, him getting a new job and something else I think) but I know it's just something that happens and doesn't change "us". Or something like that. Doesn't stop the odd bit of frustration though although the most recent problem was sorted out with sex on his sofa which was very pleasurable

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 02/04/2013 22:18
OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 02/04/2013 22:19

Spence are you busy fishing?

KirstyWirsty · 02/04/2013 22:42

juliet I had the other WW (tm) .. I just got the impression he wanted to go bareback .. As he said it wouldnt be a problem without the condoms Who was it who said 'no glove no love' ??

BillMasen · 02/04/2013 22:44

Oh, and hi spence. Nice to have another bloke around. I can really sympathise with what you're going through and they're a good bunch on here (mostly Smile ). You'll get good advice and good support in equal measure.

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 02/04/2013 22:45

Kirsty I remember now, he was rather transparent about it too.

OP posts:
BillMasen · 02/04/2013 22:47

juliette Smile

OhWesternWind · 02/04/2013 22:49

Are you still seeing Geek Girl Bill?

BillMasen · 02/04/2013 22:59

Hi oww. Yeah although it's the same issue of diary problems on both sides that mean finding time with no kids is really hard. Not sure where it can go really, which is a bit of a shame. All nice enough at the moment though.

Just keeping a lurking presence on here, seeing how you're all doing. Daft really but you feel like you get to know people a bit through their posts and stories, and really want things to go well for them.

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 02/04/2013 23:07

Bill maybe that's just enough for now, you still have someone but it's relaxed. Did you get some child free time like you wanted to?

OP posts:
BillMasen · 02/04/2013 23:13

Yes a few days away just to be a grown up on my own, which was very nice. I think I'll have a testing month or so coming up (selling the marital home, trying to change access a bit to get a small social life, work stuff) so glad my batteries are recharged ready!

Bought a new car and pick that up tomorrow so, like all small boys with a new toy, a little bit excited.

VelvetSpoon · 03/04/2013 01:25

Bill sounds like the break away was much needed! Enjoy the new car:)

I fell asleep before 9 tonight (was obviously more tired than I realised, I blame the fact I had to sit at work with nothing to do all day!), DS1 woke me up about an hour ago...and am now wide awake Confused. Will have to try and sleep in a bit!

Lubey well done re Friday, hope it all goes to plan! Am somewhat in awe :)

ChooChoo I dated a bloke once years ago who had this issue with condoms...from memory it did improve over time, so as you like this one, see how it goes. I think for some men if they've had issues with condoms in the past, then been in a long relationship where they haven't used them, it's a psychological thing, but one which I'm sure can be overcome :)

Ok, off to attempt some sleep...

mercury7 · 03/04/2013 01:41

hope you get plenty z's Velvet, I'm on the late shift as usual:o

lubeybooby · 03/04/2013 02:31

Thanks I am chuffed about Friday. Had a good chat with Mr B via text this evening. Managed to discuss sexual likes and dislikes without it turning into complete porn. I don't usually do that but I'm still on the roof eager for the deed to not only be done, but be done right and he seems to score full marks on compatibility in theory with me there... so fingers crossed.

The rest of the night should be good also, my usual preferred format of drinks and dinner with suitable opportunity to do a runner if need be, and with my free house handily round the corner if not. Yeehaw :o

Kirsty it's me with the no glove no love thing, or at least I recall saying it anyway about that one that had a vasectomy and seemed to think that meant no rubber required... wrong!