Dating thread number 48 :-)

[MirandaWest]

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

Yes the same one. Now he's asking how does my garden grow i told him that's too personal for someone i haven't met and he said sorry we'll change the subject.

I think it may be my fault the other night for going along with him when he started the rude talk.

He says he's never spoken like that to. woman before. I have no idea if that's true or not.

He's really stupidly nervous about meeting too and is worrying about all the stuff i should be worrying about.

Nora And the reason why

Evolutionary Theory says bosoms are buttocklike protrusions, designed to tempt men in situations when they can't get a glimpse of your bum

I find such hypotheses dumb.

It's like the one that lipstick is for making your lips look more like the lips of a happy vagina.
Since I heard that I can't look my great aunt in the eye.

Rainy. Drop him. There are plenty more fish. He's made you feel uncomfortable on several occasions, he's overstepped the boundary several times, and even if he's never spoken to a woman like that before, why should you be the first one he feels okay to do it to? If you like the talk then fine, meet him. If you don't, he's not suddenly going to turn into a chivalrous knight.

It's just a waste of a few emails, there are much nicer blokes out there. Honest.

There is something about large breasts though. I have been mesmerised by them and an ex whom I know preferred smaller breasts had run his car into railings at slow motion because he was staring at a pair of large breasts.

Yeah, I read those theories for the first time in The Naked Ape, I think, put me right off lip gloss for a while, I can tell you.

Rainy I agree with Bant. You've given him lots of chances but he's not learning. He's disrespecting you, and if he thinks he can behave like this now, it's only going to get worse if you carry on chatting or meet up. There are loads of men out there on the sites, and you'll be able to find someone to chat to and go out with very easily.

Please, get rid. I don't like this man. It's as if he's putting on a show of being nice, but his real self keeps coming through.

Rainy so he's saying he's nervous yet he can ask if you squirt, has never spoken to a woman about this stuff before? No, it isn't your fault, this isn't normal, and unless you are happy to go alone with this where he gets off online and may have no intention of meeting you at all just get rid.

along, not alone

I read that dark eyes and red lips are what happens naturally when a female is aroused so we mimic it with make-up. Probably a load of crock too.

Having large breasts compared to the rest of my body, I can vouch that if I show them off in the summer in a tee shirt, I could cause car accidents.

I'm so confused. I asked him to stop and he did. I think he'd treat me well but he can annoy me. He's thinking too far ahead and asked me what i want my wedding to be like! I'm getting the feeling he'd be needy and i really hate that.

That made me laugh about your Aunt Bant.

There are no boobs to see on my profile or anything to suggest I'd like to talk dirty.

The cleavage thing is quite true I think. Even C (who is lovely, well I would say that!) loses the ability to have a sensible, coherent, conversation with me if my somewhat impressive cleavage is on show...

Hi, can I join you? Well, I haven't been on a date for 4 years and my friend had persuaded me to go on a dating website as I don't really go out

So my question is which site is the best and reasonably priced?

What do I need to be mindful of?

What should I steer clear of?

I'm clueless and a bit reluctant, but so need to get out and have a life!

Really Juliette ? I remember having particular problems with male patients in one specific room because the stool they sat on pretty much left them eye level with my breasts, god only knows how I ever refrained from shouting 'wooohoooo up here' at any of them.

I did a mystery shop once where the bloke spent the whole time talking to my boobs! Wasn't sure which section to put that in the report!

Kin yes, I stare at large breasts and I don't think it's in a sexual I want them way. It's almost like a feat of nature that they are there.

Hi Willow - good to have you here.

Which site is best is a difficult question as it all depends on your demographic and area. I'm on Match and PoF at the moment but only because match had a good special offer on.

What to look out for? Basically, anything that doesn't feel right and makes you uncomfortable. Just stop messaging. You don't need to give a reason and you can just block them to stop more messages.

If you don't feel ready, though, don't do it as it can be a bit wearing sometimes.

Please come back and ask us anything, always happy to advise as best we can.

Rainy this man is bad news, if you are hanging on the the 'nice' he is already manipulating you. Soon, you'l find yourself grateful for the 'nice', the 'he's not that bad'. Nice is meant to be normal, nothing less. Genuinely nice, takes an interest in you, listens to you and respects what you say. This man is not doing any of this, it's not a compliment, he is trying to use you already.

I think anyone who was breastfed will have some innate interest in breasts from when they were a baby anyway. But men moreso.

If I'm sitting opposite someone with a low cut top and they're well endowed, I really can't help but look occasionally. You know, just to check they're still there. Politeness and interest in the person will drag my focus up again, and if they're pretty and/or interesting then it'll stay on their face, but it's kind of innate.

Sorry.

I do remember seeing some pyschology study on TV though where both men and women wore the eye-tracking devices, and women were checking out the arse of every man that walked past. And shoulders too, then faces. The women had no idea they were doing it until shown the footage.

the 'great' thing about evolutionary psychology is that it's impossible to prove either way

I think it's mostly cod, but then I'm in the nurture camp on the nature / nurture debate.
I think we are all primed by our culture to be mesmerized by breasts, I am too, although I'm not aware of being sexually attracted to women

depends what you mean by 'innate' Bant, but as far as I'm aware human behaviour is overwhelmingly learned, we have very little that is instinctive in the true sense of the word

That bit, nice is meant to be normal has really hit home. I never looked at it that way before. Of course just because someone is nice i shouldn't overlook all the crap.

Thank you i know it may seem like I'm not listening i am I'm just trying to get it all straight in my head.

No way do I check out mens bottoms, before anything else.

just because someone seems nice some of the time, Rainy - not when he's asking personal questions which make you uncomfortable. That's not nice.

Mercury, I disagree on the nature/nurture thing, I've read enough studies on it to think we're just monkeys in shoes.

speak for yourself Bant